Monthly Archives: July 2015

Guest Post: The Irrational Female

The following is a guest post from reader and comment mdavid. As always with guest posts, they represent the beliefs of the author and not my own. I am hosting it both because I think it has some value, as well as the fact that it should hopefully generate some good discussion. [Yes, this is pretty much the same disclaimer as before.]

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The blog Rational Male explores the psychological ‘why’ of male-female relations. It’s fairly taboo stuff; the author writes under the moniker Rollo Tomassi (the guy who gets away with it). The general theme: helping men understand the indifference of female hypergamy.

 

It’s an exceptional blog. For those detached from today’s sexual marketplace, it resembles an honest, all-guy watercooler discussion about today’s sexual landscape. It’s nearly always thought-provoking. Needless to say, I read Rollo regularly.

 

Rollo recently did a live interview with Goldmund. Below is a transcript of a part I found intriguing. It called to my attention how marriage has become a wholly bimodal institution. The traditionally religious now have completely different marriages than secular versions. This was not the case even 30 years ago. Rollo mused:

 

I think that after 19 years of marriage there is a certain degree of development between the two of you where you know what’s expected of one another. And I also understand that it could all end tomorrow; you know, that’s another thing to keep in mind. Even if you think you have the most unique woman in the world, you think you have the best marriage you ever had, you know there’s a lot of guys in divorce court right now who’ve said exactly the same thing. And I understand that. If you are looking for a woman it’s important, if you want to have a long term relationship you have to keep that in mind. I wrote in the book this chapter called The Pet and how women can go feral on you and if you really, really want to have some sort of an honest relationship with a woman it’s important to accept the fact that she can go feral on you.

 

What I found so intriguing about the above comment was its bland, stoical acceptance that a marriage may simply “blow up” at any time. Note that Rollo’s a smart, experienced guy and no blowhard; I accept what he says as fact for the average American male. Divorce is an ever-present risk, one that looms over a modern man’s marriage.

 

Nevertheless, I cannot personally agree with Rollo’s above quote. Why? It’s simply not true for people of my religious background. I have familiarity with a fair number of traditional people; exactly zero of them have been in divorce court. None seem concerned with spousal abandonment. More than a few are of low SES status and thus more statistically prone to divorce, so it’s not that I travel in elite circles and am ignorant of the proletariat. Divorce is frankly not even a minor concern for traditional religious people.

 

This makes sense. For a traditional religious woman to divorce she must reject her extended family and entire community. She would become alienated from her (likely numerous) children. She would be a public disappointment, an embarrassment to everyone she knows. Women, unlike many men, are sensitive to social pressure, so divorce simply doesn’t happen often in these communities.

 

In Rollo’s interview (which is worth listening to, by the way) he is asked: “What’s the most important trait you as a man can display to prevent [a wife] from going feral?” I was once again dumbfounded at the underlying assumption. Is there really such an outrageous expectation of male performance today? Is it now a man’s purview to prevent his wife from destroying her own marriage? Divorce is certainly not in a woman’s best genetic interest in nearly every case, since her fertility window is tight and modern culture is very K-strategy focused. Single mothers may have raised Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, but they are far more likely to visit their kid in prison than the White House. And they know it.

 

So why do modern women so often go feral? It can’t be traditional female nature; traditional women don’t behave this way at all. Seen many Amish feminists lately? Me neither. My hypothesis: The modern loss of female fidelity is an organic reaction to below replacement birth rates. Modern women intuit they are going extinct* and this triggers a subconscious yet frantic quest for a fruitful mate.

 

I’m inclined to this explanation since it handles the data while avoiding fuzzy psychological, religious, or moral guesswork. For every childless woman in a tribe, it’s a plain fact that another woman must crank out 4.2 children just to break even (only 7% of women of childbearing age are currently doing so). Natural selection would likely evolve a feral response for unfruitful women since empty wombs are a first-order death knell of any culture. Visit Southern California for pointers. Brush up on your Spanish first.

