Avoiding Sacrifice

Deep Strength has a new post up wherein he argues that Women hate suffering:

I was trying to think of ways to make the this post into something elaborate, but the title really just explains itself. Women hate suffering, and by extension women don’t handle suffering well.

Examples:

  • Divorce rate is 70% women initiated. Because women are unhappy.

  • Husbands persist through contentious and shrewish wives in marriage taking on more responsibilities (e.g. choreplay, childcare), while women can’t handle being unhappy.

  • Pastors and wives with unbelieving husbands will go out of their way to make up stuff like “intelligent submission” so they don’t have to submit. Then the sad part is when “intelligent submission” is defended instead of admitting it is being used to rebel against husbands and against the Scriptures.

  • Christian men and husbands would rather cave to women when they are unhappy rather than to tell them it is a normal part of the Christian walk. “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” 2:Timothy 3:12. Suffering is normal for Christians. We do a lot of things in this life that we don’t want to because they should be done.

  • Women are coddled by society, praised and pushed for college and credentialism. Men are put down and no on cares about them. When women fail they are helped as much as possible, especially by white knights. When men fail no one really cares that they are suffering except perhaps their parents.

I agree with a lot of what Deep Strength has to say in his post. Women are indeed coddled- more than men, anyways. There are plenty of women who aren’t coddled out there, of course. Men cave all-the-time (hence “mancaves”). And so on and so forth.

At the same time, I think he is a bit off when he says that women hate suffering. In fact I have written a post on this subject before. A few snippets from that post:

You see, healthy women “like” suffering.

I put quotations around like because it is not a conscious desire, but an unconscious one. Something deep down inside them recognizes that a certain amount of suffering is to be expected, is natural even. As Ace alludes to, this draws from Genesis[.]

Women expect suffering in their life- it is the natural thing. [Think about the vast majority of human history- filled with suffering for pretty much everyone.] When women are too comfortable, when suffering is absent from their life, then it sends a message to their unconscious mind that something is wrong, that what they are living is an unnatural life. That message of unnaturalness will only be repeated over the years as they grow up. They will know, somewhere deep down inside, that something is wrong. Unfortunately, because this is unconscious, they won’t know what it is, exactly, that is wrong.

This will, naturally enough, lead them to feel miserable. The misery is only made worse because they won’t understand it. It will gnaw on their mind incessantly, like an itch you can’t quite reach.

I suspect that part of the reason that women act so crazy in the west today is because of this. Using that itch analogy I just mentioned- women act crazy because they are trying to scratch that itch. Only they don’t quite know how- so they do so in extreme ways. Again, deep down inside they know they should be suffering, so they go out and make themselves suffer (without every truly understanding that is what they are doing).

I think a better word, one that fits what Deep Strength is driving towards, is sacrifice. Women hate sacrifice. They don’t want to have to sacrifice anything to get what they want. A few examples:

  • They say they want a family, but they don’t want to sacrifice their youth, and an education and/or career, to get one.
  • They don’t want to sacrifice their comfort and easy lifestyle for the pain and burden of children, so they opt for birth control and abortion.
  • They don’t want to have to sacrifice their happiness (and time, etc.) for a man whom they find unattractive, and so they opt for divorce.

And so on and so forth.

Later in his post Deep Strength says this:

Christian wives hate suffering and putting their own will aside to display Christ-like behavior. They would rather manipulate the situation around them to be better by their own volition than try it God’s way.

Again, putting aside their own will is a sacrifice. And one they don’t want to have to make. Further, it is one they all too often refuse to make.

Of course, that isn’t really any different from men. Men don’t want to have to sacrifice either. That is just general human nature. The thing is, this is where Deep Strength’s statements about coddling are important.

Women are, on average, far more coddled than men in today’s society. It is far more common for men to be taught and told that they will have to sacrifice to achieve what they want in life, than it is for women. And even then, for women, the scale of the sacrifice they are told to expect is likely to be less.

What does this means? It means that women are less inclined to sacrifice in general. When they must sacrifice, they are inclined to sacrifice less. And of course, they try and shift as much of that burden of sacrifice onto men as they can get away with.

