Warning: Heartbreak Ahead

Knowledge is Power.

If we accept this maxim as true, then it stands to reason that some types of knowledge are of more value than others, and consequently lead to greater power. Therefore…

…Red Pill Knowledge is Extraordinary Power.

What do I mean by this? Well, first a clarification.

Game On

I view this blog as a Red Pill Christian blog, rather than a Game blog, in part because I don’t sympathize or associate with the PUA community, and because I don’t cover the one-on-one interpersonal skills and tactics which can be considered Game, or “Micro-Game.” Only occasionally will I link a site like Roissy’s, although I do read them from time to time. So I am familiar with a lot of Game and PUA concepts. I know many of the theories, and even some application skills. While I’ve never gone to a nightclub to exercise them in the manner of a PUA, I have employed a number of the lesser tactics in other social situations. And I can vouch that they work. Oh do they.

In the many, many months since I became acquainted with the Red Pill, I have been able to dramatically turn around my interactions with women. Thanks to changes in my body language, clothing, physical fitness and some more adroit verbal skills, I can now dominate most conversations with members of the opposite sex. In my Blue Pill days such a notion was laughable. Now I am not only skilled enough to discern IOIs, Indicators of Interest, but I am actually seeing them directed my way by good looking women. This transformation has been so profound that I have to confront, for perhaps the first time in my life, the possibility that a woman might actually like me. As in Like, like me. All without my making her the target of my attentions and affections.

And this isn’t necessarily an academic possibility that I now face; a recent conversation with a female acquaintance of mine left me convinced that she would be receptive to any advances I might make. In fact, the kino she was engaged in with me seemed aimed, at least subconsciously, to encourage such advances. Alas, she is not wife material, so nothing can come of it. At least, nothing can come of it if I don’t abuse my new found power. However, the thought has come into my mind of using this woman, and others who show an interest in me, as “practice targets.” That is, I practice “Game” on them in order to hone my inter-personal skills with women.

With Great Power comes Great Re- bah, you know the rest….

Just because something can be done, doesn’t mean that it should be done. And that something includes Game. Naomi at Embraceyourfemininity has written a post explaining how women shouldn’t abuse their feminine charms. That same advice applies to men as well. Discovering Game and the Red Pill is often a life-changing event. Once someone masters that knowledge, they gain a huge amount of power over women. And that power should never be abused. Women can be afflicted with oneitis, just like men, and can pine away for someone who is out of their reach. The plight of Beta Orbiters is something well understood in the manosphere, and for good reason: these men have lost a large measure of their masculinity and are now little better than appliances for the woman they orbit. It is less common, but women can act the same way as well for a man who isn’t interested in them. Or at least interested in committing to them; they often have no problem having sex with those women but aren’t interested in anything more.

My advice to men is this: don’t become what you hate. Don’t abuse the power you have recently acquired. With a detailed understanding of game it becomes remarkably easy to manipulate women. You will be tempted to use your skills to get what you want from women, irrespective of the harm you may cause. And as you learn more, you will be tempted to go further and further, to push your talents to their limit. But if you go down that path, you become no better than the women who used and abused you (and other men) before you took the Red Pill. Manipulating a woman to make her fall for you and then leaving her behind in the dust is a sure fire way to improve your Game. But at the same time it is a sure-fire way to erode your soul.

I am not going to use the women around me as Game “practice dummies.” They are real human beings, who deserve better than to be treated as guinea pigs while I conduct a social experiment.  I have seen what happens to men who treat women as playthings, or worse. Either they become filled with hate, a poison which eats away at you until there is nothing left, or they become completely apathetic to women, no longer able to feel anything for or from women. That will not be my fate, and I advise my readers not to let it become theirs, either.

In the end, it all comes down to the Golden Rule:

In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.

 

[Update: Fixed a lot of typos]

Every Woman’s Fantasy

Dominant sex is every woman’s fantasy. Rape is every woman’s nightmare.

 

The above is a quote from Hannah over at Sunshinemary’s site in her latest post, which covers Ravishment fantasies. I highly recommend reading both the post itself and all the comments, as they are some of the best yet at SSM’s site.

