It Could Be Worse

I have had some dark times in my life. I’ve written about a few of them on my blog here. But whenever I stop and begin to brood overmuch, I try to recall that my life could be worse. A lot worse.

For example, I have a buddy who is currently trying to get custody of his son. He didn’t know he had a son until recently- his ex-girlfriend of many years ago lied to him when she broke up. And in the meantime she has turned out to be crazy and also a criminal. So he is fighting not just for visitation rights but custody to try and get his son away from mom and into a healthy environment.

I don’t have the concerns of a desperate parent right now- so it could be worse.

Then there is a co-worker of mine who made a huge mistake and is now facing criminal charges. He will probably lose his job no matter what. And his life is a mess now.

I am not facing criminal charges- so it could be worse.

An old example is a former co-worker of mine. He has been married and divorced several times. He is basically consigned to poverty for the rest of his life because of child support and alimony payments. There is no escape for him (besides maybe leaving the country).

I am not a financial slave to the family law system- so it could be worse.

It is important to count your blessings. While a small step, it is an important step to avoid falling into the pit trap that is despair.

[And no, I am not in a bad place now- I am appreciative of the fact that I am not, having looked around at some people around me]




Filed under Red Pill

4 responses to “It Could Be Worse

  1. anonymous_ng

    You make an excellent point. It’s ever so easy to focus on the areas of life that aren’t how you wish they were, and to forget those areas that are good.

    For example, I’m financially comfortable. It’s only from wages, so there is always a risk there, but from day to day, I don’t have many worries about money. As a result, I tend not to think about what a blessing it is to not worry about paying the bills.

    In comparison, my ex-wife is very stressed about her finances and money. There was a time shortly after she moved out that she was dating/sleeping with two men, and I was envious. There I was focusing on what I didn’t have and ignoring what I do have.

    I wake every day grateful for my children, for the life in my body, and the good God who’s given these things to me.

  2. fuzziewuzziebear

    It is a little extreme, but there must be people in the hospital, that if given a choice, would prefer to be in jail.

  3. Ame

    Fuzzie’s comment reminded me of the couple times we had to take my Oldest to the Big Children’s Hospital in the Big City when she was a baby. Fortunately, her issues turned out to be very mild … but if you ever want to be humbled, walk around a children’s hospital.

    – – – – –

    there was a long season in my life where people hesitated to tell me anything negative because, as they would say, “It’s nothing like what you’re having to go through, Ame.” they were right, but after awhile i felt a bit isolated from my friends. i would tell them, “You’re right; it’s not. And if it were a competition most people would loose because what I’m going through really sucks. But here’s the thing … if it’s ‘bad’ for you, it’s bad, so just let it be what it is, deal with it, and move on when you can.”

    ‘bad’ isn’t a competition (regardless of how some people try to make it one sometimes). there will always be someone who has it better and someone who has it worse – i tell my kids that often. we simply have to live the life we’ve got and live it the best we can.

    sometimes, though, we all need a ‘perspective-kick-in-the-butt.’

  4. MK

    I was diagnosed with a life-changing disease years ago; life as I knew it was over for good. On the way home, I noticed that homeless guy in the cold that I never really “saw” and suddenly felt truly grateful. Sad it takes this to wake me up.

    He is basically consigned to poverty for the rest of his life because of child support and alimony pay no escape for him

    He should try hard to avoid defeatism and actively respond:
    1) Viciously cut costs (garden/hunt/DIYall).
    2) Save off-book cash plus start a LP with a friend to hold off-book stocks.
    3) Offer to “handyman” his new DIY skills to friends (cash only).
    4) Have 3-4 roommates and/or buy a really damaged fixer-upper.
    5) Once expenses are WAY down (with off-book cashflow) cut work back while pursuing slashing support payments the following year (w/ legal planning). With more time/less work he can even pursue custody. I know a lot of guys in this situation and am amazed at their general passivity. It’s a war, and even if it cannot be fully “won” it can be made tolerable. But it takes aggression, planning, action, and looking out for #1. This need for change can even start a beautiful shift to health, fitness, and self-work & end up being life-changing in a good way.

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