I.
The purpose of this post is provide a single space where I define the terms that I use across my blog in ways that might be different in meaning from the common understanding. It is meant to serve as a reference in later posts, and as a place to direct inquiries made via comments or e-mail. I will be updating it over time to add more terms and to clarify and flesh out older terms. This will not be a static post. One thing I should make clear is that these are the terms/words as I used them. My commenters and other blogs might use them differently.
I’ve been meaning to write a post like this for a long time now, but never got around to it. A number of my posts, including my recent post “What qualities should a man look for in a wife?” have involved confusion and misunderstanding because readers and commenters didn’t understand what I meant by certain terms. Having a frame of reference would have helped there. Also, Deep Strength’s recent post, “Attraction, desire, chemistry, arousal and marriage” was another major catalyst in finally getting around to it. Keep in mind that he and I agree on a lot when it comes to definitions, but don’t agree on everything.
II.
So, without further ado, here are the terms I would like to define:
Attractive: When I use this word it generally is in reference to sexual attractiveness. An attractive woman is a woman who is sexually attractive to men, and an attractive man is a man who is sexually attractive to women. It does not refer to traits which might be valuable in men or women, but do not affect their sexual attractiveness in any way.
Attractive/Attraction Traits: An attractive trait on someone is a feature that is sexually attractive- it generates sexual attraction in men or women. It is not something that might be desirable because it has positive ramifications, but doesn’t affect how sexually attractive he or she is. An example of an attraction trait is a man or woman’s facial structure- this is something that will affect how sexually attractive a man or woman is.
Attraction: When someone wants someone because he or she is sexually attractive to that person.
Desirable: When I use this word it is generally in reference to reasons to be drawn to a person for non-sexual reasons. It applies to those things someone might want in a man or woman, but do not impact their overall sexual attractiveness. Generally come into play only in long-term relationships. A desirable woman is a woman who has many traits that do not make her sexually attractive but otherwise raise her value as a potential long-term partner. A desirable man is a man who has many traits that do not make him sexually attractive but otherwise raise his value as a potential long-term partner.
Desirable/Desirability traits: Those traits which men or women want in the opposite sex that don’t affect sexual attraction but are otherwise valuable to have. Loyalty is an example of a desirable trait- it doesn’t affect sexual attractiveness but is valuable in a potential long-term partner.
Desire: Refers to when someone wants someone else because he or she finds the other person sexually attractive and because that person has a number of positive traits which them them a good long-term partner. Example- If I desire a woman it means that I find her attractive and she has those traits which I value in a potential wife, so I want to make her mine.
AWALT: All Women Are Like That. Often used in conjunction with a broad statement about female nature. Generally means that nearly all women meet whatever standard or possess whatever behavior is being asserted, so it can be treated as though all women are like that.
NAWALT: Not All Women Are Like That. Often used to reject a statement that claims AWALT or implicates as much. Asserts that there are always outliers and exceptions to general female behaviors and actions.
FI: Refers to the Feminine Imperative.
Feminine Imperative: A concept (to the best of my knowledge) first advanced by blogger Rollo Tomassi at The Rational Male. A somewhat difficult concept to explain, I use it to refer to hardwired human biological conditioning which generally favors abstract female interests over abstract male interests in the social group. The general idea is that the FI manifests itself in those policies and rules which favor women over men, even when those rules/policies are illogical or run counter to other policies or beliefs (such as equality under the law). Unless consciously accounted and compensated for, any system over time will be overtaken by the FI and morph into one that favors women at the expense of men.
EAP: Stands for Entitled American Princess most of the time. Occasionally used to refer to an Evangelical American Princess. Both however are essentially the same thing as I used them, with the latter merely being more specific.
Entitled American Princess: Refers to an American woman (usually unmarried) with a massive entitlement complex who earnestly believes that all men should treat her as a real, live princess. That is, defer to her interests at all times. Such women see the overwhelming majority of men as mere tools to be used.
SMV: Stands for Sexual Market Value
Sexual Market Value: Refers to how sexually attractive someone is in the overall environment that they find themselves in. For women, this tends to be objective- a woman is not more or less attractive depending on how attractive the women near her are. Female SMV is usually rated on a 1-10 scale. Male attractiveness is partially subjective- how attractive a man is can be impacted by how attractive the other men in the environment (“market”) are.
SMP: Stands for Sexual Marketplace.
Sexual Marketplace: Refers to the overall “dating” scene between men and women in which both sexes compete with their own sex for the attentions/affections of the opposite sex. Recognizes that attractiveness is the primary driving force in the overall “value” someone has in this system. The primary purposes of this environment, this “market” is sex and sexual gratification, and not long-term relationships or marriage.
