Some Observations on the Female of the Species

Over the last few weeks I’ve been trying to catalog some of the more interesting encounters and lessons I’ve learned from all of the women I have interacted with. Here are a few:

1) Just say no to Tats

Seriously, I have yet to meet a single woman who looks better with a tattoo than without. It doesn’t matter how beautiful the inking is, or the tracing, or whatever. Ladies, they are not an improvement. Female skins can be a beautiful thing; don’t ruin it with ink. [Update: Elspeth helpfully supplied a link which indicates that the tramp stamp myth is probably correct.]

2) Time is not on your side-

Several days ago I listened to several attractive, professional ladies in their late twenties talk about how they wanted to wait to have kids. They were telling themselves that they had plenty of time to have children. At least one was married, maybe more than one of them. But they were convinced that time was on their side. Sadly, they are quite mistaken. Age impacts female fertility far more than female fertility.

effect of age on female ferility

The difference between fertility rates in the early twenties and the late twenties is minor, but once you get into the thirties women start to face a serious risk of fertility problems. While it may not end up being those women specifically, many women like them who put their careers ahead a family will eventually find out to their dismay that they chose poorly.

3) Smiling makes a difference-

There is something about a woman’s smile that can light up her face. Even a plain face can be transformed with a simple smile ladies. So please, smile more often. Frowns don’t improve your looks any, and neither does disgust or that arrogant aloofness which some women keep about them at all times.

4) Don’t Curse-

Profanity has its place, but one of them is not the mouth of a women in everyday conversation. I can’t even begin to explain how much of a turn-off it is to  hear a pretty girl spout a mouthful of profanity with every breath. Not only is it not feminine, but it reduces your apparent intelligence as well. After all, how smart can you be if your vocabulary mostly consists of four letter words?

5) Smoking-

Ugh. Just ugh. This is even worse than tattoos. Not only does smoking not look good, but it smells awful, and does horrific things to your teeth and breath. Just don’t. Smoking knocks a women down several pegs of attractiveness, easily.

6) Long hair and bangs-

Yes please. Long, healthy hair has a beauty all of its own. The way it sways and moves about a woman’s face and head… well, if done right it can be downright enchanting. Some women can pull off short hair, but they always look better when it is longer. And bangs can kick that even higher. I know it is a lot of work, but we men appreciate it ladies. If you are married, ask your husband his preference and work towards it. Trust me, he will appreciate it. Don’t believe me? Zooey Deschanel says otherwise:

The perfect bangs on a woman

That is all for now. I’m trying to choose what to work on next, I have several ideas but can’t decide.

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27 Comments

Filed under Women

27 responses to “Some Observations on the Female of the Species

  1. Nice list. It’s true tattoos on women are not nice. Especially on the upper arm, can you imagine how strange it looks when a woman gets married and she is in her wedding dress looking beautiful and then you just see this horrible tattoo on her upper arm, totally subtracting from her beauty and elegance.
    I have always found it odd though that many men seem to like women with tattoos though.

    “After all, how smart can you be if your vocabulary mostly consists of four letter words?”

    So true..

  2. But sorry, what are bangs? Is it this hair covering the forehead?

  3. I have always found it odd though that many men seem to like women with tattoos though.

    I suspect that the reason why is because there is a wide-spread belief among many men that a woman with tattoos is more promiscuous. Some men are drawn to tattooed women because they think they will have to work less to get sex.

    At least, that is what I suspect is at play.

  4. You are correct.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bangs_%28hair%29

    I kind of like the uneven look that Zooey is using in the picture, but I also like hair-styles where some hair will partially obscure one or both eyes. There’s just something about it that really appeals to me.

  5. I Like the side swept bangs, they look great on some women, most women can’t pull off the look with the hair all back off the face very well… but I don’t like the straight one that covers all the forehead too much.. I feel it hides too much of the face. It also kind of reminds me of little girl’s hair. But Zooey Deschanel does look very pretty.

  6. I agree that the straight across the head look isn’t the best. Bangs may not work for every woman, it really depends on her face as much as her hair. But I still think that long hair is better than short. Although I understand its a lot of work for some women.

