Masculine Monday- #12

*Men Only*

Today’s brief post contains a brief message to men:

Stop apologizing so often.

Apologies should be given out sparingly. At the same time, they should be given out with full earnestness. A man should mean it when he apologizes for a wrong.

Saying you are sorry constantly takes a lot of the oomph from your apologies. They end up meaning little. And if it is really necessary, then it means you might not have really made up for whatever you did.

Also, and I don’t normally use this word… but saying “sorry” a ton comes off as incredibly Beta. It is extremely unattractive. Something to keep in mind.

[Note: there is an exception to the above- a carefully pulled off stream of melodramatic apologies can make for good teasing.]

So, in summary, watch it with apologies- seldom and meaningful should be the order of the day.


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7 responses to “Masculine Monday- #12

  1. Pingback: Masculine Monday- #12 –

  2. Pingback: I Agree … – BlendingAme

  3. Michael Kozaki

    I think any man who believes strongly, firmly, and apologetically in whatever he is taking about can apologize all day long without issue. The real problem is why he is apologizing. If it is to curry favor, or if he cares about what the other person thinks, which most apologies are about, it’s bad deal.

    But if he is truly sorry for something he has crossed his own standards about, it usually comes across as enhancing his strength, not the other way around.

  4. Cautiously Pessimistic

    Related, stop saying “I don’t know.” Particularly in response to questions that aren’t really questions (“Doesn’t that girl look like some celebrity you’ve never heard of,” “I wonder what’s going into that shopping mall we’ve never seen before,” “When are the office hours of that new business we’ve just driven by that you didn’t notice because you were focused on traffic?”).

    But even in response to actual questions, a much better response would be “We/You should look that up,” or similar. No need to make up an answer, but stop using the phrase “I don’t know.” It shouldn’t matter, but I’ve noticed it does.

  5. One problem is that women demand leadership out of men (even if they say otherwise). So apologizing is essentially admitting that your leadership has failed in some way. And if you do it a lot, it means that there is a problem in management.

  6. feeriker

    Related, stop saying “I don’t know.”

    The proper response to the specific examples you cite is “I couldn’t care less. Why do YOU care?”

    A bit wordy, but yes, definitely a better esponse than IDK, with the added benefit of shutting down pointless conversation you’d rather not engage in.

    The real problem is why he is apologizing. If it is to curry favor, or if he cares about what the other person thinks, which most apologies are about, it’s bad deal.

    If a man is being coerced into apologizing because of SJW-instigated threats to disemploy him or take some sort of legal action against him, the proper response is something along the lines of “I’m sorry that your terminally fragile ego and feelings were damaged by what I said/did, but it was the truth/plainly necessary, so I stand firmly by my actions/words.”

  7. anonymous_ng

    When I was married, I apologized all the time. I apologized for invented things, for being cross about things she’d done. I apologized because I was afraid of what a divorce would bring.

    I wish I was then, the man I am now. Had I been, there is a better than even chance I’d still be married, probably happily. Instead, I was a syncophantic doormat, and my fear became reality.

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