Philosophical Ramblings

My mind has been scattered these past few days, likely a result of the fact that I have been in something of a funk as of late. The scatter-brained effect has made it difficult to write anything meaningful and coherent, while the funk has left me pondering deep matters. So all I have been able to write is short snippets that are little more than philosophical ramblings at this point. Or at least, I would like to think that they are worthy of that description, rather than just words thrown at the screen to see what sticks. The probable reason for my current state of mind also happens to be the first subject:

1) I feel like I was born in the wrong time. Part of me is certain that there has to be some kind of mistake, because I don’t feel at ease in this day and age. Something in me is convinced that I was born fifty or a hundred years too late. Whether it is moral restraint, cowardice or something else, I find myself completely unsuited to our current Sexual Markeplace. I long for the days of courtship and feminine women who saved themselves for marriage and a community which would help you find a match. As it is, I feel like a Stranger in a Strange Land. Or just simply Strange…

2) Hard Monogamy forces Men to be pseudo-hypergamous. Hard Monogamy, aka lifetime monogamy or marriage is not the natural sexual strategy of Men (or women either, for that matter). Instead, men prefer to play the field and be polygamous, having as many sexual partners as they can manage. Under this strategy, men don’t mind having coupling with a lower SMV woman so long as it doesn’t impact their future conquests. After all, there is nothing stopping them from going after a better looking woman next time. But under Hard Monogamy this isn’t possible. Faced with this possibility, men will often vacillate (think cold feet). When they know that they have to commit, they will do so to the highest value woman who will accept their proposal. Functionally this seems to me to be nearly identical to female hypergamy.

3) Men are just as susceptible as woman are when it comes to altering their expectations of the opposite sex. The effect of romance novels upon female expectations of male behavior is not a new subject in this part of the web. They set unrealistic expectations of how man act and behave, with the end result that few, if any, men can ever live up to that kind of expectation. Even when women are made aware of this phenomenon, they will often still  feel dissatisfaction with the men in their life. Well, I believe that men can experience something much like this as well. And no, I am not talking about the effect of Porn on the male psyche and beauty expectations. Attraction is biological, and thus hard-wired in; a man with a healthy mind can’t have his attraction filters muddled around with like that.

No, I am referring to an expectation of female attitudes and behaviors. Truth is, ever since I took the Red Pill I have noticed that I have become increasingly dissatisfied with the women around me. That is not to say that I enjoyed their behavior beforehand, far from it. Rather, I have become aware that behaviors which didn’t bother me before I have since grown to actively dislike, and the absence of certain other behaviors (feminine ones) leaves me in a dismissive mood about those women. They have lost much of their appeal to me, I don’t desire them like in the past. Why? Because after viewing old movies, reading older books, and in a few instances, actually interacting with feminine women, I have become jaded. As a whole, American women just don’t seem to cut it for me anymore (it seems like the most feminine ones I know are immigrants or the children of immigrants). I guess in a way I have either become addicted to femininity or acclimated to it so that I react poorly when it isn’t present.  Either way I don’t want to go back, and I’m not sure I can, even if I wanted to. Another instance in which ignorance is bliss; this wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t know what I would be missing.

That’s all for now. Assuming time permits, I would like to test something this evening…

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17 Comments

Filed under Desire, Femininity, Red Pill, Sexual Market Place, Sexual Strategies

17 responses to “Philosophical Ramblings

  1. “Rather, I have become aware that behaviors which didn’t bother me before I have since grown to actively dislike, and the absence of certain other behaviors (feminine ones) leaves me in a dismissive mood about those women.”

    I was discussing this with a man I’ve developed a good friendship with at my parish. We danced around the wording a bit until we found a way to accurately communicate the idea, but neither of us really see most females as women, but simply as human. It isn’t until they act with feminine energy that they start being viewed as women, and thus, something to treasure and treat with chivalrous action. He compared them to being partial reflections of the Virgin Mary when they do so.

