What I’ve Been Up To Lately

I thought with this post I would provide a little insight into who I am. Namely, by providing some links to what I’ve been reading lately, as well as delving into my personality a bit.

Feed Your Head

Here are some of the posts that I have found particularly enlightening over the last week or two:

What are we teaching about what it means to be a Christian?– Loving in the Ruins

Types of Wives– Hearth to be Lovely

Rebellion as a Deadly Threat, and How to Love Men– Calculated Bravery

Zeal and Discernment– His Lordship’s Domain

Is Provision something we selected for? -Sarahs’ Daughter

and its follow up:

Do you need her help?

Frank Musings on Women’s Modesty – Resting in Apricity

Guest Post – by Zippy Catholic

(There was also a deep conversation that took place been Zippy, Scott and Cane Caldo in Zippy’s About page which I recommend to those interested in Christian theology and philosophy. It starts roughly here.)

Good Manners/Etiquette– Embrace Your Femininity

Christianity’s 26 Idols of the Age– Amos and Gromar

“What she said was not for the job or lover that she never had…” – Ace of Spades

The List and My List– Free Northerner

Marry the Lieutenant– TempestTcup

Uneasy Quiet– The Social Pathologist

Oh, and in honor of the title to this section:

 Who is that Masked Man?

Spurred onward by someone who is wiser than I, I decided to take a Myers-Briggs Personality test to see where I placed. The results, which were based on this test, were as follows:

Strength of individual traits: Introversion – 49%, Intuition – 4%, Thinking – 16%, Judging – 33%.

So apparently I am an INTJ. Unsurprising, as I had tested myself years before and found the same results. Although I think the previous results were stronger in all of the fields. A little bit about INTJs:

The INTJ personality type is one of the rarest and most interesting types – comprising only about 2% of the U.S. population (INTJ females are especially rare – just 0.8%), INTJs are often seen as highly intelligent and perplexingly mysterious. INTJ personalities radiate self-confidence, relying on their huge archive of knowledge spanning many different topics and areas. INTJs usually begin to develop that knowledge in early childhood (the “bookworm” nickname is quite common among INTJs) and keep on doing that later on in life.

NTJ personalities are perfectionists and they enjoy improving ideas and systems they come in contact with. As INTJs are naturally curious, this tends to happen quite frequently. However, they always try to remain in the rational territory no matter how attractive the end goal is – every idea that is generated by the INTJ’s mind or reaches it from the outside needs to pass the cold-blooded filter called “Is this going to work?”. This is the INTJ’s coping mechanism and they are notorious for applying it all the time, questioning everything and everyone.

INTJ personalities also have an unusual combination of both decisiveness and vivid imagination. What this means in practice is that they can both design a brilliant plan and execute it. Imagine a giant chess board where the pieces are constantly moving, trying out new tactics, always directed by an unseen hand – this is what the INTJ’s imagination is like. An INTJ would assess all possible situations, calculate strategic and tactical moves, and more often than not develop a contingency plan or two as well. If someone with the INTJ personality type starts working with a new system, they will regard the task as a moral obligation, merging their perfectionism and drive into one formidable force. Anyone who does not have enough talent or simply does not see the point, including the higher ranks of management, will immediately and likely permanently lose their respect.

Most of this seems a fairly accurate assessment of my personality. I am definitely a bookworm, and approach most of life from a highly rational perspective. While I can be very emotional at times, I rarely show it, and certainly not in public. I love strategy games of all types, except, funnily enough, for chess (which I find lacking in depth compared to other games, the rules being too restrictive). Imagination? Check. Plans? Love ’em, especially when they turn out as they should. Despise higher-ups who get in the way of fixing problems? Double check.

I found the section on flaws to be particularly apt:

Every personality type has many weak spots and INTJs are not an exception. There is one area where their brilliant mind often becomes completely useless and may even hinder their efforts – INTJs find it very difficult to handle romantic relationships, especially in their earliest stages. People with this personality type are more than capable of loving and taking care of the people close to them, but they are likely to be completely clueless when it comes to attracting a partner.

That certainly describes me to a T. I suspect that many other manospherians tend to fall into this category as well. Driven by curiosity, I decided to see what else they had to say about INTJ’s and relationships. Some of it I found fascinating because it matches a bit of my experiences:

Paradoxically, someone with the INTJ personality is most likely to attract a romantic partner when they are not actually looking for one. As most INTJs have difficulties with dating and relationships, their self-confidence takes a major hit in those situations and the INTJ then overcompensates by showing off their intelligence, which makes them even more unattractive. Only when the INTJ returns to his or her usual self, their self-confidence starts glowing again and this makes it much easier for them to attract a partner.