MMV: Stands for Marriage Market Value.
Marriage Market Value: Refers to the overall “value” someone has when looking for a potential spouse in the overall environment that they find themselves in. Tends to be correlated with, but not necessarily match, SMV. MMV is a mix of objective factors, such as loyalty, and subjective factors, such as overall place in the job market. Both attraction and desirability traits determine MMV.
MMP: Stands for Marriage Marketplace.
Marriage Marketplace: Refers to overall collection of people seeking marriage in the present environment. At the moment the Sexual Marketplace is dominant, and thus the Marriage Marketplace is forced to operate within it. This creates a great many problems. Based on the understanding that some men and women make (or would make) better husbands or wives, and that men and women therefore compete with one another to get the best possible spouse.
Hypergamy: Refers to the female reproductive impulse which drives female behavior more than anything else. As used here, hypergamy is the female inclination to seek out the highest value (that is the most attractive) man available and to attempt to secure that male as a mate. Essentially, women are driven to have the best when it comes to men. If a better man comes along, they will want him instead. If a woman feels that she can do better than her present man, it will greatly reduce her attraction to him and her relationship with him may die. Hypergamy doesn’t care- it doesn’t care what a man has done in the past for a woman, it doesn’t care what promises she might have made or what oaths she might have sworn and it doesn’t care who might be hurt so long as it gets its way. However, women are not robots- they can overcame their hypergamous instincts and not be ruled by them… if they chose to.
Churchianity: Refers to a perverted, corrupted form of Christianity which is no longer consistent with basic Christian teaching and doctrine. Does not refer to sectarian splits, or arguments between faith traditions (i.e., Catholic v. Orthodox v. Protestant). Churchianity is heavily infected by modernism/liberalism, and would be unrecognizable to early Christians as representing the Christian faith. In many respects Churchianity is what happens when people attempt to reconcile their worldly views with Christianity. Rather than conforming to God, they conform to the world, and “adjust” their religious beliefs so that their faith is compatible with their worldly beliefs.
Churchian: Someone who practices Churchianity. A churchian is of the world, and not of God. Someone who does not accept that their faith requires rejecting the world and embracing the persecution which results from it.
Donal Graeme 
Mostly good definitions.
On hypergamy, it can be easy to let it slide into a kind of belief that women are robots, enslaved to their hypergamous sexuality. Of course, that’s not true — women can choose to be loyal and so on, regardless of impulse. The issue, however, is that the memes in the current culture all run the other way — that is, they all more or less explicitly endorse and encourage women to act out on their hypergamy, and so this makes it much harder for women — Christian or not — to keep it in check. That is why, in this environment, so much emphasis is placed in the ‘sphere on men remaining a woman’s best option — because we have to assume that in this environment, which basically screams at women 24/7 to act out on their hypergamy, even the best-intended woman is a huge risk in terms of acting out on her hypergamy and blowing up a relationship or marriage. It isn’t because women are hypergo-bots, but because the culture (including in the churches) encourages women to act out on this impulse, which makes it incredibly hard for women to withstand the temptation to do so.
Nova, …in this environment, which basically screams at women 24/7 to act out on their hypergamy, even the best-intended woman is a huge risk in terms of acting out on her hypergamy and blowing up a relationship or marriage. It isn’t because women are hypergo-bots, but because the culture (including in the churches) encourages women to act out on this impulse
Great comment Nova. The most effective way to avoid this problem is to pull out of mainstream society:
a) kill all push media (tv, radio) and select/limit pull media (movies, blogs)
b) become traditionally religious and maintain those social contacts
c) cut off liberal family/friends
d) record all spending as a family
e) homeschool
Most of the behavior of women is herd-driven. It’s just how they are; give them the right herd and proper male headship a wife is a serious asset. Without? Brace yourself.
The most effective way to avoid this problem is to pull out of mainstream society:
a) kill all push media (tv, radio) and select/limit pull media (movies, blogs)
b) become traditionally religious and maintain those social contacts
c) cut off liberal family/friends
d) record all spending as a family
e) homeschool
Most of the behavior of women is herd-driven. It’s just how they are; give them the right herd and proper male headship a wife is a serious asset. Without? Brace yourself.
Pretty much agree. My son is not home-schooled, but that’s under his mother’s control at this point. I do the best I can with that parameter. The rest of what you wrote I do follow, however. The only TV I watch is sporting events (mostly college football for alma mater and rivals) and live news like election results, wars and so on. Otherwise, yep, you need to cut off the mainstream because the mainstream is poison right now.
