Category Archives: Sunshine Mary

A Failure To Communicate

One of the various subjects this blog is devoted to is analyzing and addressing the differences in communication styles and methods between men and women. No easy task, given both the difficulty of the subject matter as well as social conditions. However, it is a critical one as failures to understand how men and women communicate are a major cause of family troubles in the present age- especially among Christians.

For a recent example of a failure to communicate, see this post and its follow-up by Sunshine Mary. They stem from a post by Dalrock, Unhinged. All three posts showcase a serious ignorance of how how men and women communicate. I encourage my readers to look at all three posts, as this post won’t make sense without that- especially Sunshine’s most recent post. In my post I want to focus in particular on that second one, “Is the problem a lack of listening or a lack of submitting?”

The Good Pastor that Sunshine discusses is a man concerned about his wife’s well-being. Perfect? Of course not. No man is. Yet it is clear that he tried to, in his mind, find out what was wrong. To discover what was bothering his wife. Unfortunately, his ignorance of his wife’s nature got in the way of his honorable efforts. Instead of making things better, his efforts to find out what was troubling his wife only made matters worse.

No doubt Pastor Wangerin believed that he was listening to his wife, or at least, willing to listen. Sadly, he wasn’t. Oh, he was listening to what words she said. But he utterly failed to listen to the real message that she was trying to convey. A message conveyed without words. This is a common error that men make- we pay attention to the verbal message and miss all of the other cues that women are sending our way. In many instances, especially when the matter is important, and emotions are involved, the verbal message is less important than non-verbal communication. Sometimes it doesn’t matter at all.

Wangerin’s wife was sending a barrage of messages his way, but he kept on missing them. His wife, of course, couldn’t help but notice that he missed them. To her they were plain as day.  If he was listening to her then he would, of course, understand what she was trying to tell him. So she interpreted this (mostly at an unconscious level) to mean he wasn’t listening! 

Remember, women expect men to Just. Get. It. A real man would just understand what is going on. He wouldn’t need it explained to him. Pastor Wangerin’s continued inquiries only served to remind his wife, again and again, that he didn’t get it. This conveyed to her, at an unconscious level, that he wasn’t a real man. That is the message he conveyed to his wife.

His wife later told him that she felt that he wasn’t prioritizing her enough, among other things. Said other way, she didn’t feel like he was present enough in her life. Fascinatingly enough, this was probably a true charge on her part. She likely did miss his masculine presence in her life. Unfortunately, his inability to understand his wife meant that he acted in such a way as to heighten this absence in her life.

If there is a lesson to be learned here (and I think there is more than one), it is that husbands need to listen to all that their wife says. That means what she says verbally, and what she says non-verbally. Pay more attention to your wife’s behavior and mannerisms so you can pick up those subtle cues. Is this a lot of work? Sure is. But it is part of the duty of headship.

Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.

(1 Peter 3:7)

At the same time, wives need to understand that men do not communicate as they do. They need to keep this in mind, and to alter their own communication style so they can sync up with their husbands. Don’t simply assume that they will “get you.” This means less non-verbal communication, and more straightforward explanation to one’s husband of what is wrong. Both of you will benefit from clear communication between you.

My soul takes pleasure in three things,
    and they are beautiful in the sight of the Lord and of men;
agreement between brothers, friendship between neighbors,
    and a wife and a husband who live in harmony.

(Sirach 25:1)

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Filed under Marriage, Men, Red Pill, Sunshine Mary, Women

Quote of the Day- November 8th, 2013

The quote of the day comes courtesy of Zippy Catholic:

Every man should go deep within himself and get in touch with his feminine side. Then he should strangle the bitch.

His quote may be found in this thread at Sunshine Mary’s blog.

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Filed under Femininity, Masculinity, Men, Red Pill, Sunshine Mary

A Couple of Quick Questions

I am writing a shorter post today, using this opportunity to poll my readers for their thoughts on certain subjects.

