Exposure to the “Red Pill” can have a variety of emotional consequences for men- some short term, and some long term.
At first it is usually a slew of negative emotions, including but not limited to: anger, sadness, disgust and despair. Pretty much every one of my male readers, with an exception or two, will be familiar with this.
For some men those emotions will subside over time, and in time the “Red Pill” can pave the way for positive emotions. Sometimes this is because of the knowledge and understanding acquired. Other times it is because men use that knowledge to try and improve their life somehow. And for others it is simply a process of matured acceptance of the way things are.
However, for a not insubstantial number of men there will be some lingering negative emotions. Sometimes the result is truly ugly- I am sure all of us have seen a man who couldn’t handle the truth, and became an emotional wreck as a result. However, not everyone tailspins like that. Sometimes those lingering emotions are flickers most of the time, with the occasional flare-up.
That has been me at times. While I am better now, I recognize that it is very easy, if you aren’t careful, to let negative emotions and thought processes take over. It hasn’t been good for me and won’t be good for any man. Dark Jedi can talk all they want about how anger and hate give you strength, but the truth is that it is a temporary strength. And in the long run, especially with the latter emotion, it will consume you and weaken you.
All of which is my long-winded way of advising my male readers that it isn’t worth it to hold onto these negative emotions. Furthermore, women aren’t worth becoming permanently hateful or angry or bitter or anything of the like. If you want to guarantee that they will ruin your life than there are few better ways than for them to dictate, albeit indirectly, your emotions.
I understand how difficult what I am saying is to actually achieve. Trust me when I say it is awfully easy to hold women en masse in contempt. It is really easy to despise your family and elders who let you down in life- sometimes massively. But it just isn’t worth it. Especially when you consider the long term consequences to your soul.
Gentleman, don’t let them drag you down to hell. They really, truly aren’t worth it. If you believe that many are destined to end that way, all the more reason to not join them. Seek peace in your life- you won’t find it otherwise. Letting negative emotions ( or emotions in general, but that is a matter for another time) guide your life is a sure-fire way of damning yourself. And if that happens, guess what? They win. Don’t let them win.
16 responses to “Not Worth It”
This is part of the reason why MGTOW isn’t such a bad way to go. Letting those emotions go, adopting a ZFG (zero f***s given) attitude, improving yourself, becoming more successful, and preserving chastity for if/when you find a woman worth marrying is turning into one of the more productive paths to take. Sure, the more vocal ones haven’t done the above and let their hatred flow on YouTube, but for every one of them there are a hundred of us out there just living our lives.
I’ve prayed that the Lord might give me a wife and a lot of children, but I’ve come to accept that He may very well say no and I will serve Him in singleness. Either way the path forward leads towards holiness, love and service towards others, and helping raise children to follow Christ (either my own directly or being an influence in the lives of nieces, nephews, cousins, and at Church).
This is very true.
One of the best ways to avoid this, of course, is to actually meet and be with a good woman. That helps put the problematic system in perspective, and helps to refocus things on the positive and away from the negative.
“At first it is usually a slew of negative emotions, including but not limited to: anger, sadness, disgust and despair. Pretty much every one of my male readers, with an exception or two, will be familiar with this.”
After first being exposed to it, I was extremely cynical of women and marriage. I despaired shortly thereafter. There was also an anger in being lied to, as I discovered virtually all conventional advice about women was a lie.
“For some men those emotions will subside over time, and in time the “Red Pill” can pave the way for positive emotions. Sometimes this is because of the knowledge and understanding acquired. Other times it is because men use that knowledge to try and improve their life somehow. And for others it is simply a process of matured acceptance of the way things are.”
After the initial anger and cynicism, I felt extremely lucky, learning what to actually look for and (more importantly) do. My entire view shifted and I felt sorry for men I was close to in my life either a) not wanting to hear me out or b) grasping for straws in the dark towards women.
“While I am better now, I recognize that it is very easy, if you aren’t careful, to let negative emotions and thought processes take over.”
Don’t exceed the recommended dosage of the Red Pill. Adverse side effects will result.
“It is really easy to despise your family and elders who let you down in life- sometimes massively. ”
For those of you that feel this way about your family and elders, keep this in mind: they did the best they could for you with what they had. Had such technology been around when they were in their formative years or just starting out, it’s almost guaranteed they’d have shared the knowledge we take for granted with you.
“Sure, the more vocal ones haven’t done the above and let their hatred flow on YouTube, but for every one of them there are a hundred of us out there just living our lives.”
@cynicinchief Right. It’s easier to complain than talk about how great life is.
“One of the best ways to avoid this, of course, is to actually meet and be with a good woman.”
@Novaseeker I can’t recommend that enough.
Wrote about this in this week’s post:
This surprises me. You seem balanced & level-headed re: females, to me.
I’ve never had an issue with women being unreliable outside of a structured culture or community. Much as men are unreliable in a room full of naked women and free beer; I don’t hold it against either sex. It’s just part of being a woman or a man.
This is a bit tricky. I think it critical to despise the ideas of family and elders on serious sexual issues (say feminism or sexual issues) and those who cross this line should just be cut off without regret. There has to be a line somewhere, and mine is pretty tight. Getting sexual issues wrong is, to me, like using crack, and life is too short to argue. We just go our own way and never look back.
I have to admit that I flip from anger to sadness to “Where do we go from here?” a lot. For all the the knowledge, I still have a biological imperative and we are social animals.
You summed up my trip fairly accurately. It’s worth bearing in mind that “emotions” is the permanent operating platform of women, not men. You need them to an extent, they can get the better of you for periods of time, but you should view it as foreordained that you can master them. As a man you do it all the time. It’s how you have so many accomplishments already. And there is substantial upside in Exposure to the “Red Pill”.