    He’s probably kinder about it than I am. I don’t think he’d call a woman on a lack of feminine grace; I will in an indirect way if it’s infront of other women. Plant the idea, and let the nurturers deal with their own sex’s problems while I interact with that other feminine girl across the room.

  2. Yaakov

    Hi, Donal: Praise God for your understanding. This will/should preserve you from making the mistake of marrying a woman who is not committed to following Jesus as her Lord. Here ignorance is definitely not bliss but rather a sure ticket to a life of remorse.

    The kind of woman whom you desire is one in whom the grace of God is at work to make her over in the image of Jesus – i.e. obedience to God – i.e. His commandments/teaching about how we are to live. Don’t settle for anything less – you don’t have to. Trust in God and do what is right; He will provide for you.

    God bless you,
    Yaakov

  3. 1) I feel like that all the time; not because of the SMP (I’m not in it anyway, that’s probably why), but because other aspects of our culture and the gap between my values and the values of most people around me. But I must have been placed here and now for a reason, right?

    3) I’d love to read more on this topic. I agree that the expectations on both sides are often unrealistic, and I would like to hear your take on it – are the expectations of Red Pill men just as unrealistic, unfair and damaging as the expectations of women? If not, why not? If yes, what is to be done?

  4. proverbs31

    Hello Sir…I understand how you feel. Yesterday I was watching ‘Pride & Prejudice’ for the first time (the Keira Knightly version). After watching, I immediately thought of your previous post. I would have loved to live back in those times. In the movie, women acted like women & were modest & respectful. They treated men the way men should be treated & waited for a husband, instead of running around with different men. Families were also involved in the choosing of a spouse. Also, most of the men were manly gentlemen & pursued the women. I found the Mr. Darcy character to be an attractive man with his attire & whole demeanor, even though he was hesitant about proclaiming his love for the woman he wanted.

    As a first generation American-born woman, I experienced two cultures growing up, and recognize the difference with the American culture & most other foreign cultures. My parents’ marriage was arranged, & my mother told me she had many suitors. My parents don’t understand the American “dating” culture. Also, I agree with the above comment by Yaakov.

  5. Joseph of Jackson

    Donal,

    Don’t worry, this happened to me too. I lived in this funk for almost 6 months. However, after practicing game for a little over a year, something unique happened. I discovered a new way to love women. It’s not based on the old paradigm at all and, in truth, is not as fulfilling, but I think allows me to love God in a way that I was incapable of before. Basically all those thoughts of how women should be and how they should love me are gone and the pedestal is forever beyond their grasp. God is on the pedestal now and he is uncontested. I recommend you start working on the process of making God the sole owner of the pedestal. He didn’t make a mistake putting you in this time. We live in the final days of the kingdom of babylon and it’s ways are counter to yours. Come out and be separate my friend. I know you have it in you.

  6. I know what you mean; just a few days ago a woman said something offhand about herself that dropped her value significantly in my eyes. A few years ago, I wouldn’t even have noticed it, but now it’s a huge red flag. I’m not ruling her out based on that one statement, but if anything happens between us, it’s something that I’ll address.

    That’s not because my expectations have become unrealistic, though; it’s because now I have expectations at all. Blue-pill men aren’t allowed to expect anything of women. That would be misogynistic.

    And yet, in a way, my expectations are lower. As a blue-pill guy, though I couldn’t have articulated it this way, I expected women to act like men — to think as well as men, be as (or more) spiritual as men, place importance on the same things as men, and so on. That’s what the egalitarians say, after all: men and women may have different plumbing and hobbies, but when it comes to the really important stuff — making decisions, holding public office, running companies, raising children — we’re equal and equivalent, right?

    I don’t expect any of that anymore. Which isn’t to say that I think women are incapable of morality, or that they’re evil. But I no longer expect them, even the smart ones, to have a lot of deep thoughts about things. I don’t expect them to be good at making hard decisions or leading. I don’t expect them to take their minor commitments seriously. (A man may break his word, but he’ll know when he does it. A woman who made a date and then flakes because she no longer feels right about it may not even realize she’s broken her word.)