“No Rings for Sluts”

My last post, which contained a story worth reading, even if it might not be true, got me thinking about the subject of marriage, the carousel and female premarital sex in general. In the comments of that post a discussion took place about the effects of premarital sex upon that woman’s chances of marrying (and its impact on whom she can marry). There seemed to be a general consensus that the subject of the post, a certain “Eva”, would suffer some consequences but they would probably be tolerable for her. Much of the reason for the minimal consequences would be the fact that for most men, she wouldn’t stand out as a bad marriage prospect. Since very few men have taken the “Red Pill” (I need to take the time think of a new metaphor), most guys will simply miss or underestimate the red flags that popped up all over the place in Eva’s story.

Which got me thinking… what if most men did understand the dangers of a woman like Eva, or a woman who was on the carousel? What would it mean? In some circles there is already a sentiment of “No Rings for Sluts!”, but this is still a minority position. Suppose that this changed, and that the overwhelming majority of men were aware of the risks. Further suppose that because of this, that same overwhelming majority of men refuse to marry a woman who has engaged in premarital sex. Would this change the way that women behave? Would there be a massive shift in female behavior, so that many or most women no longer engage in that kind of conduct? A few bloggers around these parts have advanced such theories before, Sunshine Mary being one of them.

This leads to the first poll, which asks readers to state what they believe the impact on female behavior will be if men will not marry women who engage in premarital sex:

My answer would be that a small minority of women would not engage in premarital sex. It would have a positive effect, but not a very large one. More women, perhaps a larger minority, would initially follow this path but once a tempting opportunity arises they will quickly give it up. After which they will simply stay on the carousel. Of course, those who disagree are free to mention why in the comments.

Unplugging the Carousel

Given that men simply refusing to marry women who engage in premarital sex may not enough to end the carousel as we know it, this invites the question:  What will actually pull the plug on the carousel? Here are a few ideas (one being a repeat from above, for those who disagree with me):

1) The return of social stigmatization of premarital sex (aka, “slut shaming”).

2) Changing our legal structure so that unmarried women (especially those with kids) don’t receive the kind of benefits, protections and opportunity boosts that bring them close to the level of married women.

3) Men, en masse, decide that they will not longer marry women who have engaged in premarital sex (“no rings for sluts”).

So, which of these options would have the greatest effect in terms of bringing the carousel to an end (at least, for most women)?

That ties up this post. Thanks to everyone who participates and comments.

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Filed under Alpha Widow, Marriage, Men, Red Pill, Sex, Sunshine Mary, Women

Dodged a Bullet There

Boy am I glad that I stayed away from Sunshine Mary’s blog today. I haven’t seen this much friendly fire since I took a class of kindergarteners to a paintball park…

P.S. I am going to try and crank out Part 2 of the Market Failure series today.

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Filed under Sunshine Mary

Holy Insurrection Batman!

Joseph of Jackson, a former manosphere commentator who left the ‘sphere a few months back, has returned over at Sunshinemary’s site. In her latest post, Sunshinemary published an e-mail that he sent to her explaining some of what he has been up to. A sample:

Women talk, a LOT. It is their tool of choice for most things. And here we are, as men, using the primary tool of women to try and enact change and we wonder why we can’t get any real traction going.

[Some men] are genuinely surprised that red pill women behave this way. They believed they had found some trustworthy women and the pedestalization phase began all over again. You can see that although they understand alpha traits, and in some cases use them, they are just as prone as any man to falling back into beta thinking. The only true defense we men have against this is a culture that will not tolerate it. If it is considered the respectable thing to do to keep women quiet and in submission then that is what men will do. We don’t have that culture online.

Apparently JoJ built up a group of men that recently joined a church and began reforming the church. I am publishing in full a comment he left at SSM’s site explaining what he did, because it is an amazing story. My own series on reforming the church is put on hold for the time being, because Joseph has already exceeded it with his actions.