This Red Pill awareness of which you speak is actually more boon than burden. Once the emotion subsides or is put aside, you can take advantage of the knowledge in myriad ways personally and professionally as noted in the OP. Then you can make like St. Paul and forgetting what lies behind, reach forward to what lies ahead.
With some frequency, I hear people opine that we shouldn’t hate this or that. Implicit in these statements seems to be the idea that in order to disagree with people, in order to draw boundaries and to take action, we must hate first.
I don’t have to hate the attacker before I shoot him in the face.
Neither do I have to hate women to protect myself from them.
With all due respect, I disagree. I don’t think this is a technology issue. The problem here is willful ignorance. Most of what is discussed here used to be common knowledge in the past. It was passed on in an age before TV or computers or any form of electronic communication. Its loss was not due to technological incapacity, but a rot within the culture that wanted to stamp it out. I am by no means convinced that many of our elders would have been eager to spread it in defiance of the general culture around them. Would some have? Surely. But look at how many reject the RP as it is. I think you give them too much credit.
Whatever source of disagreements, I respect your efforts to try and encourage men towards positives responses to the RP.
I don’t post everything I think or feel. And being an INTJ, brooding comes naturally to me. Unless I succeed at what Novaseeker suggests, I dare say I will have to struggle with it until I die.
And you are correct that it is important to distinguish ideas from people.
Agreed. I am encouraging men towards the latter, without feeling it necessary to dabble in the former. IMO the former can get in the way of the latter. Emotions blind reason, after all. And protecting yourself in this day and age requires a lot of careful thought.
I want to second the basic gist of this post, Take heart, single men. If I could, I would take you all in and help every one of you find what you want–be that a wife, or contentment with singleness. My generation and the one before it has let you down tremendously.
I went through the “anger” phase, and as my wife has described it, I then “dragged her kicking and screaming across the red-pill threshold.”
Come by American Dad any time, suggest topics, suggest dads for being featured. It is a place for dads (and men in general).
My generation and the one before it has let you down tremendously.
There is blame to share across generations going much farther back than our own (Gen-X and Baby Boomer). The seeds of this travesty were sown long before any of our parents were born. The important thing, however, is that we are awakening to the truth and taking concrete steps to reverse the damage and heal the wounds. May this continue and gain strength in the process.
feeriker, that’s a great comment.
I use my INTJ brooding to fuel aggressive achievement. I like that “J” part! So I say: bring it on. Sidenote: funny how INTJ’s gravitate on blogs.
I think this method of avoidance…unwise. Men lead, women follow. Or: Men are transcendent, women immanent. Or: men create culture, women just live in it. Or: men recruit, women join. Or: men are a rock in the storm, women are mercurial. Or: never rely on any woman (ok, maybe the Blessed Mother) for one’s emotional or mental state. That’s building a house on quicksand.
The problem a lot of us have, or at least one that I have, is what comes after the anger phase. I went through this several years ago after coming to the understanding available via the red pill, and did go through the anger phase described above. The problem I have is — what comes next?
I’ll use a fishing analogy. The red pill and the awareness it brings allows you to catch all kinds of fish with ease. What I am finding in the dating landscape of America is that they’re all inedible. Thanks to all the various manosphere writers, you can drag all kinds of fish into the boat. The problem is that, upon closer inspection, you have to throw them all back. How does that help you eat?
I have no problems getting fish into the boat. Hell I have married fish nibbling at the bait, single fish, fat fish, skinny fish, young fish and old fish, but they’re all uniformly defective as potential wives and mothers. At some point you start to think that maybe the fishing technique doesn’t really matter — if the water is polluted, what difference does it make?
What good is all the knowledge, when the practical application proves futile? I like rolling around in the hay as much as the next guy, but after a while, I’m left with the realization that a wife and children are probably not possible. Anyone can bag and bang sluts after a while of figuring out the principles, and Game certainly does work. But what if there aren’t any women worth running it on?
I don’t know. Cynicinchief above has a good attitude, and I likewise have prayed for a wife and children, but I’m starting to get that for me, and millions like me, the answer might just be no. I am having a hard time accepting that. I realize that God’s will is more important than my own, yet I am as God made me, and I have no interest in celibacy or an ascetic lifestyle. Perhaps praying for acceptance of God’s will really is the answer.
Law: If all the fish in the stream are sick, it’s clearly not the fish. It’s the stream. Fish elsewhere. God helps those who act.
1) I just saw a couple at mass married last year; she was (still) a nice blond and (still) wearing a veil, but now pregnant. Both very religious.
2) Saw a half-dozen veiled girls at same mass. Stream, not fish.
3) Just got a card from a couple married five years ago; foreign bride. Attractive, humble, great cook, religious. Happy, on second kid.
4) Going to a NewYr party with another two guys, both married overseas long ago. Wives still thin, attractive, religious. Stream, not fish.
Look, people raised in the inner-city think a life of drugs and violence is normal. And yes, it’s very hard to get out if born into it. But simple logic tells us that all women, everywhere, can’t all be bad. Remember, the only constant in a person’s dating life is themselves.
To MK’s point, I had a friend call me from Krakow saying that I should come for a visit, that the women were all beautiful, family oriented, and devoutly Catholic.
YMMV, but that was his observation.
Religious Catholic foreign women are an under-appreciated asset. The religion unifies the cultural differences, and American men have high status esp. if willing to have a large family and/or are well-off. Also, RC women tend to be fairly healthy on sex and family issues, unlike many prots.
Foreign brides have a bad rap among the manosphere. Why? 1) men don’t make a point to select highly-religious RC women, and 2) most aren’t traditional religious themselves. They forget it’s buyer beware. And of course, like attracts like.