I made the mistake of seeing the new “Star Wars” movie this weekend. Oops. TLDR version for my readers: don’t watch it.
****Spoilers**** [Minor ones, not that it really matters much]
So what made the movie awful? Lets see:
- It wasn’t Star Wars. It didn’t feel like Star Wars, and the characters basically didn’t act as if they were in Star Wars. Even the Force Awakens felt more like Star Wars than this. What they did to Luke Skywalker was a sick joke.
- It was yet another hackneyed repeat plot from the original trilogy. Force Awakens stole from A New Hope, and this stole from Empire Strikes Back. Only badly.
- The only half-way competent male in the entire movie was the chief villain. And I emphasize half-way competent. That is all he got. Every other male was an abject failure, save perhaps one who was maybe a quarter competent at the very end. They basically accomplished nothing at best, and in many instances made things worse.
- The female characters, on the other hand, were awesome. They were the only clever or successful characters besides the villain. Basically, what they set out to do, they accomplished.
- The protagonist slash heroine was super-awesome. She basically exhibited one flaw in the entire movie- being too trusting of the good of others. And of course it all worked out fine in the end.
- Speaking of her, she is the perfect glaring example of how the creators of this movie don’t know Star Wars at all. She basically upends all notions of how the Force, Light Side and everything works. She is a woman, and so cannot do wrong.
- I could go on and talk about the huge plot holes which filled the movie like swiss cheese, but that would force this page to run on and on. I will spare my readers the half-hour + it would take to cover them.
In truth, what Star Wars has become is sadly easy to see now: yet another damned Disney Princess movie. That is what it is. The heroine is a Disney Princess, and everyone else exists to show how awesome she is (and by extension empowered women). Frankly, the movie screams that it was written by what Vox Day would call a “Gamma Male”; in other words a male feminist with daddy issues and a fear of “toxic masculinity.”
So in recap, don’t watch this garbage film.
*Yes, I know the name and probably the content is unoriginal. But I felt this post deserved as much originality as the film displayed.