Okay, here goes. This actually all started at a different church. I was thrown out of my first one for teaching what I taught. I started in a small group that I had been a part of for a little over a year. I established myself as a leader in the group and slowly (dear god, so slowly) started introducing red pill concepts during our weekly bible study. I made a point to hang out with the guys during the week. We spent time together. I actively flirted with girls in front of them to let them see what was possible. Everything changed one day when I was flirting with our waitress. I asked her for her number. She said she didn’t want to. As she walked away, one of the guys (the actual leader of the small group) was picking at me by saying I had lost my edge. I told him that she actually meant “no, not right now, it’s too public”. He didn’t believe me, so we did what most guys do. We made a bet. If I got her number by the end of dinner, I got to teach about the Bible and girls at our next meeting. If I lost, I had to humiliate myself publicly by standing up in front of everyone and anouncing that all women hate me and run out like I was crying (don’t ask, one of our guys is on bi-polar medication and he thought this would be the best thing to watch ever). I had her number within 2 more passes.

That’s where it all started.

I spent several months introducing them to the concept of game and told them about the class I went to. My small group leader got onto me for placing women before God. I informed him that this helped me actually put God first as women were no longer that important. He was hooked. We were already hanging out every week so while hanging out, I started to get them to approach women. Not to have sex, but just to get past the fear. This continued for several more months. I taught them how to work your way around a room starting with the least attractive girl and working your way up. I taught them how to read social situations and how to take control of a set. I showed them how to get women to actually start chasing them and how to play the part of the bad boy without actually being a bad boy. I taught them how to wing for one another. Soon, we were doing this several nights a week. I made one condition. I would teach them, but we had to have bible study afterwards. So we did. We went from one bible study a week to 4 or 5. No one wanted to miss meeting women, so they all came for bible study. About our 4th month, something interesting happened that I had been waiting on. It happened to me and I knew it was only a matter of time before it worked for them too. They started to come out of the haze. Women weren’t some mystery anymore. We actually felt sorry for the women as we knew they couldn’t control themselves.

That’s when the events occurred when I first started posting at Mary’s blog. I wasn’t prepared for the backlash that would come. These guys were getting much more spiritually mature and the church didn’t care. I was asked to leave. They left with me. My girlfriend left with me. We started doing church at my place on Sunday’s and we started working for a local shelter during the week. Cooking food, doing laundry, cleaning floors. We also spent more time getting to know people. These guys had moved past wanting to pick up women. They had been there and done that. No kino, No sex, No dirty talk, and they were still past it. They now understood not just women, but social dynamics in a group and with individuals. We saw many people get saved because the Holy Spirit used our newfound gifts.

Then one day, another guy in the group had an idea. Let’s go and see if we can turn a church around. I was opposed to the idea at first. Finally, they sold me on it. Individually, we are good with women. As a group, we dominate any social scene we go to. It’s like 10 male lions walk into a female pack of lions. We don’t fight each other, we don’t compete with each other. We are in charge. Place Roosh in my church, one of the best PUA’s around and watch him get tooled by our group. He’s not dealing with one or two guys. He’s dealing with an entire tribe. So we decided as a group to use our skills to reclaim a church that was no longer acting on God’s Word.

The church we chose was the worst of the worst in our area. They actively let women preachers speak. They had a ceremony one week that celebrated the uniting of the nations in which they presented a staff of holly wood (witchcraft) to an indian shaman on stage. They have a women’s counsel that is the equal counterpart to the deacon’s counsel (which is their version of elders). We targeted it tactically.

Our goal was simple, dominate the social scene. Most Churchians are there for the social aspect of church and if you control that, then you control public opinion. We established ourselves in 4 small groups. We would actively team up against male members of the church who were leaders that taught false doctrines. Two man teams were assigned to this, one would be good with scripture and the other would be good at AMOGing. In a few weeks, the deacons were quelled and the women were very happy to see us taking on leadership roles. The entire atmosphere changed. The script that Satan had used to claim this church for himself had been used against him. That’s a high level overview, but it’s a good idea of what’s going on.