Feminine Imperative: …I use it to refer to hardwired human biological conditioning which generally favors abstract female interests over abstract male interests in the social group. The general idea is that the FI manifests itself in those policies and rules which favor women over men, even when those rules/policies are illogical or run counter to other policies or beliefs (such as equality under the law). Unless consciously accounted and compensated for, any system over time will be overtaken by the FI and morph into one that favors women at the expense of men.
The FI always swims left?
@ Novaseeker
Yes, good point about women not being robots. Will incorporate that into this post. I anticipate this being a long term project, because tweaking these terms and definitions is almost always possible, and can often be for the better.
@ NSR
Not necessarily. There are “rightist” versions of feminism- which a (although not the only) natural outgrowth of the FI- as well. Just look at Evangelical or Christo-feminism.
But overall I do tend to think the at the FI does push society in a direction that we would understand as Left/Leftist.
NAWALT is always implied in discussions of female behavior and conduct in the ‘sphere. It’s more useful to talk of generalizations in female behavior, because those generalizations have been observed by many hundreds of people over thousands of incidents over a long period of time. It’s not useful or helpful to men or women to talk about outliers and exceptions. But exceptions and outliers are recognized; hence, NAWALT.
“Most of the behavior of women is herd-driven. It’s just how they are; give them the right herd and proper male headship a wife is a serious asset.”
What an asinine statement. Women, being made in the image and likeness of God, have all the faculties of personhood. Reason, intellect and will. They don’t follow the herd as if they only operate as an animal by instinct. They are not impervious to cooperating with God’s grace even if exposed to the things of this world. They choose which path to follow by their God-given faculties. They are not lead blindly.
“On hypergamy, it can be easy to let it slide into a kind of belief that women are robots, enslaved to their hypergamous sexuality. Of course, that’s not true — women can choose to be loyal and so on, regardless of impulse.”
Let’s see. There are women that are aware of the existence of hypergamy (or more precisely, hypergyny). Among these women there are those willing to regulate their own. And among this group there are those who actually can do so. In other words, you’re talking about a minority within a minority within a minority.
@ Mrs. I would like to tweak your comment slight to make it accurate. Additions/changes are in italics.
“Women, being made in the image and likeness of God, have all the faculties of personhood. Reason, intellect and will. They don’t have to follow the herd as if they only operate as an animal by instinct. They are not impervious to cooperating with God’s grace even if exposed to the things of this world. They canchoose which path to follow by their God-given faculties. They are not necessarily lead blindly.”
Many women these days (and many men) do not use those faculties of person hood. They will follow the herd. They will operate almost as by instinct. It does not have to be this way, but it is. Women are more susceptible to communal consciousness or herd behavior or whatever you want to call it, but we all have that pull. It is just that because women are so vulnerable more protections are needed than for men(and yes, there is scriptural support for this, see Ecclesiastes 7).
This is why the rearing and raising of children is so important- so they can exercise all those faculties God gave them.
Most people follow the herd; they always have. The problem these days is with the shepherds. And there is a greater problem with women, as they are the ones being deliberately misled.
Augustina, men are being deliberately misled as well. I know because I was one of them. I’m still having to unlearn some of the deceit packed into my mind over the course of decades.
DG,
I really don’t see how the tweaking you did made it any more accurate. I stand by what I wrote as written.
The reason the original statement I commented on is asinine is that it simply isn’t true that “most of women’s behavior is herd driven.”
While there is a phenomenon that during panic situations or where the correct thing to do is ambiguous, people may follow what the majority are doing, this does not reflect everyday normative behavior and is certainly not the primary mode of operation for women as a gender.
Women have only a slightly higher tendency to cave to social pressure due to a desire to people please. However, this tendency is greatly modified when a person has a firmly held belief and feels sure in their convictions.
Any person, man or woman, will be more likely to follow the crowd when they lack a properly informed conscience, when they haven’t made a firm decision on following a specific code of morals or a particular religious belief.
Yes, mothers and fathers exercise reason, intellect and will in the rearing of their children and that is why it is important to for them to have a proper and thorough education themselves. It is indeed a high calling.
Oh, I also wanted to add that the caving to social pressure is also more likely for people when they are young. The acquisition of wisdom as a person ages leads to a decline in this as well.
Pingback: Reality Versus Reason | Donal Graeme
Pingback: Q & A | Donal Graeme
Pingback: Psychological Impact on Children (from Frozen) | Σ Frame