Random Musings and Links- #8

Been preoccupied lately, and so blogging has slacked. Here are some links and thoughts in the interim.

Deep Strength has had several good posts lately. One is a story about a Real Life Ruth. The second discusses how to approach the topic of attraction with Christians. Principally how to explain the subject to Christian men who are “Blue Pill.”

Ace of Spades returns for two short but important posts. The first deals with when to speak and when not to speak on the internet. The second concerns how a man should act when he no longer trusts his woman.

Mrs. ktc talks about NFP gone horribly wrong.

Zippy talks about Whitewashing and “pastoral mercy.”

Dalrock points out, once again, that divorce is meant to provide Cash and Prizes to women.

Free Northerner discusses “Virtue Signalling.” Not sure I exactly agree with his view, but it is an interesting discussion all the same.

Cane Caldo continues to shred the “Pro-Life” movement.

Now for some random musing…

I was thinking recently about how I would react if someone tried to match me a
“reformed bad girl.” It’s been a while, and I don’t remember how I reacted last time. So I am curious how my readers in a position similar to mine would react. And by react, I mean what would you think/feel, and also what would you say or do in response? Would the person conducting the match-making make a difference in your response?

In addition, I was struck by how easily men will lap up the rather consistent lie that women are “taken advantage of” by unscrupulous men all the time. Why do we soak up this lie so easily? Is this some cultural thing? A genetic component of being a man? I’m curious, because it is so obviously ridiculous when you actually confront the lie. Yet we do it all the time. I am curious what my readers think.

 

 

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17 Comments

Filed under Attraction, Blue Pill, Christianity, Desire, Men, Moral Agency, Red Pill, Sexual Market Place, Women

17 responses to “Random Musings and Links- #8

  1. I think both are protection instincts gone haywire. Also known as White Knight syndrome. We want to Protect so much that we deprive women of free will and its consequences. It all goes haywire because most men do not want to hurt womens’ feelings.

    What we need to do to educate men is that the duty of men is first for the care of those under their authority. Then also for Christians to conform to Christ. Obedience over feelings.

  2. Pingback: Random Musings and Links- #8 – Manosphere.org

  3. I’ve grown to be more skeptical of what women say, and more so when it involves a tale I hear from one side — hers. Most of the time, these stories can be exaggerated due to the emotional need to rant or simply, women’s propensity to project. Again, love is not about protecting them from the truth but showing them or exposing the truth from the lie.

  4. feeriker

    In addition, I was struck by how easily men will lap up the rather consistent lie that women are “taken advantage of” by unscrupulous men all the time. Why do we soak up this lie so easily? Is this some cultural thing? A genetic component of being a man? I’m curious, because it is so obviously ridiculous when you actually confront the lie. Yet we do it all the time. I am curious what my readers think.

    If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it’s a vestigial reaction among men brought up in “traditional” homes where it was simply expected that society adhered to certain moral codes. Among these were the expectation that women behaved with a reasonable degree of modesty and that men, in turn, would respect this. Those men who didn’t were cads, boors, and reprobates unfit for decent female companionship.

    Although I’m part of the late boomer generation, even I remember in my younger (pre-teen) years that most of society, even during the turbulent advent of the 60s/Sexual Revolution/2WF onset still behaved with relative restraint, so these traditional expectations were still quite reasonable.

    By 1980, however, everything began to change, rapidly. Within a decade, what was started in 1968 entered its final phase of metastasis. By the dawn of the new millennium, the traditional standards of behavior were dead and buried. Unfortunately, men raised to respect the modesty traditionally expected of women and also indoctrinated to defend it were “hard programmed” and couldn’t easily adapt to the new reality, Also, many, having been raised in Christian homes, weren’t ready to surrender to the culture – even though the culture had already destroyed the society they had been trained to revere and respect. This explains why those of us whose parents are from the “Silent Generation” have given up trying to explain today’s reality. If they were to admit to the truth, they would have admit to themselves that they have not only been living and believing a lie themselves for eight-plus decades, but that they’ve passed the lie on to their children. The psyche simply cannot absorb such a shock. This is why many men who had what passes for “traditional Christian” childhoods and adolescences cannot accept the reality of today’s FI. Not only would it be admitting to having been raised to believe a lie, it would require admitting to what is essentially a hopeless situation where female morality is concerned. Whiteknighting becomes an automatic, defensive form of self-preservational denial.

  5. Michael Kozaki

    Now that was a great crop of links. DS’s stood out for me here:

    To quote him 3 months into the relationship: [Words] don’t even come close to describing this absolutely amazing, talented, hard-working, beautiful, and servant-hearted woman! I am beyond blessed to have this gem walk along side me in this life and honestly can’t thank God enough….Sounds like a man with an amazing future helpmeet.

    You know, I can objectively say I did very well in marriage. But my word…I’ve never had the above fantasy about ANY woman. She don’t exist. This dude’s awakening will be hard. Sure, love is blind and he’s young, but this is a bad deal. He’s putting his relationship and any future family at risk.

    Nothing can compare to a relationship based on Biblical principles, and also with a woman is very interested in you. It’s night and day.”

    The bible makes for an interesting marriage guide if one of them ever learns their bible. I remember how Hahn’s wife discovered birth control was a sin from bible studies in her second year conservative evangelical seminary. But she learned only after she was married Whoops!

    feeriker, By the dawn of the new millennium, the traditional standards of behavior were dead and buried. Unfortunately, men raised to respect the modesty traditionally expected of women and also indoctrinated to defend it were “hard programmed” and couldn’t easily adapt to the new reality

    This is a good comment. But dated. Traditional Christians today are fully counter-cultural or utter fools who deserve what they get. In your generation, they were still playing games with the culture because it wasn’t that bad. I don’t know anyone assuming that these days, they would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb.

