Masculine Monday- To Command And Obey

It has been a long while since I wrote one of these post, and thus long overdue. Today I want to examine the subject of authority and leadership as it relates to masculinity.

Before I continue, I would direct my reader’s attention to this post by Cane Caldo. It helped stimulate the present post.

I believe that one of the essential qualities that makes a man a man is his ability to function effectively within a hierarchical structure. It is his ability to lead others below him in authority, in subjection, and his ability to follow orders of those in authority above him. In my opinion a man is not a man unless he is firmly capable of both task.

To Command and Obey go hand in hand.

From my experience, most men who come across as unmanly fail in at least one, if not both, of those areas. When it comes to authority, they come across either as weak or overbearing. And when it comes to obedience, they are either rebellious or spineless drones without initiative.

Creating proper men, that is, instilling in them the essence of command and obedience, must start at an early age. Deviations from acceptable behavior must be spotted and corrected. Creating a man is not an instant process, nor an automatic one. It can, I think, be likened to the forging of a sword- a process which takes time, patience and hard work. Yet the end result is a sharp tool, waiting to be used.

Unfortunately we don’t have the structures in place anymore for this transformation to take place on a mass scale. Point in fact, we have been actively working to dismantle them for generations. And that process yet continues.

So it is up to individuals and small groups to continue this essential work. Men who are fathers of boys are especially demanded upon. Most of the work is up to them- and in a hostile work environment, no less.

I would like my readers, especially fathers, to give their thoughts on the subject. Both in terms of general views on whether I am right or not, and also as to specifics on how to achieve this.

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15 Comments

Filed under Civilization, Masculinity, Men, Parenting, Red Pill

15 responses to “Masculine Monday- To Command And Obey

  1. So it is up to individuals and small groups to continue this essential work. Men who are fathers of boys are especially demanded upon. Most of the work is up to them- and in a hostile work environment, no less.

    And where are the boys to go then after they turned into men, if society at large does not value, or even openly hates them. We must re-build communities as well for the young men to have a place to flourish, and we must do this in a “hostile work environment”.

  2. Kentucky,

    You are quite right. The process continues even after a boy is raised to a man. For men need their own spaces. Their own place to flourish.

  3. Every boy has natural tendencies towards rebellion or spinelessness, tyranny or absence. Every stage of life has natural tendencies as well–we all know the trope of the rebellious teenager. In order for men to find their balance they each need to be aware of their own tendencies. Thus we must ask ourselves, how do I fail?

    Am I able to obey, even when I don’t want to or do I constantly fight and rebel?
    Am I able to stand up for myself and what I know is right, even when authority is against me or do I always bend over?

    Further, it is traditional to learn to obey first, and only through successful obedience, to rise to command. Modern society tends to focus all our efforts on creating “leaders” at the endless “leadership conferences.” If we want good leaders, first we need good followers.

    The alpha-male emphasis of the Manosphere seems to indicate that following would be beta. Chicks dig the rebels and the tyrants, says Heartiste. He’s probably right–at least in regards to sluts–but it is the right mix of alpha and beta that makes a great man. All alpha is an error, just as is all beta.

    We must examine ourselves, confess our failings, and pray for the strength to mature and grow.

  4. On a social level, the main way boys become men is by practicing participating in a hierarchy of men. Like any skill, practice makes perfect. Unfortunately, we have few male hierarchies left. The football team and portions of the military and the priesthood are really all that I can think of. And each of those are under constant female bombardment. The workplace is overrun. The social clubs are all co-ed.

    Boys learn manhood from other men, and from achieving things within the hierarchy. Thus, if our society desires to produce men, we must protect those rare male hierarchies we still have, and, if we are able, seek to produce new ones.

  5. stmichaelkozaki

    Boys learn to lead/follow from their father/male elders, not from society or their mother (unless men are absent then all bets are off; they may survive but never thrive). I’ve learned truth raising a half-dozen boys over two decades. Males are made, not born, created within the patriarchal family at best, or self-made in desperation, or not made at all at worst.

    DG: Unfortunately we don’t have the structures in place anymore for this transformation to take place on a mass scale. Point in fact, we have been actively working to dismantle them for generations. And that process yet continues. So it is up to individuals and small groups to continue this essential work.

    I think the situation is very grim, much worse than commonly realized. Structures haven’t been around for years. It’s every man, every family for themselves, and has been for decades. It’s now a “family-based” culture, not a society-based one. People are slow to come to this realization for some reason. But I do think a war zone image is applicable. Lot’s of carnage. All one can do is bury the dead, protect themselves and their own tribe, and move on. Ideas have consequences.

    The Church (and women as well) especially don’t grasp how advanced the situation is (and likely won’t until it hits their pocketbook and/or political comfort/safety). This advance should be fairly rapid once the Boomers pass, if not before.