Frame Control

An interesting debate arose over at SunshineMary’s site (a not uncommon occurrence), concerning Christian dating and courtship. I expressed my view that two principal questions were behind the debate:

How does a man maintain sexual attraction with a woman without sexually escalating?

and…

How does a chaste man seeking a chaste woman express that he is chaste without lowering his attractiveness in the eyes of the woman[?]

Several very good answers were supplied by fellow commentators. Cail Corishev chimed in:

The bottom line is that he has to bump up his alpha in other areas to compensate for the fact that he’s not dominating her sexually. Fortunately, a guy doesn’t have to be 100% alpha in all areas to be attractive. Height and fitness are alpha qualities, but a short, fat guy can attract women if he compensates in other areas, such as being the life of the party or having dominant body language.

as did Keoni Galt:

A man determined to remain chaste until marriage should escalate to the point where he has determined he is morally bound by his belief and faith and go no further. (For most, that would be kissing, hugging, holding hands…).

If stopping at 2nd or 3rd base makes her lose attraction and interest in him (which was vR’s regular complaints about all the EAP’s he was dating), then she has proven herself unworthy of his commitment.

and a few others as well.

Overall, these are excellent pieces of advice, and the two quoted comments in particular are important reminders about major Red Pill truths. Keoni’s full comment references that excellent advice of having an abundance mentality, that is, never succumbing to the belief that there is only one woman out there for you. It is simply a good approach to take in life in general, like many other Red Pill concepts.

Cail’s comment comes very close to my own thoughts on the subject. I have covered the subject of male attractiveness before, and key amongst the many attributes is that of Power. In general manosphere parlance this is often referred to as Frame. A dominant masculine frame is essential to any successful interaction with women, no matter whether you are aiming for a ONS or hoping to court a young lady in pursuit of marriage.

“How does a man maintain sexual attraction with a woman without sexually escalating?”

My question, as Keoni pointed out, was poorly worded. Rather than asking how to maintain sexual attraction without sexually escalating, it should have asked how a man can maintain attraction without escalating to sex itself. I think the answer is measured escalation, done in such a way as to always leaving the woman wanting more, but never putting yourself in a position where the woman clearly expects sex and it seems like you are backing down. Proper frame is key here; you must always appear in control. That sense of cool, composed confidence is supremely masculine, and is very similar to the detached aloofness that Roissy advocates. As long as you have that going for you, you should be able to control the interaction such that it never seems like you are afraid of sex. If the woman herself broaches the subject, a mysterious air is what I would advocate. Don’t make your intentions clear if you can help it. However, if the woman tries to place you on the spot, as a form of fitness test, it is possible to still escape gracefully. When she asks, say “No”, but with a mischievous smile that makes it seem as though you are hiding something. Then, when she asks why you aren’t interested in having sex with her, you respond like this: Look around suspiciously, then if possible slowly circle around her, maintaining eye contact for as long as possible, and move in close and whisper in her ear… “The best part of being a Man is never having to explain yourself.” Then quickly disengage. This will pique her curiosity and provide that emotional thrill-ride which women adore. If that doesn’t satisfy her, then Keoni’s advice to NEXT her is solid.

How does a chaste man seeking a chaste woman express that he is chaste without lowering his attractiveness in the eyes of the woman[?]

An easier question to answer, I think. While you shouldn’t lie, it isn’t necessarily something you should volunteer about yourself until after you have established yourself in her eyes. Once again, maintaining a mysterious air is probably the best solution. If she presses, or the subject comes up, then the key is to make it about your worth as a man. Make it clear that you as a man are discriminating, and that only a woman who is worthy can earn the right to experience that part of your masculinity. Its all about value: you must express your high value as much as possible, so that the woman’s natural hypergamous instincts will treat your supposed admission not as a sign of masculine weakness, but as a marker of high status.

Alpha versus Beta- Part 2- Retention Vectors

This post is a follow-up to my previous post concerning Alpha and Beta attributes. Having already explained Alpha attributes, I now turn my attention to Beta attributes or traits.

The important thing to understand is that Beta traits are not attraction traits. As frequent manosphere commentator deti noted:

Women want men with beta traits. However, they want those traits IN AN ATTRACTIVE MAN, and they want the man to display those traits only when they want him to display them.

