Dressed To Impress

Women like to get dressed up. They like to look their best.

But for whom?

One of the interesting surprises of “the Red Pill” was that women don’t really dress up for men. Or at least, men as a whole. Reader/Commenter Ame had this to say in my post Tissue-Paper Walls:

a woman can pick another woman apart in a nano-second with one eye covered and the other only half open. women dress for other women more than they dress for men. as has been stated in the manosphere … women compete with other women – some much more fiercely than others.

Women dressing for other women [over dressing for men] was something that I had no clue about before finding the ‘sphere. And what is interesting about this particular tidbit of RP knowledge is that it was a woman who passed it on to me shortly after I found the ‘sphere. She of course thought it was common sense. Which just goes to show the gap in understanding that exists between men and women.

What is interesting to think about is the motivation behind this behavior. What we have is women dressing the best, but not to try and attract men in general. Instead they are trying to show off to other women how attractive they are in order to one-up other women. Otherwise stated, they are showing off how they could pull a quality man, without actually aiming to do so (at least as their primary interest).

Let’s add together a couple of things: 1) The vast majority of men are normally of little concern to women. 2) Women compete fiercely with one another over sexual attractiveness. From this we can extrapolate a significant amount about female behavior, especially socio-sexual behavior.

For one, we can see that women are clearly able to evaluate each others attractiveness in the eyes of men.

Second, we can see that the hierarchy

among women is dominated by their sexual market value, or at least their perceived value.

Third, we can see that this isn’t an objective value by any measure, at least as men evaluate it. The 1-10 scale, for example, is subjective between men. But for an individual man he will generally rate women independent of one another. That isn’t how women do it, however. Instead, women rank each other on their attractiveness as much as gauge their actual SMV value. So it isn’t enough to be an 8, you have to be a higher 8 than the woman over there.

Nothing I’ve said is an kind of revelation, naturally. However it is a good thing to remember. Plus I will try and work it into my next Selected Sunday Scriptures post.

Advertisements

24 Comments

Filed under Attraction, Blue Pill, Red Pill, Sexual Market Place, Sexual Strategies, Sin, Temptation, Women

24 responses to “Dressed To Impress

  1. SJ, Esquire (formerly Samson J)

    Good series of posts, but I’ve read through this one several times and I’m still scratching my head asking, “Yes, but *why* do women care what other women think? *Why*?”

    we can see that women are clearly able to evaluate each others attractiveness in the eyes of men.

    No way, Jose! No way. Women have very *poor* ability to rate other women’s attractiveness, in my experience. The number of times I’ve heard women, in their catty fashion, talking about other women, and they’ll say, “…but she’s SO PRETTY!” and you look and the girl in question ain’t all that pretty; or vice versa, where a woman will say, “What do guys SEE in her anyway?”, and you’re like, uh, u srs?

  2. DJ

    Maybe it has nothing to do with men. Maybe women just like competing and do it for fun, or perhaps they dress for themselves because it makes them feel a certain way. Especially since women in general don’t actually understand what is attractive to men.
    How many times have you had to explain to a woman why some thing was attractive/unattractive to men and were baffled that she seemed surprised.

  3. SJ, Esquire (formerly Samson J)

    Maybe women just like competing and do it for fun

    This seems as likely as anything. What a weird category of people.

  4. Samson:

    Couldn’t stay away, huh?

    I think women do understand very well what men find attractive. Women are taught and conditioned from very early ages what men find attractive. Also, women tend to be better in social and interpersonal arenas, reading social cues, discerning the subtexts of interactions, discerning what’s REALLY being communicated vs. what’s being verbalized, etc. So women can easily see what is attractive to men and what isn’t.

    Women tell each other “SO PRETTY!” for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is to convince a less attractive woman that she does not have to improve. She can just stay her unattractive self so as to render her less able to compete with others for attractive men, attention, validation, etc.

  5. SJ, Esquire (formerly Samson J)

    Couldn’t stay away, huh?

    Nobody can.

  6. anonymous_ng

    Van Morrison:
    Lyrics

    As you brush your shoes and stand before your mirror
    And you comb your hair and grab your coat and hat
    And you walk the streets trying to remember
    All those wild nights breeze through your mind
    And everything looks so complete
    When you´re walking out on the street
    And the wind catches your feet
    And sends you flying, crying
    Oooh, oo-ooh wee the wild night is calling

    All the girls walked by dressed up for each other

    And the boys do the boogie woogie on the corner of the street
    And the people passing by just stare with the wild wonder

  7. I’ve always questioned the “women dress for other women” thing as a feminist plot for cultural subterfuge. In other words, “Hey, you pig-headed patriarch…let me show you how unimportant you are by showing that your wife is not dressing nice for you.”

    I smell a rat in the logic somewhere. A devious Dworkin, rubbing her hands together while the gullible Christian family is in flames.

  8. This temptation:

    Genesis 3:4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

    6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.

    Women vie for ‘godship’ in certain areas. Attractiveness — or what it really is: attention whoring — is just one such area. Concern about the opinion of man(kind). In relationships, women are tempted to rule [over] their men.

