The topic of Moral Agency in women is among the first subjects that I discussed on this blog, in part to preserve a post and discussion that took place on Sunshine Mary’s old blog. Since that first post, I left the subject fallow for a long time, until a comment left on that post led me to tell the commenter’s story in Confessions of a Good Christian Girl. After reading her story, I thought long and hard on the subject, and went back through my previous post and the comments there. Rather than write a long post trying to hash out new ground, which wouldn’t really be new, I instead decided to briefly state some of the more important ideas that have emerged as a result of those posts, and then develop them further.
12 Therefore let any one who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
(1 Cor 10:12-13)
This verse has been quoted often by those who disagree with my assertions on moral agency. And I can understand why, from a simple reading of it one could easily gather that we can always resist giving in to temptation. But that simple reading fails to take into account the most important word in verse 13: escape. Other translations of course provide different interpretations, although escape is common. While a few use “bear it”, most make some sort of reference to moving or getting through it. This distinction is important, even essential, as it gets to the heart of my theory.
You see, a woman simply cannot face the temptation of a Dominant Alpha Male and resist his charms forever. If her goal is to resist temptation, to not give in, then she must escape, she must move through or past that temptation. In essence, she needs to get away from him. As long as he is nearby, and without other sources of moral authority to guide her, she is vulnerable. This is the central message of Jesus in Matthew 5:29, to remove from our presence those things which lead us to sin.
The Good Christian Girl (“GCG”) who lost her virtue foolishly believed that she could hang around that Bad Boy and escape giving in to temptation, to giving in to sin. What her pride and arrogance blinded her to was that she had already given in to temptation by letting herself get too close to him, and then staying near him. She knew before then that he was trouble, but despite this chose not to escape. What came next was pretty much inevitable.
The Die is Cast
Another major concept that these discussions have explored is the “moment of decision.” That is, when exactly you give in to temptation. My argument is that the moment when most women give into to temptation around a Dominant Alpha Male is much sooner than they, or anyone else, thinks. These easiest way to think of this is as a series of concrete steps, rather than just one big event or a point on a scale. So, instead of saying:
A Good Christian Girl agrees to go out on a date with an Alpha and ends up sleeping with him.
You get this:
1) GCG agrees to go out on a date with an Alpha
2) GCG goes out on the date with the Alpha
3) CGC doesn’t drive, but lets Alpha pick her up and drive her to the date
4) GCG drinks some wine while out on the date with the Alpha
5) GCG agrees to let Alpha take her back home
6) GCG invites Alpha into her home “just for a coffee or something”
7) GCG and Alpha start to engage in “kino”
8) GCG make out
9) GCG and/or Alpha start to remove clothing
10) CGC loses virginity to Alpha
When you break it all up like that, you can start to see the problem with saying that the woman can resist. Until you get to point 9, there is nothing that makes it obvious that the woman is going to engage in fornication. And yet, when you examine the overall context of the situation, you can see that each point involves giving in to some measure of temptation. Certainly by point 6 the GCG has already given in to enough temptation that what comes next seems only natural. The problem is that because each point is so minor, the obvious temptation so seemingly insignificant, it becomes very, very easy to give in along the way. By the time you get to the “point of no return”, the GCG has already given into so much temptation it is probably too late for her to realize what is going on, especially when you factor in the next idea.
There’s too much Confusion…
The last major idea I broached concerns the mental state of women in these kinds of situations. As I explained it in my original post:
The essence of the theory is this: the female brain might work in such a way that if a woman were to find herself in a position where she was under the influence of a man with a dominant, masculine frame, the rational part of her mind stops working properly. She can’t think straight. The only things running through her head are base instincts, with desire for the man being the most paramount.
Every straight guy around can tell you that we have trouble thinking clearly when a beautiful woman is around (except perhaps those men who are so successful with women they are no longer fazed by them). For women it is probably worse. We men must become accustomed to our sex drive. It is pretty much always active, and always interfering with our ability to think clearly. Women, however, do not have that active of a sex drive. Theirs is less potent, and “flares” much less often than a man’s. This means that women do not have the same experience in overcoming the effects of their sex drive in their thinking that men do. As a result, women will be less likely to act rationally in a situation where they have become sexually excited.
Also, I have talked with some folks familiar with PUA concepts and the lifestyle, and they have relayed to me similar thoughts. One explained that for women the “mental aspect” of sex begins much sooner than it does with men, and the result is that they stop thinking clearly sooner than men. That same man explained that one way women manifest this is when they go “Doe Eyed”, a sort of dreamy stare directed at a man which is indicative of unfettered attraction for the men. While that man didn’t take advantage of the situation, he explained that he would have had no problem doing so; once a woman enters the “Doe Eyes” state she has essentially surrendered her agency to a man.
The most solid advice to be offered to women who want to maintain their virtue is to never allow themselves to get into a position where there isn’t someone else around to stop things from getting out of hand. Use the buddy system. Don’t drink if it will affect your thinking. Never invite a man whose integrity you are uncertain of into your home at night, or enter his home at night. Most important of all, never assume that you can always resist. Flight, not fight, is your best option when temptation is concerned.
So, to the “Good Christian Girls out there, remember this: as a woman, you were meant to be conquered. When alone with an attractive man, every cell in your body will scream for you to yield yourself to him, to be conquered by him. So guard yourself, guard your virtue. Ensure that when you are in a situation where you might yield, it is a situation where you want to yield, a situation otherwise known as your wedding night.