  6. anonymous_ng

    “In addition, I was struck by how easily men will lap up the rather consistent lie that women are “taken advantage of” by unscrupulous men all the time. Why do we soak up this lie so easily? Is this some cultural thing? A genetic component of being a man? I’m curious, because it is so obviously ridiculous when you actually confront the lie. Yet we do it all the time. I am curious what my readers think.”

    We?

    I probably once thought that way, but can’t actually remember doing so. Now, it’s positively laughable.

  7. Novaseeker

    I think men have a tendency to think poorly of other men due to the inherent competitiveness we have with each other as a sex. We’re sort of always looking for weakness in other men, and are more than willing to believe that most men are behaving badly in some way. This competitiveness is at its sharpest when there are women in the equation (after all, this is the core of the competition itself), and so the effect is amplified in that context as well.

    On the reformed bad girl, the issue is that she’s probably conventionally attractive, so you have to have the discipline to overcome those conventional attraction triggers and remember your principles first and foremost. Lots of guys struggle with that, even Christian ones who have principles, which is why quite a few of them end up marrying baby-mommas. Baby-momma is, in many cases, conventionally attractive, and perhaps the most conventionally attractive woman who has ever shown an interest in the guy (or perhaps the first in a while), so that’s the core of the risk there.

  8. @ Michael

    You know, I can objectively say I did very well in marriage. But my word…I’ve never had the above fantasy about ANY woman. She don’t exist. This dude’s awakening will be hard. Sure, love is blind and he’s young, but this is a bad deal. He’s putting his relationship and any future family at risk.

    Good point. It’s possible that he could be going a bit far given the prior story. I’ll keep an eye out for that.

  9. Michael Kozaki

    Cane, Pro-Lifers[1] tic neurotically about doing what is politically expedient. Namely, if a woman is heading into an abortion clinic then you shouldn’t warn her that she is about to solicit murder, or plead with her to reconsider the murder of her baby. They’ll tell you, if you do that, what will happen is that the woman

    I’m friends with a woman who does sidewalk counseling weekly. I’ve done it myself. Cursed at, yelled at, screamed at. Very, very few people will do this dirty work regularly. Yet this is “neurotically politically expedient”? WTF.
    Know what is “expedient”? Bashing people’s tactics who actually DO the dirty work while writing blog posts from the safety of home.

    Also, one can’t say for sure a woman is “murdering” her baby, because some don’t think an unborn baby is “alive” yet and murder (by definition) requires full knowledge of what you are doing. Clearly women who darken the abortion door are none too bright (or they wouldn’t be there). So I always assume the best. One gets more flies with honey, and many women, when approached right, can change their mind. Telling them they are a murderer is probably not gonna work well. But I think like somebody actually doing something, not some blogger mocking others for not being pure enough.

    DG, So I am curious how my readers in a position similar to mine would think/feel/respond if matched with a “reformed bad girl”. Would the person conducting the match-making make a difference in your response?

    How I would react: Well, I believe everything happens for a reason, and assume it’s in my favor. So I would just toss her some Skittles and use the opportunity to expand my social network. I might learn something, or her sister might be a catch. Who knows? I would think the match-maker. It’s all good.

    In addition, I was struck by how easily men will lap up the rather consistent lie that women are “taken advantage of” by unscrupulous men all the time. Why do we soak up this lie so easily? Is this some cultural thing? A genetic component of being a man?

    Well, it’s clearly a cultural thing (not genetic to maleness) since many cultures have no problem smacking women into place. But the tendency to supplicate to women may have some genetic component bred into the gene pool after 2,000 years of Christian European culture.

  10. DJ

    “Why do we soak up this lie so easily? Is this some cultural thing? A genetic component of being a man? I’m curious, because it is so obviously ridiculous when you actually confront the lie. ”
    Pretty simple actually. The desire to save the fair damsel, makes it easy to believe the damsel is fair and not the author of her own troubles, or the dragon in disguise. Its the romantic idealistic part that makes it plausible.

  11. @ Novaseeker

    I think we are on different pages here.

    My response would not be along the lines of “resisting temptation” or the like. Such a package has zero appeal to me. Rather, my response is directed towards the person who tried to match me up with an unsuitable person.

    For example:

    With most of my family, I wouldn’t be surprised. I would be a bit annoyed but otherwise brush it off. Sadly, I don’t expect much from them.

    With people I know well at church, however, I might well feel insulted. And a bit hurt, too- they know me and to think that I would want such a person as a spouse would rub me the wrong way. Which I guess is a way of saying I would expect better from them.

  12. I also had the same reaction that Michael did to DS’s friend. However, I also has an additional reaction: amusement. Prot speak can be quick fascinating and absurd at times. Especially the modern Evangelical lingo.

  13. @ DJ

    Very good point. Men do have that instinctive desire to save the damsel in distress.

  14. Novaseeker

    Donal —

    OK, understood.

    I guess I would say that I wouldn’t necessarily hold it against the recommenders — they are subject to the same overall culture and memes and think they are doing the right thing. They aren’t intentionally trying to harm, although they are misguided. I doubt it would be a judgment about you — they rather think they are trying to help both people, although in a misguided way.

  15. @ Novaseeker,

    Yes, they are caught up in the culture. At least, my family is. I wouldn’t expect any different from them. But I would hope that most folks at my traditional parish would be better. I wouldn’t hold it against them, although I would have to fight a bit against my lesser self in the process.

  16. Scott

    Feeriker at 3:55pm has laid down the basic framework for what I think happened.

    Well done.

  17. @Michael Kozaki

    You have failed to grasp the facts, the context, the logic, and the definitions. Poorly done.

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