Short post today. I hope that my readers will really drive the discussion with this one.
I have been doing some thinking lately how the whole process of actively trying to “woo” someone. There are two main models which are proposed, one of them the more widely accepted model and the other more common around the manosphere. They are:
- Men are the pursuers and Women are the pursued
- Men display and Women choose
I would like to examine these two models, because I am wondering if they are necessarily mutually exclusive. One way of reconciling these two is the following:
Men Display –> Women Choose –> Men Pursue –> Women are Pursued
All of the potential models involve men starting the process. Not really a surprise, I guess. Now to get to the title of the post.
One way that I have been looking at this is that men generally are overt in their actions, and women are covert. For example, men display overtly- they are proactive in their masculine endeavors, for example. Or in their gaining of status/money. And of course, when it comes to actual pursuit, they are definitely overt.
On the other hand, women tend to be covert when they are pursued. They lead men on with IOIs and reciprocal behavior, much of it subtle. The interesting question then, is whether women are overt or covert when they “choose.” A covert approach would be to show subtle interest in a man, such as display IOIs or spend time near him. An overt approach though… I doubt it would look exactly like a man’s. Probably much less subtle IOIs.
What I would like is my reader’s input. What do you think tends to happen? Which model? And is it usually men are overt, women covert? Or are women just as overt? And does it look different from how men act overtly? Please give your thoughts below. Feel free to throw personal stories and anecdotes around all you want.