This is something that has been a challenge for me for most of my life. Looking into my past, I realize I had more success attracting women who didn’t interest me as compared to those who did. This is because when I did direct my attention to an individual woman, my “Beta” (lack of Masculine Power) personality became more apparent.

The part on leaving relationships struck me in a powerful way:

People with the INTJ personality type may terminate the relationship if they are confident that it is at risk of breaking down, and not look back. INTJs’ approach to dating is quite similar – they will not keep trying if their mind is telling them that the likelihood of a strong relationship is very low. However, the calm exterior can be deceiving – it is more than likely that the INTJ will feel very hurt inside and spend extensive amounts of time figuring out what went wrong, especially if they had devoted a lot of time to dating or making the relationship work.

I tend to be very self-critical, and don’t take failure particularly well. While I don’t emotionally invest easily, I tend to invest heavily whenever I do. So I can easily see this assessment being accurate. I have no doubt that if I need to, I can and will walk away from something that won’t work. But it will hurt just the same.

Perhaps more relevant than the other parts of the relationship advice section were the suggestions on personality traits to look for in a mate:

Preferred partners: ENFP and ENTP types, as E and P outweigh the introvert and judgemental tendencies of INTJs. INFJs are also a very strong match as the intuitive connection between INTJ and INFJ is likely to be instantaneous.

That gives some ideas on the kinds of personalities I should search for. I’m not sure how much of a match I really would be for an extrovert; I need to give this further thought. Unfortunately, the logical alternative, INFJs, are also the rarest of the different personality types. Finding one who also meets my criteria is easier said than done. Well, no one ever said it would be easy.


And that brings this post to a close. Feel free to post other links you think are worthy of inclusion. Or you can analyze my personality and try to plumb the depths of my soul. Of course, if you would rather talk about Myers-Briggs in general, or discuss your own personality type, then be my guest.



Filed under Masculinity, Men, Red Pill

44 responses to “What I’ve Been Up To Lately

  1. I to can relate to much of the INTJ qualities being one myself.
    Especially the aspect of attracting women I had no intention of attracting. It happened in college all the time.

  2. Yup. Of course, I only realize how frequent it was now, years later. Not that it would have been terribly helpful to have known then though.

  3. Deep Strength

    From what I’ve read around the ‘sphere it seems like a lot of men are INTJs. I am one as well.

    I think it happens because we know that there is something fundamentally wrong in our observation of society and the Church, and then we search out answers everywhere including the web to find them. It just so happens that the Christian ‘sphere holds answers.

    It is then these types of men who are writing a lot of the blogs on analysis of intersex relationships precisely because of the ability to see the big picture and break complex things down to a simple level.

  4. Many thanks for the menton.

    I’m glad I could help.

    Side note. I find it interesting that I’m on that list twice, really.

    My words, it seems, are making their way.

  5. Another nt here.

    The intjs are prone to systems thinking, but may not be interested in the finer details. The anal retentive istjs can deal with that.

    Nts want to know how stuff works. It drives people crazy. Not just why, but how. As said, I think this has driven a lot of healthy introspection across the manosphere.

    Plus being an introvert, being around people is exhausting. By the end of the working week I just want to run away from everybody.

  6. Elspeth

    Thanks for the linkage, Donal.

    [Ed: You are welcome.]

  7. femininebutnotfeminist

    Hmmm, this does pretty much seem to describe you from what I’ve seen. “Often seen as highly intelligent and perplexingly mysterious”… that’s an understatement!!!

    I just had to go take the test myself and my results were ~ Introversion 71%, Intuition 27%, Feeling 44%, Judging 2% ~ aka INFJ 🙂

  8. Thank you for the link, Donal 🙂

    INTJ’s are interesting. My father is a very INTJ personality, with an emphasis on the J. lol
    I think that’s why I find INTJ’s a little bit endearing. They can come off a bit cold sometimes, but I think there’s much more behind it, they strike me as a type that are misunderstood by many people, and I find that endearing.
    But I’m an INFJ, who tries to read more into more people and their “feelings”, and when I come across INTJ’s I’m intrigued because I can’t get an instant read on their feelings..which makes me want to dig deeper and then I appreciate their personality more. I think it’s a very man-brain type personality to have, and the Introverted part means it’s not too overbearing in your face type thinking.

  9. femininebutfeminist.. same as me! woohoo! 😀

    I think many of the women in this part of the internet are maybe infj’s … and the men intj’s.

    Here’s mine. Your personality type: INFJ.

    Strength of individual traits: Introversion – 60%, Intuition – 67%, Feeling – 91%, Judging – 48%.

  10. femininebutnotfeminist

    @ embracingourfemininity

    Ditto on your last two paragraphs

  11. femininebutnotfeminist

    “I think many of the women in this part of the internet are maybe infj’s … and the men intj’s.”

