Tuesday Tips #6 Stay In Control Or Get Out

The series continues. As always, these do not necessarily represent my opinion.

———————————————————-

Tuesday Tips was started for a singular reason. I presumed (rightly or wrongly) that Donal was weary of blogging and might close up shop. Tuesday Tips was an attempt to give him a breather.

My motive was and is entirely selfish. As a father (many time over, from ‘moved out’ to newborn) I unfortunately can’t just ignore the modern ‘religious’ SMP. I may not be interested in it, but it sure as hell is interested in me! So I’m doing my small part to help keep this blog alive in order to keep up with what’s going on out there.

For this tip, I’m going to tell a personal story reinforcing the need for a man to maintain his balance in a relationship. It’s a bit dated, but still applicable to today I think.

I was about 21 (early ‘90s). I had a kinda “girlfriend” I had met in my former coed dorm. Blond. Total ditz. I found her addictive, but honestly have no idea why. She was at best a 6. My friends found her ridiculous. But she “clicked” something deep and primordial in me. Beauty or personality certainly had nothing to do with it.

Anyway, we were out on a Friday night playing a sport with friends. She did something clumsy (not uncommon) and broke her nose. Blood everywhere. I wasn’t involved in the accident itself but as the informal “boyfriend” I took her to the emergency room.

Guys, you know where this is going. She called her mom for the insurance number, got her nose taped up, and everyone closed out the ruined night with cards and beer. Or so we thought.

Within hours, cops were banging on the door. Why? Her mom had “intuited” I smacked her around and requested the cops investigate.

I will never forget those cops. They flanked me, armed, visibly threatening, while I stood gaping incredulously. They didn’t even seem to want information, just an excuse to bash somebody’s head. Specifically, mine. They wouldn’t let it go, no matter what I (or she) said. Eventually, a roommate corralled a few people who had personally witnessed the injury. The cops finally left. Grudgingly.

I was inflamed, to put It mildly. I remember thinking: what if we had been alone when she broke her nose? What if she wanted to get even with me for something? I demanded answers. She actually had the nerve to kind-of/sort-of defend her mom’s behavior. I was aghast and stated flatly we were over, it was her mom or me; I wasn’t going to keep dodging cops. She burst into tears. I should have just walked, but I was obsessed. And thus a fool.

I’m humiliated to admit that this “relationship” lingered for years after this event. I didn’t actively pursue her, but I couldn’t move on. I remained infatuated. In fact, she was the one who finally “manned up” to initiate a formal breakup. Thank God.

So where did I go wrong? Where to start?

1)      Never answer your door to cops, period. Set up a door microphone (I have one now) and don’t be afraid to ignore the bell. If they threaten to break in (in supposed DV cases like this one they may) just send out the required parties one by one. But never talk. Record everything. Keep control.

2)      Never date women from bad/broken homes who haven’t dealt with their dysfunctional parents. I know this flies in the face of many people’s interpretation of “honor your father and mother” but they forget the second part of the commandment, which helps to explain its proper interpretation and application. In this case, her mom was divorced (natch) and I must wonder with chuckle what her father would have said about the situation. Regardless, I should have been far, far more careful. And critical. The danger signs with that woman were everywhere.

3)      Get control of your emotions regarding women, or prepare to reap the whirlwind. It’s better to just not get involved with any woman who pickles your emotions to idiocy. Lose control and command of the relationship? It will likely end badly. Get out long before then.

4)      Try to date various women. Never get oneitis like I did. There is no “one”.

5)      Pay close attention to what others think about your girlfriends (spoken or unspoken). Do so with an open mind; you may have lost your head. I certainly did, and I’m not the type to do so.

This tip is so obvious I’m skeptical it’s even worth sharing. And a lot has changed since then; today I’m not sure the cops would have even came by, don’t most places have mandatory arrests in DV callouts and this was just a hysterical mother?). But regardless, if I can prevent even one man from being the fool I was, it’s worth the pixels and the time. Be careful out there, guys.

Advertisements

17 Comments

Filed under Red Pill

17 responses to “Tuesday Tips #6 Stay In Control Or Get Out

  1. It sort of seems like the manosphere is dying.

  2. Lost Patrol

    Reminders about the razor’s edge should be pervasive and regular, so thanks for posting it.

  3. well. This one will rustle the hens’ jimmies. Oh well. They need something to cluck about.

  4. MK

    deti, this will rustle the hens’ jimmies.

    That was not my intent nor expectation. M/F sexual strategies must align to maximize fertility & happiness, so women with a future will agree with me. The rest won’t care; cats need loving too.

  5. @ Patrick

    The sphere has gone through phases like this before. The big guys (Dalrock, Rollo, Vox, CH) are still around. It is just that some segments are much less active or have gone dormant. This happens. It i will likely be that way until an influx of new blood.

    @ Lost Patrol

    Welcome. And thanks to MK for the post. I appreciate his efforts, even if I don’t always agree.

    @ MK

    I both laughed and cried at your comment. Such is the world we live in.