 

Having children is a woman’s primary raison d’être. She either breeds at replacement or vanishes into the dustbin of history. Empty wombs (especially amid the extreme wealth of today) should cause modern women to go feral. Men, however, are not encoded to so panic, having evolved to find meaning and purpose as worker bees for the tribe (e.g. soldiers). This enables their brothers, extended family, and tribe to march on to genomic victory.

 

The battle between the sexes has clearly heated up to epic levels. Men have responded to the challenge of women’s unilateral control of family with a brilliantly effective scorched earth tactic: boycotting the husbanding of children and family while taking sex whenever possible. Subconsciously men believe all is genetically well, since they are having sex and that’s enough for r-strategy survival. For this reason, men’s happiness versus women’s has been increasing over the last decade. What’s not for him to like? Less work, more varied sex options, and no family obligations.

 

Women, undeniably barren, are driven into unhappy desperation. As a final insult, they are expected to work outside the home and can’t help but subconsciously note migrants populating the gaps left by their own lack of children. For most men this culture, while worth enjoying, is certainly not worth fighting for. So they sit poolside, having accepted and even embraced the status quo.

 

*US Census shows 42% of women of childbearing age currently have no children. 22% have two, 17% one, 12% three, and 7% four or more. That means only 1/5 of women today have yet to dodge the ignominy of the Darwin Award. Interestingly, nearly all of the traditional women I know (who eschew divorce, natch) are in that final 7%. Having won the genetic lottery, why go feral? Domesticated animals rarely leave the warm farm if the farmer is feeding and breeding them well.

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Filed under Christianity, Civilization, Femininity, Marriage, Men, Red Pill, Serial Monogamy, Sexual Market Place, Sexual Strategies, Sin, Temptation, Women

Guest Post: 4 Rules And A Guideline

The following is a guest post from a reader who wishes to go by the name “Anon.” As always with guest posts, they represent the beliefs of the author and not my own. I am hosting it both because I think it has some value, as well as the fact that it should hopefully generate some good discussion. [Side note: my hiatus might extend a bit into August as well. Not sure yet, just want to give folks a heads up.]

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Some dating advice from a guy who has very little experience dating girls, and no experience marrying them.

Some comforting lies:

– There’s someone out there for everyone.

– God’s got a plan for you.

– The One is waiting.

Some unpleasant truth:

There are people who have no one out there for them, and you might be one of them.

God does have a plan, but his plan is definitely not your plan, and you may absolutely hate his plan, and it’s quite likely that you getting married to a wonderful woman isn’t part of his plan.

There is no One. There is only the ‘one’ that you picked (or settled for). Marriage will work if the parties involved want it to–romance and fuzzy feels optional.

With this in mind, I suggest to all young Christian men looking for marriage that:

– you cast as wide a net as possible

– next ladies as efficiently as possible

– and pray as much as possible. For some reason God responds to whiners.

To help with nexting useless ladies, I propose an extremely small number of rules.

You should date a girl if:

  1. She passes the boner test. There is no 1-10 scale, only a 0-1 scale. If you think you could get it up for her, she’s hot enough.
  2. She passes the Christian test. And by this I mean only that she’ll self identify as some sort of Christian, regardless of how real you think her faith is.

You should marry a girl you’re dating if:

        3. She passes the virgin test. If you’re more than 95% confident she’s

             a virgin, then that’s good enough.

        4. She passes the age test. This is up to you, what qualifies as

             young enough, but my age test is:

                 a. younger than, or equal to my age AND

                 b. younger than 26.5 years old.

         5. She has some of the good-wife guidelines. These are soft-rules

             that are more or less optional because women can be trained.

             Good wives:

                  a. will follow your lead

                  b. will know how to cook

                  c. will be willing to homeschool your kids

                  d. will maintain their looks

                  e. will do the boring, hard work of being married adults with kids

                  f. won’t emotionally manipulate you more than necessary.

                  g. are sane. (good luck on this one. unicorns exist?)