What Joseph of Jackson has done is to play the part of an insurgent, and start the process of taking a church over from within. I can’t wait to hear what will happen in the future, because if he is successful it provides an opportunity for many Protestants to begin reforming local churches. Being a Catholic, I can’t adopt his plan for myself, as the organization of that church and the Catholic hierarchy are quite different. But there are still plenty of lessons to be learned here. I have managed to draw a few of them out already (in no particular order):

1) Dominate the social scene- As JoJ noted, most churches today serve as social centers first, and communities of believers second. If you can control the networking behind the social structure of the church, you can influence a lot of what goes on at the church. This can be done behind the scenes, away from any scriptural or doctrinal battles that might be happening Therefore efforts to gain influence here might not elicit the same kind of resistance.

2) Group tactics work- JoJ’s comparison to a pride of male lions attacking in concert has a certain appeal to it. It is so unexpected, so outside the natural order, opponents won’t be able to easily respond.

3) Know your strengths and organize accordingly- Some men have natural charisma, others are great at memorizing and reciting scripture. By utilizing each person’s strengths in the right context, you can overcome any foe.

4) Alpha men control the Church women- Women are drawn to attractive men just as strongly as men are drawn to attractive women, and you can use that, even in church. If you have a group of powerful, confident, charismatic men, those men will be attractive to a lot of women, and be able to exert considerable influence over the same women. Women will do a lot to maintain the good graces of an Alpha male. If Alpha males start demanding that the women of the church act like they should, the women will follow.

It is possible that this will all blow up in JoJ’s face, just like before. But I rather doubt it. Given his success thus far, I suspect that Joseph has succeeded in his insurgency. Even if he and his cohort were to be kicked out, I have no doubt they would be able to take a large chunk of that church with them. Which means that the next takeover should be even easier. It sounds like even if he is successful, he will be working on reforming all of the churches in his locality. The insurgency has only just begun.

In the spirit of the title of this post, I leave all of you with this:

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Filed under Christianity, Churchianity, Feminism, Red Pill, Sunshine Mary, The Church

When Push Comes to Shove

It is my belief that “Feminism” is nothing more than a massive, society-wide fitness test that has spiraled out of control and now threatens to bring civilization down around us.

What is a Fitness Test? It is when a woman pushes against a man to try and see if he will respond in a dominant or commanding manner. It involves a woman making unreasonable or unrealistic demands of a man and expecting that he will cave to her whims. She is testing his masculinity, trying to determine just how much Masculine Power he really has. What makes a Fitness Test truly maddening is that the woman unconsciously wants to fail. She wants the man to push back, or to swat aside her demand. She wants him to succeed, even though she doesn’t realize it. While it may bother her at first, when a man passes the test by refusing to cave into her demands, she will ultimately be happier as a result.

Unfortunately, this behavior has jumped from being something individual women do to something which is practiced on a massive scale. Women push and push and push. They push for more power over men everywhere.

They push for more power over men in universities. Sadly, all too many men are more than willingly to cave in and fail the tests.

They push for more power over men in science fiction and fantasy.

They push for more power by preventing men from enjoying all-male spaces or activities.

They push for more power inside the Church.

 

Well, now people (men and women alike) are starting to push back. This threatens the imperative, naturally. And so the push becomes a shove. Expect to see more visceral responses in the future against anyone who tries to expose what is going on. Women will be loathe to give up their precious feminism, and White Knights will be eager as always to step in and fight on their behalf. Things are going to get ugly.

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Filed under Feminism, Fitness Test, LAMPS, Red Pill, Sunshine Mary

Every Woman’s Fantasy

Dominant sex is every woman’s fantasy. Rape is every woman’s nightmare.

 

The above is a quote from Hannah over at Sunshinemary’s site in her latest post, which covers Ravishment fantasies. I highly recommend reading both the post itself and all the comments, as they are some of the best yet at SSM’s site.

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Filed under Alpha, Red Pill, Sunshine Mary