If you are a young man in the West right now, I don’t envy you. The culture is at best apathetic to your existence, and at worst downright hostile. And if you are a young man who wants to marry in this day and age, well then… you are truly up #$^ creek without a paddle. Lets cut to the chase here. Young women these days are, for the most part, awful.
Their attitudes? Unbearable.
Their behavior? Often unmentionable.
Their desire for marriage? Low.
Their capacity to honor their word? Most non-existent.
And on and on.
Good women who want to marry are few and far between, and their aren’t nearly enough of them to go around. This means that many young men who want to marry will have to choose one of these two options:
- Refuse to marry because no worthy women are available
- Lower their standards in order to marry
This is a difficult choice to make, and nothing I can say will make it any less difficult. I sympathize with those going through this. How could I not, as I am going through it myself? As a matter of recommendation I would suggest the first course of action, but I won’t belittle a man who chooses the second.
At the same time, a man who makes that decision shouldn’t ever feel pressured into doing it. Which brings me to the point of this post:
Men, you are never obligated to buy damaged goods.
No matter what someone tells you, no matter how much they encourage or pressure or cajole you, you do not have a duty to make a woman “honest” by marrying her.
It is not now, and it never will be, your job to rescue a woman from her past mistakes.
When you marry someone you are basically intertwining them with pretty much every thread of your life. The consequences can’t be overstated. So you owe it to yourself, not to mention the people who rely on you, to marry well.
If you choose to lower your standards on your own, that’s fine. But don’t let anyone tell you that you have to do it. Or that you are a wicked person if you don’t. This goes especially for Christian men.
Don’t let Churchian leaders try and guilt you into marrying a low value. They don’t have your best interests at heart. They either are beholden to women and serve them, not God, or they merely see you as a janitor whose job is to clean up the trash. If they make you feel unwelcome if you resist, then find a new church.
Don’t let people use words like charity or forgiveness to try and trip you up. Remember, marriage is about building a relationship with another person and God, about bringing children into the world and raising them right, and it is about you and your wife getting to heaven. Marrying poorly will help you in none of these.
So refuse to be steamrolled into marrying poorly. Marriage affects everything about you, including your soul. Marry wisely, and marry under your own direction, not that of others.
19 My child, keep sound the bloom of your youth,
and do not give your strength to strangers.
20 Seek a fertile field within the whole plain,
and sow it with your own seed, trusting in your fine stock.
21 So your offspring will prosper,
and, having confidence in their good descent, will grow great.
22 A prostitute is regarded as spittle,
and a married woman as a tower of death to her lovers.
23 A godless wife is given as a portion to a lawless man,
but a pious wife is given to the man who fears the Lord.
24 A shameless woman constantly acts disgracefully,
but a modest daughter will even be embarrassed before her husband.
25 A headstrong wife is regarded as a dog,
but one who has a sense of shame will fear the Lord.
26 A wife honoring her husband will seem wise to all,
but if she dishonors him in her pride she will be known to all as ungodly.
Happy is the husband of a good wife;
for the number of his years will be doubled.
27 A loud-voiced and garrulous wife is like a trumpet sounding the charge,
and every person like this lives in the anarchy of war.