  7. @donalgraeme
    When I was at school, too long ago to be comfortable for me to remember, women just did not go in for tattoos at all. But there seemed to be a correlation between smoking and being sexually active. I’ve been married for over 30 years now and I intend to stay that way until either wifey or I go off to meet our Maker, so I have not been at all interested in women who smoke, especially because neither my wife nor I smokes. Is this correlation still valid or has it been changed by the changing fashions over time.

  8. Not sure Fred. Part of me is inclined to think so, but I am not certain.

  9. deti

    May I add to this? It might be obvious, but…

    7. Don’t get fat.

    I’m shocked at the number of women who gain weight and how it completely decimates attractiveness. There are a great number of women who are not just a little overweight, but quite overweight — 30, 40, 50 lbs and up overweight. It just destroys a woman’s looks.

  10. That is worth a post all of its own Deti. While I generally oppose the idea of attaching all kinds of services to a church (like Chick-fil-A), I would make an except for a gym. There are a number of young ladies I know who could shed the weight and it would transform them. There is one in particular whom I think could double her SMV if she exercised and dieted.

    But even more than losing weight is the benefits of getting in shape. Even moderate exercise can have a very positive impact on the female form.

  11. I was also thinking about the weight part, I know women with beautiful faces but they are letting themselves down with their bodies. If they lost some weight they would be absolutely stunning. Extra weight really does take away from attractiveness.
    I also think that in some countries, for example UK, maybe America too the ideal of what a healthy weight is for a woman is slightly higher than it must be. For example when I go to the UK people tell me I must eat more, but this is only in comparison to the average there, my weight is considered perfectly average here. I think women in those countries are really over-estimating how much they should weigh to be considered an average weight. But sometimes it really does confuse me, I have been for dinner with overweight friends in the UK and they really don’t seem to eat so much, maybe there’s some truth to the slow metabolism claims, or maybe it’s not so much the quantity of the food, more the quality. I am unsure.

  12. I know women with beautiful faces but they are letting themselves down with their bodies. If they lost some weight they would be absolutely stunning.

    I know a few women like this, including the one I mentioned above. It is truly sad.

    As for ideal weight, America is even worse than the UK. We are having a serious issue with weight gain and obesity, and it has wrecked what people perceive as the average weight. People, women especially, are far too content with a weight that is well above what it should be.

    As for people telling you to eat more, I suspect that for the women telling you this it is provoked by jealousy. They see that you are a healthy weight, and feel threatened by it.

    The slow metabolism claim isn’t as prevalent as many people claim. Far more important is what you described, the quality of food. Oftentimes what you eat is more important then how much you eat. People in the US and Western Europe eat too much junk. Much of the food is highly processed, full of carbs, devoid of nutrients and utterly without benefit to our health. Combine that with a life devoid of exercise, and people will naturally gain weight.

  13. Some men are drawn to tattooed women because they think they will have to work less to get sex.

    At least, that is what I suspect is at play.

    No need to suspect. It’s been researched and found true:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2330259/Women-tattoos-seen-easier-men–theyll-approach-quicker-chat-longer.html

  14. Thanks for that link Elspeth. I guess my suspicions that if a woman is willing to let herself by penetrated by one type of sharp object she is willing to be penetrated by others is true.

  15. deti

    Benefits of keeping weight down for women:

    1. Increases attractiveness and SMV.
    2. Increases stamina and energy levels.
    3. Increases sexual enjoyment and response.
    4. She vastly increases the chances of successfully fending off The Wall for a decade or more. I’ve seen some average women I know who keep in reasonably good shape; and they keep their physical attractiveness well into their 40s and early 50s. I’m completely serious about this.

  16. Regarding #4, totally agree. I see women like that every day at the gym. In fact, I’ve seen some women whom I figure to be in their mid to late 40s who look better than some 30 year old women I know.

  17. Anja

    Excellent list. We don’t see this kind of thing often enough. There are numerous lists for what men like to see in women, of course, but never of the type I would like my daughter to swear by.

    I would add something about apparel, even though I know modesty is mentioned often enough otherwise; I just think it probably should feature in the list. I’m a woman, though, so I might be wrong about what men notice and appreciate.

    In addition, I think a girl’s friends or free-time activities say a lot about what sort of person she is and should be taken into account. Am I wrong?