    Flip side? It’s a golden age for young men with their head on straight as they have never been in such demand (not due to quality, just lack of supply). But men who survive this era will be (by definition as survivors) too wise to engage in a lost cause and will likely stay detached, poolside.

  6. It’s a golden age for young men with their head on straight as they have never been in such demand (not due to quality, just lack of supply).

    Is deer season a golden age for deer? Your last paragraph completely contradicts itself.

  7. stmichaelkozaki

    KH: Is deer season a golden age for deer? Your last paragraph completely contradicts itself.

    You didn’t read the “head on straight” part. IOW, the male deer who escapes the hunting season? His buck competitors are dead and he’s got all the food & does he wants. As I said, it’s just supply and demand.

  8. anonymous_ng

    @SMK It’s now a “family-based” culture, not a society-based one.

    This is a very good point because it’s not very far from a family-based culture back to a tribal culture with the negatives that are built into that system.

  9. Dismal Farmer

    I hope this post of yours garners more comments.

    Practical advice:

    Do not raise children of either sex in a city. All the cities are converged. Your children need to grow up today “in the wilderness”, not Nineveh. There is too much popular “culture” bombarding them in a city.

    Restrict what goes into their brains. Be careful of the language you use and I do not mean fricking cussing. You are, if you are reading this online, necessarily influenced by a liberal anti-theist culture. It will come across in your words unless you think carefully about how you speak to your children. Of course restrict what and who you allow from the media establishment to brainwash your children with flashy pictures.

    Assuming that you get yourself together reasonably well as a man, you are the person you can most rely on in raising your children. That means you need to be there. This means you need to be home more. You will probably need to make choices which actively sabotage your career in order to be a father physically present in your children’s lives. Make those sacrifices eagerly.

  10. Dismal Farmer

    @ Kentucky Headhunter exactly right and the way to build those communities is to start small.

    @stmichaelkozaki I find your lack of belief in a fallen and sinful world…disturbing. There is no magical bright future for men who “have their head on straight”. Most such men who really are good men will die in pain and misery. You ought to have raised your boys to prepare for that.

  11. stmichaelkozaki

    Anon: back to a tribal culture with the negatives

    Yes. It’s very sad. But the only solution. When somebody yells fire in a crowded theater, you take care of your own first and are lucky to make it.

    DF: I hope this post of yours garners more comments.

    Me too. It’s worthy of more discussion.

    DF: I find your lack of belief in a fallen and sinful world…disturbing. There is no magical bright future for men who “have their head on straight”. Most such men who really are good men will die in pain and misery. You ought to have raised your boys to prepare for that.

    I did. Since I’ve got actual experience here with success to date I find your lack of hope…disturbing. And self-fulfilling. I’m not buying what you are selling. Despair is a sin; hope is a virtue. I know which one I’m choosing to work my ass off for…regardless of the outcome. We will be held accountable.

    Yes the West is undergoing a great extinction event. Yes, most boys (and girls) today won’t make it (hell, most won’t even get a chance to try due to abortion and low birth rates). But my kids will not only have the option to survive but thrive. Despair and sloth is not an option. It’s God’s world. I just work here.

  12. My blog traffic is not nearly what it used to be even a year ago, so I’m not surprised there are so few comments. I don’t post nearly as often, people don’t comment as much, and a cycle forms.

    Also, this is Lent, which will drive traffic down further.

  13. DJ

    If you want to make boys into men don’t undermine their good inclinations as boys, and don’t insult or cut down other men. Humiliating boys or men in front of other is also wrong . I’ve witnessed many boys who were well on their way to becoming decent men at a young age be insulted , ridiculed ,and cut down by their fathers or male leaders despite the fact they were doing the right thing. When men in authority act in that way, they damage everyone’s respect for male authority, how can you respect a leader that is also your enemy?

  14. stmichaelkozaki

    DJ: When men in authority act in that way, they damage everyone’s respect for male authority

    DJ, thanks for making that point. The Christian manosphere is extremely touchy on this; I’ve been hated often for making your exact point (usually concerning less-than-ideal fathers). The response usually goes: men are disrespected by law and culture today, so to even suggest men might be culpable in any way for the current situation supports feminism, disrespects men, or whatever.

    Again, the family situation today is much like the chaos of fire in a crowded theater. No easy fix; most are going to perish, anyone can go down. It’s each man, each marriage, each nuclear family, for him/their self. Expect zero help (no, actual harm) from one’s own father, mother, in-laws, wife, legal, or the Church itself (which will parasite off your labors). But for those with the faith & work ethic to push through? It’s actually a golden era to be married (conventionally, Church-style) with a 1950s style family. For women, especially. There is a serious shortage of quality men both willing & able to lead. Simple supply and demand. It’s hard to blame men for saying “Thanks, but no thanks”. The deck is stacked against them in every way.

  15. DJ,

    Your comment touches on some important points. If I get time I would like to write about that on one of these Masculine Monday posts.

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