[Slight change of plans. The post I alluded to on Sunday is being pushed back, to accommodate this shorter post and a future one on Game. Not sure when I will finish it.]
One of the various proverbs that sometimes appears around the Manosphere is that “Women are True to Themselves.” I prefer a slightly different take:
Women are True to their Feelings
Given what is known about female nature, I think this more accurately conveys the scope of the female psyche. Women are guided by, and defined by, their feelings. This extends to every aspect of their lives. Including their memories.
In his latest post, Ace over at 80 Proof Oinomancy talks about how social media sites like Facebook help women develop a special type of amnesia:
An electronic Lethe, in which the constant immersion imparts forgetfulness that there are many more reading their confessions, rages, demands, diatribes, attacks and cuts than they believe.
I think that this phenomenon goes further than just social media though. Or that men might be watching. It is my belief that the centrality of feelings to the female mind lets them forget nearly anything.
What do I mean by this?
Simple: A woman’s memory is largely tied to her feelings at the time of that memory. A woman will actively remember something if she feels an emotional connection or stimulation similar to what she experienced when the previous event took place. Furthermore, it is the emotions connected to the event that resonate the most with her, and the two are inextricably linked in a woman’s mind. If a memory is forced to her mind, but her present emotional state differs greatly from that in the memory, then something special happens. The woman develops a unique form of amnesia that conveniently allows her to “forget” that memory, or at least, the important parts of it.
This explains why women are true to their feelings, and not their word. Especially in the context of a promise. Or a vow.
A married woman who decides to blow up her marriage because she is unhaaaaaaapy doesn’t really remember her vows, at least, not in the sense that a man would. This is because her present feelings (unhappiness, discontent, unease) do not match the emotions that were associated with her wedding (happiness, joy, excitement, contentment) when she gave those vows. So when someone reminds her of her vows, the disparity in feelings between now and then are such that she forms a mental barrier to that past memory. Amnesia clouds her mind, and those sacred vows just fade away into the mist of forgetfulness.
Thankfully I have not seen that particular example myself. But I have seen others.
I have had women make promises to me, promises born of feelings. And then, when those feelings were long gone, the promises were too. They disappeared into the rabbit hole of their minds. Of course, I can remind women of these promises. Sometimes I do. But they only remember the words they said, not the intent behind it, because that is wrapped up in a feeling long gone. Unless I keep harping on them, they will continue to forget. No matter how “important” those promises were at the time.
Because it was never the promise that was important. It was the feeling the promise imparted in them.
[This seems especially common when the promise was made when the woman wanted to feel good about my feeling bad. Or to be more accurate, when she felt bad about my feeling bad. ]
Truth is, if you want a woman to actually remember something, to really remember it…. Fully…. Clearly…. Then you must not only remind her of what was said or done, but how she felt.
She is a creature of feelings.
Recreate the feeling… and you recreate the memory.
Ace also touched on something similar in a different post as well.