Guiding Young Men Through The Red Pill

[Note: this post is going to be one of the rare ones where posting privileges will be restricted to my male readers/commenters. If any female readers/commenters would like to contribute, they can e-mail me what they would like to say. My e-mail can be found at my About page.]

I caught a conversation recently over at Dalrock’s between several male commenters who also happen to be fathers. They were discussing all of the difficulties that come with raising sons and introducing them to the “Red Pill”, and then dealing with what happens after that introduction. Scott, who runs the Courtship Pledge, expressed a desire for a place to continue the conversation, as Dalrock’s wasn’t exactly the proper place for it. I am providing this post so that he and other fathers can continue the discussion. Furthermore, I’m not restricting participation only to biological or legal fathers. Men who are father figures to young men who need guidance through the “Red Pill” are also invited to participate. That can mean older brothers, uncles, cousins or a really close family friend.

One caveat that I should mention is that this post is primarily devoted to helping out Christian young men. As Deep Strength has explained recently, the deep philosophical differences between the secular manosphere and Christian manosphere lead down two different paths. Hence, any discussion needs to be geared towards one, or the other. And since this is a Christian blog, the focus of this post will be in helping, guiding, mentoring or teaching young Christian men.

As far as the discussion goes, I will leave it to those interested to voice their thoughts. I might chime in occasionally, but will leave it to them to kick it off. I will, however, be a bit more active in this post in terms of “trimming” off-topic discussion. If there is a big demand for it I will create a new off-topic post for folks to blow off some steam. But otherwise, keep to the topic. Since its a fairly broad one, I think that should be relatively easy to do.

Update: Related Links:

College Red Pill Truth

Raising Boys in this Brave New World

5 Step Process to Maturity in Relationships

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60 Comments

Filed under Blue Pill, Christianity, Masculinity, Men, Red Pill

60 responses to “Guiding Young Men Through The Red Pill

  1. Pingback: Understanding the friend zone and escaping it | Reflections on Christianity and the manosphere

  2. theshadowedknight

    Donal, it is not only that men are being deprived of wives, but that the entire society has abandoned them. With the amount of contempt society shows white men, the most dangerous of the lot, their withdrawal in sufficient number will be enough to create instability. You only need a few leaders to start something.

    MDavid, the point of The Courtship Pledge is to select for people that are willing to go through all the time and effort to find a spouse. Courtship does all that by letting the parents take a look at the candidates and offer their own advice. It filters out the people who want to go it alone, because it recognizes the authority of parents.

    The Shadowed Knight

  3. Just to make it clear, I wasn’t accusing men of this generation of abdicating responsibility. Or even men of the previous generation. It was the 3-4 generations of men before them who abdicated their responsibility and left us with this mess.

  4. tz

    1. Emphasize and make clear that your son is to remain a Virgin until marriage. (Before the Pill, and the sex-rev, women would be damaged goods, but now that there’s no stigma on THEM, men are not safe).

    2. Indicate that with the possible case-by-case exception of criminal (as opposed to Rolling Stone) rape victims and faithful widows, the first qualification for your spouse will be her virginity. In today’s world, there is too much risk for any woman who is not practicing the same rock-solid chastity – after all, if the man can do it, he can hold the woman to the same standard. This also needs to clearly not be fear or frigidity, but a recognition by the woman that she has a treasure which is only to be shared with her husband.

    3. Gluttony and Sloth are also sins, but I think most of that is from the “eat more birdseed but less calories” advice of government. I would suggest a LCHF diet for one otherwise qualified, and this would be a good test of her temperance, fortitude, and submission. If she won’t even try to give up starches and sweets, NEXT! As far as the SMV scale, if it applies at all, that is another NEXT! A beautiful woman can choose to dress modestly. Let her be a perfect 6 (mathematicians will get the pun) to the world. I think there is a reason Islam doesn’t have such problems even where they start to get modern.

    4. Apropos, I would explain the alpha-beta-etc. distinction as something primates – without rational spirits – do. And that there are some humans without rational spirits. But from there explain that biblical marriage has the man as provider and head, with wife as helpmeet. Whether you like it or not, you’re the CEO and will be held responsible. Stupid CEOs don’t ask for help, but equally Stupid CEOs try to get consensus and just do what the majority want or to keep peace and never take risks. Your wife may have the role of HR, CFO, or something else as her skills and temperament dictate. You can also put fit-tests into this context. Then explain it is easier to work with nature than against it, to not cause temptation or an occasion of sin. You need to be the alpha of the house and act it, and your wife will not have to do custody of the mind – like you need to do custody of the eyes.

