Warning Phrases

One of the many lessons that the Red Pill has taught me is to be wary of certain phrases when I see them. At least, in the context of considering a member of the opposite sex as a potential mate. Yesterday I was scanning through some the blogrolls of a few of the various blogs that I read and came across a blog, written by a female, which contained one such phrase in the “About” section. The phrase? “I live life to the fullest.” My response?

Whenever I see this phrase said by a young woman, I immediately form several conclusions in my mind. The first is that the woman is most likely promiscuous, and not simply sexually active. The second is that she is highly materialistic. The third is that she is probably not religious at all.

In short, someone who is not potential wife material.

Of course, it would be foolhardy to judge a person just off a single phrase. Which is why I dug a little deeper into the blog where I found that quote. While I didn’t spend a whole lot of time there, it did become clear that the young woman in question wasn’t the least bit religious, and did have a strong materialistic streak. I didn’t catch anything which suggested promiscuity in my cursory examination, but on the other hand I saw nothing which hinted at chastity either. So all in all, my initial judgment was mostly correct. While it may seem shallow, shortcuts do serve a valuable purpose.

So I started to think of other phrases which trigger that same kind of mental alarm whenever I see them. Here are a few that I thought of off the top of my head:

“I’m a new person now”

“I’ve always been the type who knew how to have a good time”

“I want to do things differently this time”

“I’ve made a few mistakes”

To my readers, what are the phrases which make you mentally scream “DANGER!” whenever you hear them? They don’t have to be just about women, female readers are invited to submit their own warning phrases when uttered by men. Feel free to list them in the comments and I will add those I find especially fitting to this post.

Update: Here are some of the suggested phrases from women:

“I just want a nice guy who will treat me right.”

“I don’t regret those experiences. They made me who I am today.”

“Turnoff: Judgmental guys.”

[Anything that involves Daughter of the King and princess together]

“I prayed, and the Lord laid it on my heart to say/do/be/go there and ________________.”

[Anything which involves “Girl Power” in any way]

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

“To tell you the truth…”

“It really expanded my horizons.”

“I learned a lot about myself.”

“I’m just trying to find myself”

“It’s all covered by Grace”

“I’d do it all over again”

Here are the phrases/things said from men:

“I hate it when people just judge each other all the time. I’m not like that.”

“I just try to take life as it comes, you know?”

[Blanket descriptions of women using profanity]

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22 Comments

Filed under Christianity, Churchianity, Red Pill

22 responses to “Warning Phrases

  1. deti

    “I just want a nice guy who will treat me right.”

    “Don’t want no games; don’t want no players”

    “No drama!”

    “I don’t regret those experiences. They made me who I am today.”

    And the granddaddy of them all: Any sentence or phrase with the word “judge” in any form.

    “YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME!”

    “Turnoff: Judgmental guys.”

    Christianese phrases, such as:

    “I am a Daughter of the King. I am God’s Special Princess. God knows the thoughts and plans he has for me; plans to prosper me and give me a future.”

    “I prayed, and the Lord laid it on my heart to say/do/be/go there and ________________.”

  2. Sis

    Girl power, self-made man, shaming techniques that don’t use scripture, using bad words to describe women,

  3. Thanks Deti, I am going to include most of those, although I may abridge them.

  4. Some interesting choices there Sis. I agree about Girl power being included, as well as a man who uses profanity to describe women (I can’t think of a single good man that I know who uses such words as blanket descriptions of women).

    But I am curious about “self-made man.” Why do you have a problem with that particular phrase? I would think it could be positive if coming from a man who pulled himself up from a childhood filled with adversity.

  5. Sis

    Because he doesn’t need Christ

  6. Ah. You mean a guy who likes to puff up about being a self-made man, without acknowledging the many blessings he has received from God, and being thankful for it?

    Yeah, that makes sense. And should indeed be a warning sign for a Christian woman.

  7. Sis

    A man dependent on Christ to lead and strengthen him is a rare find.

