This is the second post in what I guess will be a series where I will ask my readers about their thoughts concerning some subjects that have been on my mind lately.
Chastity in the Church
Before I took the Red Pill, I had never given much thought about whether men or women were more likely to be virgins in society generally, and the Church specifically. I did subconsciously subscribe to the false notion that women were more inherently good than men. But on the other hand I knew that chastity was an exceedingly rarely practiced virtue in this day and age. Part of me always hoped though, that in Church one might still find those committed to the practice. Well, once I became acquainted with the manosphere I ran across a lot of folks talking about how there were far more male virgins in the Church than female ones. I have even seen some statistics somewhere which seem to back this up, although I can’t find them at the moment. Given what I have learned about female behavior, and the impact of feminism on Christianity, this contention made sense to me.
I should note that chastity and virginity are not necessarily the same thing; chastity is as much about thoughts and intentions as it is about conduct. One can still be a virgin, but not chaste. For example, if you aren’t attractive enough to gain the attention of the opposite sex but if given the opportunity to have sex (out of wedlock) you would take it, then you aren’t practicing chastity. This means that some of the “male Christian virgins” out there are not chaste, but only have a N=0 because they aren’t attractive and thus get no female attention.
But recently I have seen some folks contesting that chastity/virginity is uncommon in the church. For example, a number of commenters at Haley’s Halo expressed opposing views in her post The Earl of Piety, starting with this comment. Then someone named Someone (I crack myself up at times) left this:
i’m christian, 24, single, dating, and a virgin. all of my christian friends who are female are virgins. amazing isn’t it?
This line struck me as interesting, because I have heard something similar from a few of the other chaste young women who hang around these parts. Lovelyleblanc is one of those who indicates that she and her close friends are all chaste.
All of this has led me to question just how common chastity is inside the Church, at least in America. After having given this some thought, I think I have a few possible explanations for why there are such disparate views of this situation coming from different quarters.
1) With Friends Like These- First off, there is some obvious self-selection going on amongst the young women who contribute their views on the subject. The personal qualities that lead a young woman to be chaste in this sinful age are probably the same set of qualities which determine her friends, and as a result those friends are also likely to be chaste as well. So young chaste Christian women are more likely to associate and be friends with other young chaste Christian women. Given the “herd” mechanics of female social structures, it would also make sense that they would self-reinforce this behavior. So when they speak of all their friends being chaste, they are telling the truth.
2) Apex Fallacy- Men are not nearly as bad as women when it comes to treating the opposite sex as shadows to be ignored, but we still will engage in it. Perhaps some of what is happening is that men are fixating on only the most attractive women in churches being unchaste, and ignoring all of the rest. This explains things to a degree, and might be sufficient for the sample sizes we are talking about. But I just don’t think it is what is happening here.
3) Demographics- It might be the case that some regions and locations have a greater concentration of chaste Christians than others. While there does seem to be something of an obviousness to this rationale, how it plays out might not be so clear cut. My own theory is that chastity is most commonly practiced in Church in regions which are otherwise extremely secular, or extremely conservative. In a largely secular location, someone who purposefully chooses to be in church and profess to be a Christian is going against the grain; they are being counter-cultural. It would make sense that such people are more likely than not to conduct themselves in a manner which is vastly different than the promiscuity that is so common these days. On the flipside, an extremely conservative location might not provide the kind of “cover” that an unchaste Christian is looking for. With that kind of negative influence less prevalent, it might be easier for young Christians to be chaste, or it might have a greater acceptance and thus more social support for it might exist.
4) Willful Blindness- This is the most common manosphere argument against the idea that there are a lot of chaste Christians. Folks are taking people at their word when they really shouldn’t. Some of this has to be happening, it is just unclear how much.
I am inclined to believe that 1 and 3 are the biggest factors, some of 4 as well. Anyone care to chime in with their thoughts?
The Voice of Desire
Something which I have been thinking about lately is how important a woman’s voice is. I think that an argument can be made that a woman’s voice might well serve as both an attraction trait and a desirable trait. Speaking from my own experience, I find that a female voice which is highly unpleasant to the ear is huge turn-off. A woman with a really screechy or squeaky voice will cause me to wince whenever I hear it, and acts as a quick libido killer. On the other hand, a silky or sultry voice, low but not deep… well, that can work quite the opposite effect. Also, I have to admit that I find a lot of foreign accents add a certain something to a woman’s voice.
But what about desirability? When we talk about that in the context of female traits, we are talking about men evaluating a woman for investment/commitment. Does voice factor into this? I suspect it does, because commitment means keeping the woman around for extended periods of time. And the woman having a pleasant voice cannot help but be a plus in this regard. Outside of the obvious aspect of attraction, I would think that many men would filter for voice as well, looking for something that will at least not be a pain to listen to outside of the bedroom.
So, to my male readers out there, what role does a woman’s voice play in relating to her? In terms of attraction and desirability, how important is it? To the ladies, what response do you think you get from your voice?
Power and the Battle of the Sexes
An idea that I have been toying around with lately is that the male-female power relationship is the foundation of all other power structures. By this I mean that the way that men and women relate to one another, and how power is allocated between them in a society, determines every other social structure, system and organization. In my post Pecking Order, I related a story of how when men control power/resource you tend to see a more equitable distribution of resources to the whole than when women have that power. While that incident occurred on a micro scale, I wonder if the same mechanic works on a macro-scale level, affecting civilization as a whole. If that were true, then those societies/civilizations which give women more power and authority over the distribution of resources should theoretically have greater disparities in income and resource allocation than more “patriarchal” societies where men still retain most power. On the other hand, the mechanic might be limited to scales where you have clearly identifiable “Alpha” and “Beta” males, i.e. where there is a clear male hierarchy. Outside of that kind of environment, then perhaps the female tendency towards “fairness” would have a greater impact.
Also, the female inclination to fitness test is something which might have a macro-scale impact as well on society. As part of that impulse, women are driven to seek to expand their power/influence, in order to seek out and encounter a man who will not only resist this expansion but actively push back. The question is, how far does this impulse extend? Does it only occur in individual interactions with men, or does it influence more than just that. My belief is that fitness tests are an individual manifestation of that tendency, and that “feminism” is a society wide manifestation of that same tendency to push against boundaries.
This is an area where I am going to devote some thought in the future, but I am curious to hear if any of my readers have been thinking something similar. Or believe that I am way off base.