  18. Regarding your last paragraph, not in the slightest. The easiest and perhaps best measure of a person is whom they keep around them. And what a person does with their time is also a good indicator of their personality and priorities (what my blogging says about me is another whole story…).

    As for modesty of apparel, that is also important. But I think it is something best left to some of the female bloggers out there to explore initially, although I would comment on their choices.

    You say you have a daughter Anja. Is she on her own, or is she still living with you?

  19. Anja

    I’m sorry, I probably expressed myself wrong – English is not my first language. I do not have children yet, I was talking about any potential daughters I might have.

    As for apparel, I agree that women should be the ones to write about it, and I think they often do. I just meant men probably have preferences about style as well, so it may belong on a list like this one.

  20. We do have preferences on style, or at least I do. I won’t speak for any of the other men out there.

    This post wasn’t meant to be comprehensive list, just some thoughts that popped into my head. I guess I could make one, but to be honest I have always disliked the bullet-point lists which explain what you are looking for in a mate. I’ve seen too many which are simply ridiculous.

  21. Lisa in Vermont

    While I generally oppose the idea of attaching all kinds of services to a church (like Chick-fil-A), I would make an except for a gym.

    The large church I attended while living in NJ had a gym. It was a great asset. Of course it had rules regarding modesty that members had to follow (no low-slung yoga pants with exposed thongs).

    The associate pastor was a weight lifter and the gym attracted a lot of young men who wanted to work out with him, and might not have ever visited the church otherwise. Over the years, many accepted the Lord and became regular church attendees.

  22. Thank you for that story Lisa.

    The rules on modesty make sense, and I heartily approve. Fortunately my gym is pretty good about that sort of thing.

    And thanks for pointing me towards an obvious typo. Oops.

  23. Pingback: Profanity is unladylike | Embrace your feminity

  24. I really agree with all your points, but I do see an awful lot of couples where the woman is stunning, impeccably dressed, polite, a wonderful cook, a lovely mother and…her husband is a slob. Somehow, this is accepted. No, not ok! Fair is fair, get yourselves to the gym, gentlemen!

    Re women in the UK having a slower metabolism, given that I have been obsessed with my weight almost as long as I can remember (I mean, from about 8 or 9) and have therefore meticulously observed these things both in the UK and abroad, I can honestly say that I think that women in the UK are built differently and yes, I think that we are naturally bigger (I don’t mean fatter, I mean wider, more solid) than people from other countries like Italy and France. Honestly, I have been pretty underweight before (I was 53kgs/8st 5 at 5ft6/168) and I still couldn’t fit into French jeans – my hips are just too wide. That is no excuse for excess weight, I totally agree, but we *are* built differently.

  25. @ Razz

    I completely agree about the need for men to hit the gym. As Christians, our bodies belong to our spouses. Which means a wife needs to maintain her body for her husband, and a husband to maintain his body for his wife. Not to mention healthy eating and exercise is essential to taking care of our bodies, which are Temples of the Spirit.

    As for body types, there is a fair amount of evidence to back up that different ethnic backgrounds tend to favor different body shapes.

  26. Ragazzagallese.. Yes I’ve noticed the same that a lot British women tend to be built a little more solid than other European women.
    But I have the exact same problem with my hips too, I am not waif like, I never will be, even at a low body fat most of it seemed to be concentrated in my hips!

    And a size 8 UK is really quite big! I am sure they make the sizes a little roomier? Have you noticed the same?

  27. Here’s an observation on women: take any generalisation about them, and assess its accuracy against a typical womans actual behaviour.

    For example, women are more empathic and caring, more inclined to think of others and be unselfish, right?

    So what would you expect when the typical divorcee hears her ex has passed away? A pang of guilt? Sadness? Loss?

    Nope. Here’s her first thoughts:
    “Oh my god, I will have to cancel my weekend plans because he’s not going to be here.”

    See here:
    http://www.dailylife.com.au/life-and-love/dl-home/how-do-you-tell-your-children-their-father-has-killed-himself-20131016-2vmic.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

    Notice too she excuses her reaction as due to her status as a recovering alcoholic, thus excusing her of any responsibility for being a self centred bitch.

    Nice move.

    My respect for women in general just declined a few more points.

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