The solution requires confronting this problem head on. Women, of all ages, need to be reminded that we all must sacrifice. Especially as Christians. Our faith is one of self-sacrifice. Without a willingness to sacrifice, well, our Lord and Savior explained what would happen:

18 “Hear then the parable of the sower. 19 When any one hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in his heart; this is what was sown along the path. 20 As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. 22 As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the delight in riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. 23 As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the word and understands it; he indeed bears fruit, and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.”

(Matthew 13:18-23)

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10 Comments

Filed under Blue Pill, Christianity, Churchianity, Civilization, Men, Moral Agency, Parenting, Red Pill, Sin, Temptation, Women

10 responses to “Avoiding Sacrifice

  1. Thought about it a bunch. I think you’re correct.

    I’ll go change my title and edit your post in at the top of it.

  2. It may be more correct to say that:

    Women hate sacrificing in response to suffering.

  3. Pingback: Women hate sacrificing in response to suffering | Christianity and masculinity

  4. Or perhaps this:

    Women hate to sacrifice when it entails suffering.

  5. MK

    I generally disagree; It’s a women’s nature to embrace suffering and sacrifice; She was born for it. But only for unapologetic, real authority.

    Western Civ evolved via religious authority. All gone. So the State exploits men. Women won’t suffer this male weakness, let alone suffer for it. I bet Muslim & Amish women are suffering/sacrificing just fine.

    Guy once witnessed the Church; the unbeliever asked, “Do you really believe that stuff?”. Guy: “i’d die for it”. Unbeliever, wistfully: “I wished I could believe in something like that.” Well, that is everywoman today. She NEEDS to suffer & sacrifice. But to who? What?

    But for the irrationally self-confident man in today’s masculine desert? Women will suffer unbelievable things. Ask Roissy:

    If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

  6. DJ

    I’ve heard that exact sentiment from men and women. “___ are so coddled and selfish they won’t sacrifice their ___ for anyone else or even their future”
    I theorize that what is considered a sacrifice or hard treatment by one isn’t considered difficult for another. So the sacrifices of one, or their feeling of being completly done or exhausted would be easily dismissed by the other.

  7. Ame

    Years ago a friend gave me the book, Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow. I don’t think I ever finished the book, but I keep it close because of the following found on pages 79-80:

    “I paced back and forth as I waited. Eva-with-No-Home was coming to my home. Our home was far from palatial, but compared to homes in Poland, it was a mansion. Many times I wanted a larger house, but today I felt guilty that God had given me so much.

    “Finally Eva and little Monika arrived. They would stay with us for two days and then travel to Innsbruck to visit the family Eva had lived with as a college student. As we toured our house, Eva smiled and said, “How beautiful, Linda. Everything is lovely.” No greed or envy clouded her face.

    “I had a knot in my stomach as I mentally reviewed her housing dilemma. Because there were no apartments available for young couples in Communist Poland, Eva and her husband, Mirek, and little Monika had lived like gypsies during the three years I’d known them. First they lived with Mirek’s parents, then Eva’s. Back and forth from one tiny apartment to the other. Now Eva was pregnant with their second child, and the family still didn’t have a home. If our situations were reversed, I’m sure my face would have been marred by envy.

    “After dinner Eva said she was going upstairs to wash out Monika’s diapers. “Eva,” I said. “You don’t need to wash your daughter’s diapers by hand! I have a washer and dryer. use those.” Eva replied that she was used to hand washing and it wasn’t a problem.

    “After Monika was asleep, Eva and I sat and talked. I asked her the question that had been roaming around in my heart all day. “When you see all the modern conveniences here for mothers of small children – washing machines, disposable diapers, baby food in jars – how do you feel? Life for you in Poland is so much more difficult!”

    “Her response pierced my heart. “Linda, when I lived here in the West, I observed Western women. They have so many things that they don’t need God.”

  8. MK,

    I agree to a point. Certainly, strong leadership makes it easier to submit (and submission also involves sacrifice).

    However, when you ask women to do something they don’t like to do, they still avoid sacrifice (or rather, self sacrifice) like the plague. The better ones have learned to accept it, just like men do.

    Ame,

    Yep, it also has a lot to do with the “richness” of the West. When you can throw “money” at problems, you don’t need “God.”

  9. MK

    DS, agreed. Women need emotional drive. Similar to men and sexual drive. I’m not sure even the better ones (from either sex) are reliable here. As the prayer says, lead us not into temptation. Because we will usually fail.

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