A Word Of Advice… or An Inadvertent Admission

Today’s post is inspired by an article that was linked over at Dalrock‘s blog. The article, found at a website called Girls Ask Guys, is a real gem. Without further ado:

I see a TON of guys on here who are so depressed over not having a girlfriend and are so pissed at the guys who seem to get all the girls. the reality is, you will find some one, most of you are young and you have SO much time before you actually find “the one.” Also, the guys you are all jealous of are generally not good guys. I have generally dated “bad boy” types that I am always attracted to because they’re really attractive, exciting, and don’t fawn all over me. Unfortunately, the majority of them have lied, cheated, and manipulated the shit out of our relationships. I have no doubt that I will end up with a “nice guy” and I can tell you with a fair amount of confidence that most girls will because no girl with self respect sticks around with a “bad boy” in less he reforms himself. I have to say I hope for the reformed bad boy, but he is a rare bird and once he’s reformed, who’s to say he’ll be exciting anymore? Anyway, keep hope alive you guys, most of you sound like very caring, kind, and interesting guys who have a lot to offer.

Update: update: you guys are hard to please. I am trying to say girls make mistakes with ‘bad boys” but the good guys win out in the end. I thought that got through, but for some of you I guess it didn’t and I’m sorry. I was trying to encourage you to be good to women.    3 days ago

Update: I really hit a nerve! I apologize! I would also like to clarify though: I am not a gold digger, I am not a liar, and I am not trying to change any guy that I date from the person who he is. I guess I am drawn to guys who are a little edgy and that can be tough, but hopefully I’ll end up with a guy who suits that and is also a mature and loving human being.    2 days ago

Update: YIKES.    Yesterday

I must admit, my initial reaction was pleasant surprise. It is rare to see such honesty these days, especially from a woman in the context of relationships. Even though I am revolted by her actions and her philosophy, I have to respect the chutzpah that leads her to pull back the curtain and let guys know what is really going on. One of the chief problems with women playing the AFBB (Alpha F—-, Beta Bucks) game is that they usually deny doing it. That kind of deception can sucker in and deceive naive but otherwise good men who think that these women really care for them. Honesty like this can save a lot of men from making what would probably be the worst decision of their life by marrying a former carousel rider. She is doing a public service by warning men about what is really going on in the “dating” world.

On a related note, women like this put me in a difficult position. As Denise noted here, we should be careful about confusing subjective evaluations into objective statements about another person’s worth. I believe in repentance and redemption. I believe, no, I know that people can turn their lives around. Yet I don’t see how I could ever recommend that any man ever marry this woman. As in ever. The risks associated with this woman, and those like her, are astronomical. Yes, I know she could honestly and earnestly repent. But how can any man ever know this to any reasonable degree of certainty? When a woman’s avowed life strategy is to dupe some “nice guy” into marrying her after the Bad Boys are done with her, I don’t see how she could ever be trusted in this respect. At least, not in the present environment. Perhaps a “reformed Bad Boy” would fare alright, but given her statement about him possibly no longer being exciting, even that is suspect.

So, how out of line is my thinking here? Am I being too fearful? Does it make me a hypocritical Christian? Or is this just a necessary precaution in today’s world?


Filed under Alpha, Alpha Widow, Attraction, Beta, LAMPS, Masculinity, Men, Sex, Uncategorized, Women

61 responses to “A Word Of Advice… or An Inadvertent Admission

  1. Elspeth

    LOL, Deti.

    When Ton and 8to12 say it, you acknowledge that it’s true. I’ve said the same thing to you countless times and every time you shoot me down: “No! They are NOT looking for love.”

    I’m glad you’re finally getting it even if you’ll only accept it from a man.

  2. Ton

    To be fair darling, he should only accept such things from other men.

  3. Yes men are pissed. They were lied to, the lie was easy to believe, gave them an easy out to manhood, one that made sense to them and now they are cranky about it. Most betas still think their beta male selves should be the rational choice. Which is false, but they believe it so they are still cranky

    You know, there are some things you write that are pure gold. Of course that only happens when I don’t think you’re hating on me. Should you have more to expand on with this, I would love to feature it as a guest post. We know quite a few men personally (who read our blog) who could benefit so much from this – spoken as only you can.

  4. Ton

    lol, I think you are make the assumption I am a deep thinker. Trust me, I am not.

    Hit me up via email and maybe we can figure out what you would like for me to expand on.

  5. deti

    No Elspeth, that’s not really what I said. If you read carefully, what I actually said was that women like the one in the OP go ahead and sleep with the bad boy knowing full well he will pump and dump her. In fact, she said pretty much exactly that. So actually I’m sticking to my story that women sleeping with the bad boyt and looking for the sex, not love.

  6. deti

    bad boys ARE looking for the sex, not love.


  7. The woman quoted in the OP doesn’t seem to grasp that the measure of sin is not “harm”, nor are all “harms” immediately apparent. Someone with this attitude is a huge, huge risk, because they’ll do all sorts of incredibly stupid or wicked things without thinking beyond what might happen in the next few minutes–or in eternity–all because they can convince themselves “no harm!” (And then, when the harm comes, they protest, “OMG didn’t see that coming! That’s not fair! You can’t blame me! It’s not my fault!”)

    She is not comporting herself according to how a Christian woman should, or according to how ANY Christian should. She does not have a God-centered attitude. She has no charity.

    Bad risk. Until this changes, and it probably never will (because check out the biceps on that hamster of hers!), she is absolutely not marriage material.

    And no, it is not “fear” to act prudently, which we are supposed to do as Christians.

  8. FuzzieWuzzie

    What is not addressed here is that modern women’s attration cues are warped beyond the point to lead to a practical and beneficial outcome. I’ve no idea how to fix that. However, what hasn’t happened yet in this sexual/marriage marketplace is a collective male response. It is coming and women won’t like it. It will reduce options.
    Given all the talk about AF/BB, I strongly suspect that BB won’t be an option.

  9. I’ve no idea how to fix that.

    Well. To some extent, not affirming or rewarding those warped bits could help, but it’s not a complete repair. Since the problem takes root in worldliness, the cure is to eradicate worldliness in the heart. And that’s an individual process, not a global one, in the end.

  10. jack

    No Rings for Sluts ™

    Ignore me now, I ignore you later.
    And I will laugh at you when you hit the wall. And I will do all in my power to make you feel immensely undesirable. I will wound your pride and devastate your ego.

  11. Pingback: Lightning Round -2014/02/05 | Free Northerner

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