Like A Boss

I have a fair number of pet peeves, and long-time readers will be aware of a few of them. I want to talk about one in particular today.

You see, I really hate it when a married guy calls his wife “the boss.”

I mean, I might be able to tolerate it if it was said sarcastically. Perhaps as some sort of flirtation/foreplay thing.

But I cannot say that I’ve ever heard it used in that way. The only way I’ve ever heard used is seriously, or in that half-joking way which deep down is tinged with fear.

Frankly, its pathetic.

Unmanly.

Men, your wife is not your “boss.” She is your helpmate. God is your boss. Not your wife. Remember what happened last time a man decided to let his wife play boss? Yeah… didn’t end so well, did it?

So in all seriousness, stop calling your wife your boss. Just stop. Everyone will be better off for it.

And that brings this PSA to an end.

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25 Comments

Filed under Marriage, Masculinity, Men

25 responses to “Like A Boss

  1. Tigersault

    In a similar vein, have you seen those signs that say, “A king is only king of his castle until his wife comes home.”? It’s disgusting.

  2. @ an observer

    Thanks.

    @ Tigersault

    No, I haven’t seen such a sign.And a good thing, too. I would have to fight my gag reflex upon seeing that.

  3. A window sticker I’ve seen…

    ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS AND
    I MARRIED THEIR KING

  4. MK

    I always feel sorry for the wife when I hear this.
    I’ve even had people call my wife “my boss”, esp. when they hear about the kids. My stock reply: “No. I’m the last chauvinist.”

    Men, your wife is not your “boss.” She is your helpmate.
    I hate “helpmate”, never use it. Not sure why. Seems gay, I guess.

  5. I saw someone do this once in a way that was funny. It’s a joke only a real boss can pull off now.

  6. A window sticker I’ve seen…

    ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS AND
    I MARRIED THEIR KING

    So where is the one reading

    ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES AND I MARRIED THEIR QUEEN?

  7. Men, your wife is not your “boss.” She is your helpmate. God is your boss. Not your wife. Remember what happened last time a man decided to let his wife play boss? Yeah… didn’t end so well, did it?

    I can only imagine the snide, sarcastic, even blasphemous responses that the typical christo-feminist wife would make to the bolded part of that statement if she were to be reminded of it. For all of their supposed piety, christo-feminist women seem to be pretty glib about daring the Lord to punish them for their overt rebellion. Judgment Day is gonna be a real spectacle for a whole lotta “Christian” women who think that their place in Heaven is assured.

  8. Father in law says this a lot about his own toxic marriage relationship. Like many others, he seems to think a long lasting marriage must necessarily be a healthy one.

    His daughter has had to learn how to do respect and submission, not just in behaviour but critically in attitude, and without having had any decent role models. It’s been a learning experience for both of us.

  9. Feeriker,

    I occasionally almost feel sorrow for the hell that Christian women have made of their lives. Then I remember the assumption they have moral agency, and they’ve chosen to embrace the lies and treat all non alpha men as subhuman slaves to their unrealistic fantasies. That usually helps.

    Let them open their own jars. We have enough issues to deal with.

  10. https://therationalmale.com/2011/11/16/sorry/

    Apologizing for a lack of Game isn’t Game.

    Iron Rule of Tomassi #9

    Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstance. This is a Kiss of Death that you self-initiate and is the antithesis of the Prize Mentality. Once you’ve accepted yourself and presented yourself as a “complete douche” there’s no going back to confidence with a woman. Never appeal to a woman’s sympathies. Her sympathies are given by her own volition, never when they are begged for – women despise the obligation of sympathy. Nothing kills arousal like pity. Even if you don’t seriously consider yourself pathetic, it never serves your best interest to paint yourself as pathetic. Self-Depreciation is a misguided tool for the AFC, and not something that would even occur to an Alpha.

  11. MK

    RT, Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstance.
    Not “never”. It’s actually effective to self-depreciate when you are clearly dominate at something. Shows gravitas. Say, point out a weak detail of a larger strength…which of course simply calls attention to the glaring strength.

  12. Lost Patrol

    Pathetic is the right word. I’ve developed a habit of immediate comeback on this statement with some version of: really? sorry to hear that. Modify as needed, but don’t let it go by unremarked.

  13. I’ve never seen it done successfully with the woman present.

  14. There can only be one boss in a relationship. if a man makes this statement he submits to his wife. Another submissive beta with no balls. Sad.

  15. Men’s abdication to the feminine is an autonomous response for them now.

    https://therationalmale.com/2012/05/30/the-abdication-imperative/

    Hypergamy is rooted in doubt. Hypergamy is an inherently insecure system that constantly tests, assesses, retests and reassesses for optimal reproductive options, long-term provisioning, parental investment, and offspring and personal protection viability in a potential mate. Even under the most secure of prospects hypergamy still doubts. The evolutionary function of this incessant doubt would be a selected-for survival instinct, but the process of hypergamy’s assessment requires too much mental effort to be entirely relegated to women’s subconscious. Social imperatives had to be instituted not only to better facilitate the hypergamous process, but also to reassure the feminine that men were already socially pre-programmed to align with that process.

