I hope to finish the second part of my latest series tonight. Its working title is “The Righteous Alpha.” [vR’s name, not mine]*
A discussion/debate in the comments of this post at Sunshine Mary’s blog got me thinking about how my parents raised me and my past interactions with women. After having dredged over what I can remember of my adult life, I now realize several things. The first is that I was receiving more female attention in the past than I realized. A lot more. Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize the IOIs for what they were back then. The second thing is that I believe I might have been accidentally playing a form of “Aloof Game” back then, which helped somewhat with the attraction. Of course, the more I directed my attentions at a woman, the less effective this became as my “White Knight Beta” personality had a chance to manifest itself. Lastly, I really, really didn’t understand women back then. I mean, wow. I missed so many signs, so many obvious IOIs. Part of me wishes that I hadn’t been so blind. But another part of me is glad for it, as I worry that I didn’t have the self-discipline and control then that I do now.
After reading through the last few posts over at Sunshine Mary’s blog concerning sex and commitment, I found myself thinking over the way that women approach marriage and its intersection with sexual intercourse. I spent some time pondering if it was a natural female tendency to try and use sex as a bargaining chip to secure commitment. On the one hand, this makes some sense to me and seems to be a common occurence, but on the other hand I know women (or have heard of them) for whom this inclination was not present. Women who didn’t/don’t treat sex flippantly as a bargaining chip, and some of these women aren’t/weren’t Christians. While I couldn’t reconcile this, I did come to an epiphany concerning the kind of woman I am looking for:
I don’t want a woman who will have sex with me so that she can marry me.
I want a woman who will marry me so that she can have sex with me.
This idea isn’t entirely mine, I have heard some similar thoughts before. Mostly from Christians who married while still chaste, and married in part because it meant they could (finally) have sex.
I might update this post in the next few hours in case I’ve forgotten something.
*Update: Not going to be able to finish that post today, probably not until Thursday in fact.