    I think you’re right! 🙂

  12. @ femininebutnotfeminist

    I think that is one of our strengths:D..we are always looking for more than what is apparent on the surface in a person. This means we can see potential in others, and feel the urge to nurture it and-love others for traits that some people can’t even see they possess. I think there’s an attraction to “mystery” and people that we find more difficult to figure out.. and INTJ’s are definitely mysterious. I think S types are less inclined to try and work out that mystery. It’s the N types who are like “Hmmmm…this person is perplexing, and interesting!”

    I don’t think I’ve met another female INFJ in real life before that I know of( not that I go around asking everybody their Myers Briggs type LOL that would be kind of creepy).. 🙂

  13. @femininebutnotfeminist. Do you have a blog? I just clicked your name but it just took me to a blank wordpress page 😦

  14. femininebutnotfeminist


    Ditto again! No blog yet. I’m still pretty new to the manosphere and still learning. I plan to try my hand at it one day soon, though I don’t know when yet. When I do I will let you know if you want 🙂

  15. Okie dokie.. yep, please let me know, I’m looking forward to it 😀

  16. INteresting, two INFJs showing up at my blog… makes me wonder if they are more common in this part of the ‘net.

  17. @ EOF
    Being an INTJ myself, I offer my sympathies for growing up with one as your father. =)

    We do tend to be regarded as cold often, but its mostly because we are so caught up in what is happening inside our head that we don’t let it show through. I think that the reason for the strong connection to INFJs is because they provide the kind of emotional connectivity we long for, but have difficulty expressing.

  18. @ FNBF

    Let me know when you decide to start the blog so that I can add you to the blogroll.

  19. femininebutnotfeminist

    @ EOF and Donal,

    I will let you both know, thank you for the interest!

    @ Donal,

    “Makes me wonder if they are more common in this part of the ‘net”… perhaps our “intuition” eventually leads us to people and places who are saying the things we know deep down (even if not conciously) that we would be wise to listen to 🙂

    On a more silly note…. anybody ever take the “which cartoon character are you?” Online personality quiz? It’s hardly scientific but seems to be amazingly accurate…

  20. @ femininebutnotfeminist. Have you got a link to it? 🙂

  21. the disney personality test that is..

  22. cartoon character one.. oops LOL

  23. @ FBNF

    Now I somewhat curious as to which cartoon character I am.

  24. femininebutnotfeminist

    lol, sorry guys, I’m hunting for the link now. Don’t google it, you will get the wrong ones (copycats). I believe it’s accurate because it said one of my cousins is the Grinch, which is soooo spot on! It said I am Winnie the Pooh, lol (I think it said for being too nice, gullible, naive, good, and cute, per the results). Stay tuned, I will keep looking…

  25. I tried to Google it, and found those copycats. Not impressed with them. After hearing some of the possibilities, I’m starting to get worried.

  26. Pingback: Reader Poll- Personality | Donal Graeme

  27. femininebutnotfeminist

    lol, don’t be worried! I took every test I could find but never found the right one… I got every answer from charlie brown to spongebob to the little mermaid plus others, none even remotely accurate. Oh well, that teaches me to always find the link BEFORE opening my mouth. Sorry all! (Although it was something my cousin’s friend found on facebook a long while back, and since I don’t care for facebook I can’t search on there… maybe someone else can if they have one.)

  28. I had a suspicion Frank is an infj.

  29. I came out as an ISFP, I’ve tested as other things before but this seems to be the closest fit. The most baffling thing is that I’ve also tested as an INTJ and that fit relatively well too. I think that’s because both of my brothers are INTJs, so I learned to imitate the thinking style. However, I definitely struggle with technical fields, most notably math. I have to ask NSR for help calculating tips at restaurants.

  30. ENTJ.
    Strength of individual traits: Extraversion – 29%, Intuition – 20%, Thinking – 16%, Judging – 20%.

    Experiences combined with the way I was raised made me develop a horrible shyness in high school, that I still deal with to this day in certain situations. Especially women. I’ve found the extrovert generally makes me act more impulsively than INTJ’s once I feel I understand a situation or problem well enough, rather than pursue detailed analysis of a system. Once I’m confident enough to grasp a situation, I’d much rather act and than improvise any necessary adjustments, which tend to be few and manageable. The best leadership I’ve experienced in relationships and profession environments are when I do just that.

  31. Hence the Leap in your name? 🙂

    INFP here, and yep from memory Frank and Elspeth are INFJ’s…
    Will be interesting to see the results of your poll Donal, good idea breaking it up into sexes.