    In an era when women’s sexual selection has been given exclusive control to the feminine, in an age when hypergamy has been loosed upon the world en force, social conventions had to be established to better silence the doubt that hypergamy makes women even more acutely aware of. And nowhere is this doubt more pronounced than in the confines of a monogamous commitment intended to last a lifetime. Thus we have the preconception “Happy Wife equals Happy Life” pre-programmed into both gender’s collective social consciousness. It’s as if to say “It’s OK Hypergamy, everything’s gonna be alright because we all believe that women should be the default authority in any relationship.”

    When you disassemble any operative feminine social convention, on its most base, instinctive level the convention’s latent purpose is to facilitate and pacify hypergamy.

    In modern Christian culture the properly farmed Beta is conditioned to internalize this abdication to the feminine. Listen to any pastor about his meeting his wife or his testimony about his marriage and you will invariably hear this abdication and deference to her. He will tell you in every imaginable permutation about how ‘lucky’ he is to have found a woman who’d put up with a schlub like him. It HAS to be a ‘God Thing’ because he’s so unacceptable and in her perfectness she’s had God reveal something magical about him.

    Their mental point of origin automatically defaults to her. I’ve seen the pained looks on the faces of these men’s “Brides” as they pedestalize them beyond all sensibility. They know these guys are Beta and the last thing they want is such gross praise from him. But what’s worse is they have to endure it publicly because it’s all about what he thinks will earn her favor later in bed.

  16. I get this when I hear a cucked guy say “happy wife, happy life.” i swear I want to bitch slap that guy so badly. You’re announcing to the world that your wife cut your balls off and proudly displays them on the mantle.

  17. MK

    RT, Listen to any pastor about his meeting his wife
    Chuckle. Never heard a priest do this my whole life!

    RT, Social conventions silence hypergamy. Nowhere more pronounced than in a monogamous commitment intended to last a lifetime. Thus “Happy Wife equals Happy Life”

    Lack of children is the root cause. Western male-female relationships evolved around a stable family for the singular purpose of providing high investment in children. Remove the children? Women cannot be satisfied. Watch them desperately replace their missing children with dogs and cats, or listlessly search for a better man. Society, slowly dying, invaded by high-fertility foreigners, then adapts social conventions that defer to the female as a means of self-defense. In times of war, it’s the men whom society defers to, but in times of stressed fertility and peaceful invasion (today) it’s the women who can do no wrong.

    This theory is easily tested. Look for extroverted hypergamy within monogamous, high-fertility communities. As I’m fond of saying, seen any Amish feminists lately?

  18. Lost Patrol

    seen any Amish feminists lately?

    Only one, and I didn’t actually see her myself. I guess this is why they try to keep them from looking over the fence.

    http://nypost.com/2014/02/22/amish-beauty-trades-in-bonnet-for-nyc-modeling-career/

  19. Lost Patrol
    December 14, 2016 at 1:21 AM

    Pathetic is the right word. I’ve developed a habit of immediate comeback on this statement with some version of: really? sorry to hear that. Modify as needed, but don’t let it go by unremarked.

    Lost Patrol has made an important point. Especially for those that attend church. If a man publicly declares his submission to his wife gently reprove him face to face. If the submissive husband doubles down on his folly, and won’t listen to sound biblical advise, then tease him about not wearing the pants, or not having any balls.
    If its the pastor or cleric it might be a good time to tell him your doubts about continuing at that church.

  20. If its the pastor or cleric [who proudly announces that he is his wife’s bitch] it might be a good time to tell him your doubts about continuing at that church.

    Just don’t expect that a threat to leave will pack any punch. Churches today, for all of their braying about declining membership, make no serious efforts to change that through either evangelism or staying true to the Scriptures. Apparently the assumption is that new (replacement) members will just grow out of pew dust. But yes, any pastor who lets it be known that his wife rules the roost not only does not deserve a church or a congregation to go with it, but deserves all the merciless mockery you can dish out while you’re on your way out the door.

  21. Women running the show in a marriage has a negative reinforcing effect, too. A man who implicitly accepts that he isn’t sovereign dives into bad habits like being financially irresponsible which makes it seem like it’s right or logical that the woman is running around trying to keep everything working.

  22. Financially irresponsible or chasing a rock band dream or indulging excessively in infantile hobbies, etc

  23. I think there is room for sarcastic self-deprecation, but I agree it should be used sparingly, and not at all if you cannot pull off the required attitude.

    Never heard any of the married Catholic priests I know use this kind of language. But then again, they are all from Eastern Europe. The married men who aren’t, on the other other hand…

  24. I prefer not to see any one partner as the boss; but a partnership between two equals in all respects

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