Beta traits will not affect your ability to attract the notice of a woman. In fact, it might even be the case that they could impair a man’s ability to be attractive, although I don’t believe that to be true. Instead, I think that Beta traits are useful to help maintain or retain the attraction of a woman.  Which is why I call Beta traits Retention Vectors, because just as the LAMPS vectors can vary in strength and importance, the different Retention Vectors can also vary. Some call them comfort traits, but I don’t think that is entirely accurate, because women find comfort and security in Alpha traits, not Beta traits.

So what are some Retention Vectors? Deti helpfully supplied a few:

provider/provisioning, industriousness, fidelity, loyalty, affection, affability, friendliness) are desirable.

Others include compassion and patience.  I’m not sure that I could create a comprehensive list, because there are far more of them than there are attraction vectors.

So we know what some are, but how exactly do they work? This is where we get to the heart of my theory on why Beta traits are useful to have for (some) men, and why I call them Retention Vectors.

(Side note: just like women, men have an attractiveness rating. The standard 1-10 scale probably works just as well as any other measurement scale, and that is what I used for my graph in the previous post.)

What Retention Vectors or Beta traits do is they act like force multipliers, and enhance the attractiveness of the man in the eyes of his woman. This can push a man’s perceived attraction level a point or two higher, and thus help him mate guard.  For example, a man who is a 7 with a decent Beta score can push his perceived Alpha score up to an 8. So if he is married to an 8, then she won’t feel there is a disparity between their relative SMV values and her hypergamous instincts will be less likely to kick into overdrive. Beta traits are admirable in attractive men, and can help distinguish a man from men who are just as attractive. If you have have two men who are both 8’s, but one is really romantic and a hard worker, then his value will be higher than the other man’s. Now, this only works if the woman considers you attractive in the first place, but if your goal is a LTR (including marriage), then every little bit helps.

I don’t know exactly how much a Beta or Retention value affect this Perceived Attraction Rating (PAR), so I can’t quantify it. But my guess is that it isn’t that great of an effect. You might be able to turn an Alpha value of 6 into a PAR of 8, but I don’t see how the PAR could be pushed more than 2 points higher.

Once you examine Beta traits in this light, you realize that Retention Vectors are far and away less important than Attraction Vectors. Alpha > Beta. This isn’t exactly surprising, and certainly not a novel idea in this part of the web. But I think it is important to remember that Alpha and Beta don’t have to be opposed. Alpha is what actually gains you the attention of a woman, and Alpha is far more important in keeping her. But Beta is useful in keeping a woman once once she is attracted to you.

So as a practical matter, a man should focus his efforts on improving his Alpha value as much as possible. But he shouldn’t throw away any useful Beta traits if it isn’t necessary. Especially if you are marriage minded as a man.

Alpha versus Beta- Part 1

One of the things that has long irked me about the manosphere has been the tendency to group people into Alphas and Betas (and occasionally other greek letters as well). I have always felt that it was a sloppy system that failed to explain properly the way that women look at men.

In my mind, Alpha and Beta weren’t conditions of men, or categories of men, but attributes that a man could possess. I first visualized this as a matrix (an appropriate metaphor, I should think), where you had Beta attributes on one side, and Alpha attributes on another.

Novaseeker had a similar idea with his List A and List B attributes, and in a discussion on his blog I introduced my own ideas on the subject. He asked me for some details, and I provided them, along with some graphics to go with them. Rather than copy paste his post, read it on his site to understand my thoughts on the subject:

Charts of Attraction

One of my comments to that post expanded my idea somewhat, by noting that a visualization of a graph might be superior to matrix, as it demonstrates that Alpha and Beta aren’t binary. A man isn’t really Alpha Yes or Alpha No. Rather, he has a certain amount of Alpha attributes, and that attribute can be positive or negative. The same applies to Beta attributes.

Before I include a rough graph of that new visualization, I should note that Alpha attributes is a short hand reference to LAMPS. However, given the context, I think I will leave it as Alpha, so it makes more sense to a casual viewer.

Alpha and Beta Attributes graphed out

This graphic was made by myself, and can only be used with permission. It is not open source.

The goal of a man who wants to maximize his potential should, in my opinion, be to aim towards the top right corner of the graph. That means maximizing both Alpha and Beta attributes. Beta doesn’t get a lot of love in the manosphere, and I think that is a shame, because such attributes do serve a vital purpose. I think my next post will talk about these so called Beta Attributes, which I call Retention vectors.