  32. Thanks Hannah. I’m curious what the break-down is. I have always known I have a fair number of female readers, and plenty of those who comment are female. But I have never been certain as to the actual percentages. Part of me suspect that the readership percentages are quite a bit different from the comment numbers.

  33. Hah. Yeah, that’s about right Hannah. My life could easily be described as leaps of faith taken in succession – some more successful than others.

    Man, I hadn’t read the description when I posted my first comment, but I wish I had read this description long ago. It would have avoided much less turmoil as I kept attempting to live like an introvert with my shyness, and rather spend the time developing the social skills I needed.

    “Ironically, ENTJs must have the support of other people in order to be truly efficient. They are great leaders, but even the most brilliant mind cannot do everything by itself. This is especially true for ENTJs, whose confidence partially depends on the feedback they receive from their “audience”. Consequently, ENTJs should try to pay more attention to other people’s feelings or at least pretend that they do – most mature and successful ENTJs do that to some extent, even though their sensitivity may hide a cold and calculating mind.

    All these personality traits relate to ENTJ’s behavior in the professional environment. People with this personality type often believe that any expression of emotions is a display of weakness, but that does not mean that they cannot be loving and sensitive in a different environment. Feelings and emotions are definitely the Achilles’ heel of most ENTJs and they are likely to find it very difficult to reveal the emotional side of their mind. Even the most confident ENTJ is likely to feel quite powerless in such situations.

    People belonging to this type should make conscious efforts to develop that aspect of their personality – this does not have to affect their behavior in the workplace, but any ENTJ would benefit tremendously from combining a good grip on their emotions with that rare gift of extraordinary charisma and confidence.”

  34. femininebutnotfeminist

    @ ar10308,

    Hehe, funny! I especially liked the “Come out!!! HSSS!!!” picture 🙂

  35. I took this test before and got INTJ — I didn’t think much about it because I was unfamiliar with how it’s rather uncommon. I am now surprised it was my result, and I think it was barely so, because I remember my introversion and intuition being only in the high 50% (like 57 or 58%) so I think I am more balanced. My judgment was something like 89%, which doesn’t surprise me because I am a very black and white thinker. I responded to your poll!

  36. Thanks for the linklove, Donal! 🙂

    INFJ, fwiw. 😉

  37. I took two different tests earlier in the year (I got posts if you want ’em) and both came out INTJ. I took a third test from yet another source just last week and got INTJ. But the one you linked to listed me as INTP.

    The questions on this particular test were trickier for me to answer than the other three, they weren’t as clear-cut somehow. Kinda like wading through mud instead of water. Unlike the other tests which listed the “P” as “Perceiving,” this one had it stand for “Prospecting.” After reading the profiles and “strengths and weaknesses” sections for both types, I’m not quite sure which one I am. Both have elements that apply to me, and elements that don’t. There was a significant amount of overlap between the profiles where elements applied to me.

    My Judging vs Perceiving scores ran pretty close on 2 of the 3 previous tests, unlike the other traits which leaned pretty heavily INT.

    As usual, it seems no one can quite place me in a neat category. Not sure if that’s good or bad.

  38. Thanks for the link!

    Both my husband and I are INTJ – he is more borderline than I am, thank goodness! It is funny, though that so many of us here are when out in the wild, we are very rare.

  39. @ NSR

    You are probably in the middle when it comes to J and P. Not unheard of. People change over time, and not everyone is a solid one trait over the other. I used to be more strongly INTJ, and my suspicion is that you used to be more J than you are now.

    @ Tempest

    Welcome. Not terribly shocked by your answer. This section of the web contains a lot of INTJ’s, especially women. But also a fair amount of INFJ women as well. Probably because they are more attuned to the injustice/wrongs of the present age, especially as against men.

    @ Amanda

    Thanks for responding.

    @ Leap

    Given your background, I’m not surprised to find you to be an extrovert.

  40. I’ve found that, being a ESFP, the Red Pill was a revelation in terms of gender relations; I’d seen these things operating in the background but never been able to express them or identify their root causes, which helps me to get the insight that INTJ’s hold.

    Good on you guys for keeping up the good work.

  41. @ Silverharness

    Well, the thing is that us INTJs tend to be pretty clueless about women unless we find out from others, or somehow manage to get a lot of personal experience with them. Of course, once we understand that women are truly different, we can start to dig deeper and make-headway. But I don’t think this is a natural inclination on our part, at least those of us who are men.

  42. What I meant to say was that, as an INTJ, once you discover Game your type is naturally more suited to describing it accurately and distilling the major concepts on blogs like these. I’m pretty sure Rollo and most of the other major Manosphere writers would fall into this category as well.

  43. Pingback: Rethinking the Scale and Testing Subjectivity | Donal Graeme

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