  6. Oh, and in case folks are curious, I don’t plan on quitting any time soon. My posting will be less frequent, that is true. Partially this is less than I want to, or can, write about. But partly it is because I simply have much less free time than I used to. And what I do have I am trying to pour elsewhere.

  7. Novaseeker

    The sphere has gone through phases like this before. The big guys (Dalrock, Rollo, Vox, CH) are still around. It is just that some segments are much less active or have gone dormant. This happens. It i will likely be that way until an influx of new blood.

    Yes. It’s also moved, to an extent, away from blogs to other places like YouTube and Reddit, and even more mainstream articles and discussions that are not specifically manosphere or red pill related places. This is also in part due to the success of the manosphere in spreading these themes into the mainstream over the past 10 years or so. There’s less need for the manosphere now than there was then, really, because the ideas are out there in the mainstream much more than they were a decade ago. They’re not exactly “mainstream acceptable” yet, but they’re nevertheless circulating enough in the mainstream that they are kind of “known” at this point, even to people who have never read a manosphere site. That was not the case 10 years ago, but a lot has been written and YouTubed and so on over the past 10 years, and it’s had a broader impact and impression.

  8. MK

    DG: The sphere has gone through phases before. Dalrock, Rollo, Vox, CH are still around just some segments are less active.

    I find your philosophy unlike any on the above list in critical ways (e.g., more civilizationist). Strangely, the only blog I’ve found similar is ktc.

    DG: And what time I do have I am trying to pour elsewhere.

    Respect. Just a thought: the time is ripe for a group blog of traditionalists (with the goal of real-life connections). You could run something like that with little work as you’ve the interpersonal/theological balance and experience. It’s an underserved group (look at the Clear Creek explosion). Lots of people waking up. And lots of opportunities for networking.

  9. nuts. another comment eaten. Please check, donal, for a comment I just left.

  10. YouTube and Reddit, and even more mainstream articles and discussions that are not specifically manosphere or red pill related places.”

    The manosphere proper, sans Reddit, has also undergone a fundamental change in the almost 6 years I’ve been here. When I got here the manosphere was 90% social dynamics, sociology and psychology. It was almost entirely intersexual relationships, male and female nature, “combat dating”, the “gender wars”, and Game. It had just left hardcore PUA and gone into overall male self improvement, part of a set of ideas helping men figure out who and what they are, and whether to do Game, relationship Game, pickup Game, MRA or MGTOW.

    Around 2014 a lot of the guys who had been there since the early days were gone and there was an enormous influx of low value men into The Red Pill subreddit and into parts of the manosphere. MGTOW shifted from “no marriage no fatherhood” to “want nothing at all to do with women, women are worthless” because the character of the men who comprised it had shifted from sigmas and divorced high betas, to mostly omegas who didn’t want to try any self improvement or who had tried self improving but still failed to get relationships or sex. MRA drifted further into irrelevance but the MSM chose large, combative Paul Elam and murderous incel Elliot Rodger as the “faces” of the “dangerous entity” called the “manosphere”.

    And in late 2015 and then 2016 with Trump’s election, a huge part of the manosphere has thrown in with the alt right. So it’s moving now again, away from relationships and toward “big picture” “meta” topics like politics, sociology, and “social change”. There’s a decided emphasis on traditional Christian conservative principles like monogamy, chastity, prudence, courage, industry, self defense, self sufficiency, family, etc. There’s also an overt emphasis and recognition of identity politics, with the alt right saying “the Left started all this identity politics business; we’re just finishing what they started.”

  11. There are also some features of the dark enlightenment and neoreaction here too – It’s pretty clear Moldbug laid a lot of the philosophical and theoretical groundwork for what the alt right is doing.

  12. Respect. Just a thought: the time is ripe for a group blog of traditionalists (with the goal of real-life connections). You could run something like that with little work as you’ve the interpersonal/theological balance and experience. It’s an underserved group (look at the Clear Creek explosion). Lots of people waking up. And lots of opportunities for networking.

    Like.

  13. MK

    Deti: thanks for that sphere history. I’m clearly out of the loop; I never even thought about a “Trump effect” for Trads. It’s obvious once you point.

    Cassie: maybe you could start it :-). Just make sure you get DG & Ktc…

  14. Cassie: maybe you could start it :-). Just make sure you get DG & Ktc…

    Heh, thanks MK, I appreciate the confidence there. Problem is, I don’t have the skill set that you speak of Donal having. I wouldn’t have a clue of how to accomplish that, especially with my lack of networking savvy – that’s something I’m not very good at, unfortunately. 😕

  15. MK

    Cassie, I find your views unpredictable & informative so I’m curious what you thought about the post (esp. any negatives so don’t hold back).

  16. Anonymous Reader

    I was about 21 (early ‘90s).

    It’s worse now on most campuses. Men are just as clueless and unable to protect themselves, women are even more entitled and for various reasons it looks like there are more women from busted families / feminist mothers than 25 years ago.

    Just saying.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s