    Women are able to ‘exert power’ when eyes are on them, which is another reason why Christians can’t win a cultural battle (nor are we supposed to).

    Women do not have any ‘power’ when they do not have ‘attention.’ This is why women vie for attention from both attractive/powerful men and from women.

  9. MK

    A devious Dworkin, rubbing her hands together while the gullible Christian family is in flames.

    LMAO. I wanna grow up to write just like you. Just a dream, I’ll never make it. Note I’m NOT laughing at your point; crying about that. The truth hurts.

  10. Did it ever occur that some women like to dress to impress because they believe looking their best is best? There are women who believe in beauty, and women should strive for beauty because it’s an inherent good.

    Women seem to fall into one of 3 groups– the women who dress for other women, the ones who dress for men, and the ones who dress for the sake of beauty. There should be more who fall into the last group, but it’s not as socially acceptable.

  11. What Maea said.

    It’s pretty easy to tell which of those three categories a particular woman falls into:

    If a woman typically dresses like a skank then she’s dressing to gain the attention of men.

    If a woman typically dresses based on current fashion fads (“high fashion” I think it’s called) despite the fact that most men don’t seem to like high fashion, then she’s dressing for other women.

    If a woman typically dresses in a classic, modest way, not drawing attention to private body parts, and not caring what the current fashion trends are, then she’s dressing just for the sake of beauty itself.

  12. If a woman typically dresses in a classic, modest way, not drawing attention to private body parts, and not caring what the current fashion trends are, then she’s dressing just for the sake of beauty itself.

    “Feminine” and “pretty” should be included in that sentence for clarity of my point.

  13. @ Maea and Cassie

    Good explanation and expansion.

    Did it ever occur that some women like to dress to impress because they believe looking their best is best? There are women who believe in beauty, and women should strive for beauty because it’s an inherent good.

    Unfortunately, such women are so few in number, that they are easy to overlook.

  14. There’s a post out there (Rollo maybe?) about the Feminine Social Matrix that provides a pretty good explanation of this whole phenomenon. My wife found it very eye-opening.

  15. Kate

    One weekend evening, I was doing my hair and makeup over and my daughter asked, “Are you and Mark going out on a date?”

    I said, “No. We’re staying in.”

    She said, “Then why are you getting dressed up?”

    I laughed. “Whether I’m going out or staying in, I still like to look nice for my husband. I don’t dress for other people. I dress for him.”

    #RedPillParenting

  16. Tigersault

    @Kate

    My girlfriend would say something similar to the effect of, ” I don’t care how I look for others, I care how I look for you.” I always appreciated that.

  17. Tigersault

    @Kate My now ex-girlfriend was of a similar mind. She would say, when I asked even if we weren’t going out, something to the effect of, “I don’t care how I look for others; I care how I look for you.” That is something that always endeared me to her.

  18. I mean, just like most people, women are complex and have a range of possible (and possibly conflicting) motivations and feelings.

    “What do guys SEE in her anyway?” is the female equivalent of, “That guy is a dick, why do chicks like him?” The speaker knows, internally, but they are railing at the perceived injustice of it.

    And as Maea and Cassie said, there are many reasons to dress well. For most women it’s a mixture of all three. Why is Joe trying to make partner in his firm? Is it to make money, to fulfill his God-given potential, or to get women to be attracted to him? It can be all three, or different ones at different times, etc.

    Overall, good post—mostly because there isn’t really a male equivalent. It feels like the flip side of what the manosphere has pointed out as the automatic sisterhood of all women. The gender that cares about “women’s rights” (do men care about “men’s rights”? largely, no) is bound by that same association into competition with each other. The same institution is behind them both.

  19. Kate

    Sweet 🙂 But why ex?

  20. Tigersault

    I unfortunately wasn’t ready for as serious of a relationship as she wanted.

  21. RE: women dressing for men…

    I suspect that with a few exceptions, such as going out clubbing, women don’t dress up for me so much as a specific man. Remember, most men are “invisible” to them anyways. They probably have someone specific in mind most of the time.

  22. Lost Patrol

    They probably have someone specific in mind most of the time.

    Never thought of that. For women commenters – could that be right? It’s not really any of Maea’s three groups if it’s targeted toward someone specific.

    What a morale boost for a man taking out a woman who has dressed with some other specific man in mind! /sarcasm

  23. @ Lost Patrol

    Never thought of that. For women commenters – could that be right?

    Yes, as long as a woman has a particular man that she wants to please, then she’ll dress for him when she is with him. I had planned on going back and adding that in here and just now got around to doing so.

    For example, the last man I was seeing complimented me when wearing dark blue because he liked how it made my Irish skin stand out. And he had a favorite green dress on me. So I made a point of wearing those often when spending time with him because I wanted to please him. And another man before that liked green on me because it makes my (green) eyes pop, but didn’t like blue on me because he said the blue clashes with my eyes. So I dressed that way for him.

    So if you compliment a woman on something specific like “I love that color / dress / etc on you because _______” (compared to a vague compliment like “you look nice today” which doesn’t tell her what exactly you like about the look), and she wants to please you, then you can bet that she’ll wear it often.

  24. Pingback: Selected Sunday Scriptures- #126 | Donal Graeme

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s