    Is that letting them off the hook? Maybe, but if I’m convinced that they’re not capable of those things, then it’s like letting my dog off the hook for not being able to cook me breakfast. On the other hand, I do think women are capable of being honest and loyal. I think they’re capable of honoring serious commitments like marriage if they’re trained well. I think they’re capable of being excellent helpmates and making a man extremely happy.

    So I guess my expectations have changed: instead of expecting something vague that all women could seem to meet at first but were doomed to fall short of in the long run, I now expect specific traits that any woman could meet but few will. I think that’s better. I notice myself being sort of pleasantly amused by a lot of female behavior that would have bothered me in the past, in much the same way that you can be amused by actions from a child that would be disturbing from an adult. And now that I’m not focused on the wrong expectations, I’m both better able to appreciate their femininity, and also watch out for the real red flags that I glossed over in the past.

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  8. JG

    Donal, i can understand where you’re coming from on feeling less attracted to women. I love being around a feminine woman who has a pleasant sense of humor and a personality that is warm, nourishing on an interpersonal level. Unfortunately, most women I know, while being nice people, do not have such traits. In getting to know them it seems that they never had such behavior modeled for them as they grew up. It’s tragic what’s become of our families.

  9. God is on the pedestal now and he is uncontested. I recommend you start working on the process of making God the sole owner of the pedestal.

    Yes. Yes yes yes. Put no faith in human beings of either sex, but revere the Creator rather than the created.

    …On a related tangent, when the recent “101 Dalmatians” was released, a lot of parents went out and got dalmatian puppies for their kids. But what they didn’t know is that dalmatians are a moody breed of dog, so they didn’t expect that behavior. The dogs were poorly disciplined as a result, and badly handled, and a lot of them wound up in shelters and suchlike because it didn’t work out.

    It’s better to know what you’re getting into in the first place, so you can anticipate the problems and handle them the right way. Same is true of dogs, women, men, and anything else with relatively predictable behavior patterns.

  10. @ JoJ and Sigyn

    I guess I wasn’t clear in my post. Which isn’t surprising… I was rambling after all. I wasn’t referring to pedestalizing women at all. I meant to say that the absence of feminine behaviors and a feminine nature in the women around me is something that I have become more sensitive to lately. And with that comes a strong distaste for their masculine ways, it is completely unappealing to me. It isn’t a matter of virtue, it is all about femininity, or the lack of it. As a Catholic, I wasn’t as prone to the pedestalizing that I think Protestants were susceptible to (We Catholics are taught early and often about guilt and our sinful natures).

    @ Anja

    are the expectations of Red Pill men just as unrealistic, unfair and damaging as the expectations of women? If not, why not? If yes, what is to be done?

    I’m not sure that it is a Red Pill problem per se. Although being exposed to the Red Pill does make it more likely that a man will develop this problem. My expectation that women will be actually feminine probably is a common one for Red Pill men who realize what has been lost, but I don’t think it includes all Red Pill men. As for the nature of the expectations, I don’t think that they are unfair or damaging at all. How is it unfair to expect women to act in a feminine manner? Much less how could it be damaging? What I will admit is that it is unrealistic in this age to harbor such an expectation (delusion, more like).

    @ Leap

    I refer to unfeminine women as females, not as women. If you don’t act like a woman, dress like a woman… dare I say you don’t deserve to be called one.

    @ Proverbs31

    That is one example of a source I was talking about. Reading those old books, you realize just how much has been lost.

    @ Cail

    That seems to match my journey as well.

  11. @ donal

    I guess I was thinking along the lines of: how are young women today supposed to behave in a feminine manner? Who teaches them to/how? Unfair is maybe a strong word, but shouldn’t we at least try to teach them and give them a chance to behave in a feminine way? I’m sure many won’t, but some might – they just simply were not given the chance, or the example.

