Theory of the Day:
When society at large encourages moral behavior and discourages immoral behavior, more women than men will behave morally, but when society at large discourages moral behavior and encourages immoral behavior, more men than women will behave morally.
This theory has been bouncing around my skull for a while now, but I didn’t
put it down onto paper turn it into ones and zeros until Martel’s latest post on Dread. A sample:
In olden days of yore, even beta males were Alpha by today’s standards. Yet even those who weren’t particularly Alpha were still able to maintain a similar frame in that they were still “the one who needs the other the least.”
Back then, she depended on him for income, today she’s got “You-Go-Girlism.” If she was caught cheating on him then, society would frown upon her en masse; today he gets blamed for not adequately getting in touch with her emotional needs. There were fewer opportunities to cheat (the logistics of cheating is easier to navigate in small towns today than it was in big cities in prior eras), no Facebook to remind her how special she is every two minutes, no movie stars or professional athletes for her husband to not measure up to, and no political movements telling her she had a right to
make beta males she’s never met pay for her kidsindependence. She was more likely to attend church, and in church she was more likely to be reminded of her duties as a wife.
Women had the same hypergamic instincts they do today, but far more dread to counter it. If a woman in other eras pulled this crap, he wouldn’t need a week-long freeze-out, he could probably just tell her parents, or the preacher, or any of her friends, and she’d be ruined.
Today, it’s the complete opposite. If the vast majority of Americans heard the anecdote I cite in the previous paragraph, they would be horrified. If instead of running back into his arms she banged the plumber, she would hear infinite choruses of “you go girl!” (including many from her church, if she even attends one).
Culture matters, especially to women, as I explained in a comment I left:
I have thought for a while that the cultural changes which have occurred in the last century have been far more important than the legal changes when it comes to the actual impact on the state of marriage today. Reading through your post Martel, it appears we might be on the same page here. While child-support laws and divorce laws now are clearly biased against men, the danger they pose would be minimal if society condemned their use as we see today. Society-wide Dread is a powerful force, especially against women, who tend to be much more attuned and responsive to culture at large.
It is the last part of my comment which lies at the heart of the theory above. Women are creatures of the herd, they stick close to the pack in what they do. Furthermore, they are usually much more keen on finding out what is “popular” in their social setting and then adjusting themselves to that pattern of behavior. In a group setting, few women will voice opinions or beliefs which stand in stark contrast to the group; no one wants to “stray.” Conflict is avoided by the silent consent of the members of the group. When you add all of this together you see that women will fall in with the accepted behaviors of the group, and not simply not criticize them but actively adopt them in order to fit in.
Compare this to men, who usually exhibit more individualistic attitudes and behaviors. Men have far less trouble criticizing the group or its members, and are more willing to find a new group if the present one doesn’t satisfy them. Most men don’t care whats popular and actively ridicule the idea of adopting popular styles (those men who tend not to fit this pattern also tend to be the least masculine men). Male groups usually include a lot of criticism and dissent. As part of their base nature men tend to go their own way (not in the sense of MGTOW), perhaps as a method of standing out so as to make it easier for them to step out of the shadows. Added together men will tend to defy group behaviors they don’t like, and will conform themselves not to behaviors acceptable to the group, but which are consistent with the man’s own beliefs and desires.
Examining these two polar opposite approaches by men and women, it is possible to observe a potential reason why the idea of Women-Good/Men-Bad developed. If those around them preach a moral lifestyle, the female inclination to go along with the group will leave them more likely than not to adopt a moral lifestyle. However, this is not true for men. The male inclination to stand out, to be distinct, will lead many men to rebel against whatever cultural standards society is pushing. When those standards include a moral lifestyle, then far more men than women will be adopting an immoral lifestyle. The idea of women being innately good makes sense when you have a society which actively encourages moral behavior, because in that society women will tend to be more moral than men. If that kind of culture is all that is known, then any casual observer could easily draw the inference that women are more moral than men.
This theory also explains why there seem to be far more chaste men interested in marriage, especially young marriage, right now than there are chaste women interested in marriage. The general culture now discourages both chastity and young marriage, so women will tend to go along with that narrative. Leaving men, always the sex more willing to buck society, to be the ones more likely to live a moral/Christian lifestyle.
Thoughts, questions, concerns or comments?