These rules are built to be as wide as possible, while still maintaining high odds of successful marriages. Notice what is missing from these rules. No personality questions. No movies/music/books/tv tastes questions. No life goals questions. If you’re considering a girl who breaks any of 1-4, you have been warned, your choice has big warning signs. Sometimes you navigate rocky waters just fine, but sometimes you sink and drown, and you only get one shot at marriage.

If your girl doesn’t have any good-wife qualities, then the real question is, can you reasonably do better? The answer is probably no. Get to training her.

The world we live in is harsh and unforgiving, but our God is kind and full of Grace. Life with a sex-partner sounds great, but life with God is the only true life. If you can’t find a wife in this modern world of harlots and fatties, don’t despair or dwell on what is lost, think only of what is gained. Knowing God is the only thing that matters in the long run, and men are supposed to be the ones with low time-preference. Don’t settle for a #^@$% wife, or lots of porn, or other immoralities, but set your sights on drawing near to God, and then bug the &*$@ out of God until he relents and throws a wife at you or gives you eternal joy instead.

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Filed under Christianity, Courtship, Marriage, Red Pill, Women

Parting Thoughts Before The Break

As I mentioned before, I am going to take the month of July off from blogging. Unless something extraordinary happens I won’t resume posting until August. In the meantime I might drop a comment or two here or there, and will try and moderate comments here on the blog (although less frequently than I do now). Before I go, a few things I want to mention.

Free Northerner has a post up about Why Young People Leave the Church. While there is more to it than simply a lack of potential spouses, it is definitely a factor. After all, meeting your spouse in church makes it much more likely you will stay in the church (ties matter). The good news is that some Traditional Catholics seem to “get it.” Typically the younger they are, the more they realize things are broken and the more that they are open to when it comes to fixing it. Sadly, I don’t expect that this will help myself or my generation (save perhaps the youngest Millenials). But hopefully the next generation will have it easier, assuming we can maintain our communities, that is.

Keep your eyes on Europe. The mess in Greece has the potential for a lot of economic trouble far beyond its borders. At this point it is impossible to guess how far everything will spill over. Even more troubling, however, is Russia. I don’t think I’m being melodramatic anymore when I say that war is coming. Putin has put his country on war footing, and is moving Russia into an increasingly aggressive posture. I can’t say where that war will be, whether in Ukraine or the Baltic states, or both or somewhere else entirely. But I don’t think Putin is playing games. Not now. Russia has some serious issues internally, and they have made Putin desperate. Desperate men are dangerous, as they are willing to take risks others wouldn’t. I mention all of this because a conflict over there could find its way over here through various means. Cyber-attacks are a strong possibility and could cause major, major disruptions over here. Shutting down the EBT system for a week, for example, could cause quite a firestorm. Given all this, I would recommend that folks keep their pantries well stocked, and their gas tanks full, just in case. Hopefully nothing comes of it, but you never know.

On another note, the last few months have seen plenty of comments left on this blog which have expressed disagreement (to put it mildly) with the topics I cover, or how I cover them. Many never were approved, but they were there all the same. I just want those who have left them to understand that I am unconvinced, and unimpressed, with their efforts. If what I write offends you, stop reading my blog and go elsewhere. Those of you who are easily offended should consider this a “trigger warning.” When I resume blogging in August I intend to say all kinds of offensive things which will offend your delicate sensibilities.

Finally, since I will be gone for a while, this post will serve as a sort of off-topic post should anyone feel like so using it. Feel free to leave comments or links or carry on all manner of discussions. Any particularly worthy links might be added in updates to this post, should I feel it warranted. Post requests are acceptable, of course. And should anyone have any ideas for guest posts, I will be glad to host them in July while I’m gone. And with that, I am signing off (mostly), for now. I’ll leave the light on for everyone.

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Filed under Red Pill, The Church