  8. “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

    “I’m an independent woman.” (This one isn’t always a bad thing, but proceed with caution)

    “I am…
    Beautiful
    Intelligent
    Talented
    Creative
    Honest”

    “I voted Democrat.”

    Anyone who begins sentences with “To tell you the truth” or “Honestly” a lot.

    If she ever fawns over someone’s tattoo(s).

    I once saw a young woman pushing a stroller and wearing a t-shirt that read “I’m a virgin but this is an old shirt.” Points for honestly at least, I guess.

    One for men and women…. never date anyone who has been featured on http://www.latenightmistakes.com/

  9. I would almost say any phrase that centers around herself, and sounds like something she’d repeat to convince herself of something, is a Danger phrase. It would confirm an unhealthy dose of solipsism that likely stems from a lack of any attempts of self control towards immediate gratifications.

    Any human being should know that they are imperfect and fallen. Phrases are an easy way to avoid feeling such about our mistakes.

    As a personal example I know I have issues because I still feel a great deal of pride in the accomplishments I’ve made the past two years of hedonism, but being forced into an apprentice role at work as well as all the learning of converting to Catholicism when I was raised protestant is helping with that. I just have to keep self aware enough that the two don’t beat the leadership abilities I’ve gained out of me. Any phrase I’d use to describe my past would avoid those issues. It would be easy to say, but it would be a lie that reinforced those previous poor choices through avoidance rather than dealing with them.

  10. My brother and I were talking about something similar to this the other day. More phrases:

    “It really expanded my horizons.”

    “I learned a lot about myself.”

    One that I love was Dalrock’s asterisk addendum in “40 Years of Ultimatums”

    “…personal development*…

    *Banging men in exotic locations

    For men, it’s actually pretty easy: look at standard PUA advice. One concept is the idea of getting rid of her “anti-slut defense”: that is, you have to feed the hamster something so that it can convince her that despite it being a one-night stand, she’s not a slut.

    So, warning phrases from dudes:

    “I hate it when people just judge each other all the time. I’m not like that.”

    “I just try to take life as it comes, you know?”

  11. From women

    “All men are the same”
    “I’m so sick of men”
    “I’ve changed”
    “I don’t need a man”
    From Men

    “I just take each day as it comes”,
    “Life’s short” ,
    “Popping bottles” I just recently found out what this means.. and it’s apparently a favorite pass time of many men.
    Men who use derogatory names for women in a casual way (and vice versa)
    “Trust no-one” This seems to be a favorite of alot of men in this part of the world, and it makes me think he has serious issues.
    “Yeah..I’m a Christian, but I don’t really go to Church.” A common one – maybe not a problem for other women, but for me it means any interest in him just died.

  12. “I don’t need a man”

    I don’t see how I missed this one and NSR’s
    “I’m an independent woman.”

    Good list here, will update the post when I get a chance.

  13. And another one I forgot! When I am having a conversation with somebody about which direction my life is headed and what I do in my spare time et. and they protest “But you’re so young! Live! Have fun!” Meaning I should be out in the club getting drunk, because you know, that’s the only way you can have fun these days, apparently. :/

  14. “I travel a lot” – similar to SPDI’s phrase above, which also translates into “banging men in other countries so my family doesn’t find out.”

    “I want to make a difference in the world.”

    “My ex…”

    Avoid these words and any variations on them…

    “Empowered”
    “Vulnerability”
    “Privilege”
    “Cutter”
    “Kardashian”
    “Period” (in a non-grammatical sense – example: http://jezebel.com/periods-are-a-wondrous-horrible-thing-1140454357)

  15. I understand how some of these quotes can be a little questionable, but traveling? I love to travel and I am in no way promiscuous (I’m a virgin and I don’t mean those “technical” virgins that do everything else but vaginal intercourse). Also, comments like “I’ve changed.” I don’t see how that is a warning sign. I have changed. Even though I was raised in a Christian home, my relationship with Christ was never personal or mature. My faith was something I was raised in, I didn’t seriously get to know God. After middle school, my relationship with Him has increased ten fold. I see some of these quotes as honest assertions and in no way sketch.