    5. Follow Lot out of Sodom and don’t look back. Let the wymyn turn into pillars of salt. For example, I just found out where I’m moving to for many other reasons has closed its state ACLU office. (Maybe Memories Pizza will use the funds to create franchises). If you choose for now to live in San Francisco, New York City, Seattle, or other liberal bastion, it won’t be worth your time. You won’t catch any fish in a desert. The overall ratio might be 1:1000, but in certain places it is two or more orders of magnitude higher or lower. (There is a story of a Father who had a wild daughter, so he moved with her to Barrow, Alaska – maybe the northernmost city). There are huge theological differences between Mormons, Catholics, and Protestants, but generally in a city where the three groups are 90%, your denomination will be far more likely to have sound churches and families. The liberal bastions may have a tolerable conservative church, but it will be an island, and there will be feminized or at least dumbed-down churches. There are good Colleges – go there instead of to a big-name degreed debauchery diploma mill.

    6. White knights need to realize there are few actual “damsels in distress”. The scene from Excalibur with the laughing child Mordred rides around a bunch of hanging dead quest knights comes to mind. Morgana and Mordred don’t need help. Most women today are witches who want to corrupt and kill knights. That you want to practice christian charity is a virtue. That you would neglect to insure you aren’t entering a trap or cooperating with evil is culpable – sinful – negligence. A virtue is easily perverted into a sin when there is no vigilance.

  5. mdavid

    ,,,the first qualification for your spouse will be her virginity.
    Another way to say this is MGTOW. Men living in the real world will get the joke!

    There are huge theological differences between Mormons, Catholics, and Protestants, but generally in a city where the three groups are 90%, your denomination will be far more likely to have sound churches and families.

    Among RC, there are about a dozen universities that are trad, and these are the only places I’ve seen these women among the RC set. Mormons, there are quite a few options. I don’t find a geographical location very important, not nearly as much as insular communities. Many rural areas are really bad. I’ve noticed the best correlations for chastiy: organized religion, wealth, IQ, looks. Expensive and academically strong religious schools tend to be best selectors for these.

  6. mdavid

    To contiue the thought: I just saw an ad for Christendom College (small liberal arts Catholic college) for a high school summer program. It shows young, attractive, clean cut girls (long hair) and guys (athletic) together, clearly appealing to parents who want private colleges to rescue their high school kids!

    This is how fierce it’s gotten: parents aren’t just shelling out $30k per year to give their kids a chance to marry well in college (or the kids going into Indentured servitude with student loans (breadwinner with lib arts degree?). They are now getting them started in high school, and potecting the girls from day 1. I know literally dozens of kids who marry young from these schools. All have been successful; some have even married siblings who never went to the schools but met up later. I would guess 80%+ are seriously devout and virgins.

    Just like good neighborhoods, you must pay outrageous money to have good neighbors. And likewise, you pay to find good wives and husbands. If you were a kid who had parents who didn’t invest in you, you’re pretty much screwed if you want to find a wholesome girl (rural areas don’t help). But the rules of the game are in place; no need to reinvent the wheel.

    For men, I recommend a state school engineering program or trade schol with half of the credits taken in HS before 18 yo, and degree by 20 yo (zero social life) then then intern or volunteer at traditional schools to find a date and have fun. Solves both problems. But plan to marry before age 25, go MGTOW, or pray for a miracle. Here is where I saw the ad for a laugh: http://www.catholicculture.org/commentary/the-city-gates.cfm?id=1021

  7. If you were a kid who had parents who didn’t invest in you, you’re pretty much screwed if you want to find a wholesome girl (rural areas don’t help).

    Yup. The single most important thing is simply being in the right circle. If your parents didn’t ensure that, then you are pretty much out of luck. At least, that is what my own experiences have taught me.

  8. A female reader would like me to pass along something with regards to the “friend zone.” Namely, that men should be careful not to jump to conclusions when dealing with very traditional or conservative young women. If they were raised properly, then they might be very reserved and keep a man at arm’s length at first. If they take marriage seriously, then they may act or treat a man like a friend at first. Only when they think he might be worth spending the rest of their lives with him will they open up.

    I suspect that there is some truth to this. A man needs to be able to spot the difference between caution and indifference. And a woman who really does want to do right will try and act reserved, and might overcompensate there out of a desire to remain chaste/proper. So a woman’s background is something to keep in mind.

    Of course, a major factor in friendzoning is a man’s own actions. If he treats her like just a friend, then he risks that much more than if he makes his interests clear from the get-go.

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