    I suppose it might also be considered damaging because many men (because they have very high expectations) then remain unmarried. This is not only sad in itself, it also means even fewer families to lead by example, even fewer feminine married women to show young women you can behave like that… Isn’t it possible for a man to teach a woman what her parents or society have failed to teach her, as long as she is pliable enough?

    That is not my belief – simply questions that came to mind when I was reading some of your posts. I don’t really know what to think about it, so I’d welcome some insight.

  12. Elspeth

    I kind of see what Anja is getting at, Donal. I have some notions of what it means to behave in a feminine manner. Things like:

    1. Don’t be loud
    2. Be a good listener
    3. Smile
    4. Avoid androgynous dress
    5. Be submissive to proper male authority in your life
    6. Generosity

    That’s the short list, and of my three young adult daughters, they all drop the ball on at least one. One of them drops the ball on two, despite our best efforts.

    To tell you the truth, I was not the best model myself before I got married, and I often joke that I made up in charm what I lacked in beauty. It’s a joke, but it’s also kind of true. My husband was willing however, to mine the diamond in the rough rather than keep searching for one already shiny and ready to be set.

    I’ll have to mull this over some more, but I do wonder if we haven’t all developed sky high expectations of near perfection from mere mortals.

  13. I rewatched The Matrix the other day, and was reminded that when Neo is reaching for the red pill, Morpheus says, “All I’m offering you is the truth.”

    The whole point of the red pill is to see reality truthfully as it is (or at least as close as the map in our mind can get to it). If your expectations are “unrealistic” they’re not in line with reality, so you haven’t really absorbed the red pill yet; you’re still holding onto a fantasy. High expectations are fine, as long as they’re realistic — a real person in the real world could possibly meet them.

    It’s realistic to expect a woman to wear her hair long, stay fit, and be faithful and loyal. It may not be common today, but it can be done; I’ve seen it. It’s not realistic to expect a woman to always have her emotions under control, to be punctual at all times, or to never have a ditzy moment. Demand what’s realistic and let go of the fantasy, and you’re better off.

  14. I wasn’t referring to pedestalizing women at all. I meant to say that the absence of feminine behaviors and a feminine nature in the women around me is something that I have become more sensitive to lately. And with that comes a strong distaste for their masculine ways, it is completely unappealing to me. It isn’t a matter of virtue, it is all about femininity, or the lack of it.

    I get you now. You are going to be sensitive to it, because you’ve had it brought to your attention. It’s like being pregnant and suddenly noticing how many people in the mall have babies.

    But good. Now you’ll be more able to ignore the shiny imitation-feminine and look for the quality-feminine underneath.

  15. This is good! You and other men are setting the bar (higher standards); as to what you accept, tolerate and work with. When the men do this there is no other option but,for the un-submissive (including myself) to change.:)

  16. @ Anja

    I guess I was thinking along the lines of: how are young women today supposed to behave in a feminine manner? Who teaches them to/how?

    Yes, that is a problem for them. It is not entirely their fault. Their parents and grand-parents share much blame. There is no real answer to the question you ask, they have to look far and wide to find out where to learn such things. But really, this is in your boat ladies. I can only do so much to teach women to be feminine; I can provide positive feedback when they do something feminine, and criticize them when they don’t, but otherwise I can’t teach them.

    @ Elspeth (and the later part of Anja’s comment)

    I don’t think the problem is that I have too high of expectations. I don’t. As Cail noted, the big thing is that I actually have expectations now, where before I didn’t. I’m not expecting perfection (if only because I know that I’m not perfect either), but I do have some basic standards which I find very few women meet.

    @ Sigyn

    Not so much ignore as look through, but the general point stands. I am much better at discerning value in a woman than I was before, which should help me spot the few who actually have it.

    @ Mrsdarlings

    Thanks. I think that holding to standards is essential (for both men and women). And I will correct your comment when I get a chance.

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