  16. Lovely, most of these are questionable based on context. Some of them are age specific. Others may be denomination specific. They trigger warning flags based on context. You are far too young for “I’ve changed” to serve as a warning flag. Coming from someone ten years older, on the other hand, that is a major red flag.

  17. Hannah

    “As long as she’s happy”
    “I’m just trying to find myself”
    “What they don’t know won’t hurt them”
    “Each to their own”
    “Same difference”
    “Love conquers all”
    “Love wins”
    “It’s all covered by Grace”
    “No regrets!”
    “I’d do it all over again”
    “It’s all led me to where I am today”
    “Just do it!”
    “Women are just as powerful as men …. if not better!” (yeah just heard that at the National Council of Women meeting encouraging equal representation in male-dominated industries last month)
    “Sky’s the limit – no boundaries!” (same meeting!)

    Major warning about the word ATTITUDE!
    Here’s a gem I wrote down from the key note speaker at the women’s meeting:
    “Attitude moves mountain.
    Attitude creates expectations
    Attitude shapes politics
    Attitude influences wars
    Attitude influences climate change
    We believe women’s attitudes will keep chipping away at the barriers.”

    Watch out world – women with attitude coming to a town near you.

    Oh and beware just about any sentence with the word ‘VALIDATION’ in it.

    Lastly –

    “Stay away from NEGATIVE people” haha look how well that’s working out!

  18. earl

    The one phrase that makes me cringe when a guy says it (and I hear it all the time).

    “I’m sorry.”

    Now I’m not talking about when a guy legitimately screws up and is apologizing…I’m talking about like last night…I was walking and a guy was standing in my way. So I wait until he notices, I didn’t even say a word to him, or look angry…immediately he gets out of the way and says “I’m sorry.”

    Men are so afraid of conflict…even insignificant ones like that make them afraid.

  19. I want to be treated like a princess
    I want my guy to propose while kneeing before me
    We all have things to work on (in my case that always meant hypergamy problems)

  20. @ Lovely

    It’s not that travel in itself is bad, it’s that there are many men and women that sacrifice more than they should to travel, and then get into sinful behavior while they do so. Sleeping around, drinking, drugs. Living the YOLO life that society loves right now, but which anyone of moral values should avoid. As such, one should really be careful about someone that has extensively traveled if considering them for a potential courtship.

    As for changing…. Those that have really changed can admit to it, but if they’ve changed they should express an appropriate emotion to accompany it. Regret of previous actions if changing from a sinful nature. Bemusement is fine if not of a sinful nature, but changing from an innocent to an enlightened nature. It’s…. complex, but there are many that simplify such changes or lie about them, in hopes that the lie will become the truth. Avoid such people for fear that you’ll be caught up or taken in by such lies.

  21. Then you’ll hear, When in context to bad behaviour, “It’s my right”, “it’s my body”, “it’s my life”, “i can do whatever I want”, “you don’t know me”. “it’s not my fault” “Don’t judge me” If a woman argues…….A real submissive woman doesn’t argue or need to make herself right through arguing. I made that mistake yesterday when my husbands mom didn’t like my “my husband comes first philosophy” I served him food first, gave him the best chair and sat at his feet snuggle between his legs.

    Donal would you like to vote on my poll? 😀
    http://housewifesexuality.wordpress.com/2013/08/19/men-if-you-saw-a-woman-open-a-door-for-a-man-would-you-think-that-the-man-has-high-statushigh-value-or-someone-important/

  22. “I’m tired of players, cheaters, and guys who won’t stick around”
    “Aren’t there any honest men out there?”
    “Looking for a one-woman man”

    I would love to see this in a personal:

    “I’m looking for a man who will make my girlfriends’ teeth drop out from envy. He also has to be visibly better than my sister’s boyfriend. She’s been two cup sizes bigger than me since she was 14.”

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