It Only Takes One…

While I am not a regular reader of Roissy’s site, he does sometimes offer some truly thought provoking and insightful writing. His latest post, concerning an Alpha widow, is one such example. While it is full of snark (as usual), he gives an excellent analysis of a woman confessing that she is an Alpha Widow. While the full post is worth reading, the key point, as far as could be determined by the actual article on the Daily Mail, is that the woman so ruined had slept with only one man prior to her husband. Of course, she could very well be hiding more lovers, but there is no evidence to back up any such assumption. All of which means that it took only one man to ruin her as wife material forever. Just one man. One Alpha Male, to give her an emotional high which could never be replicated by a man who would actually marry her. When women complain about men wanting to marry a virgin, they need to keep in mind that we have a very good reason to do so. None of us want to become the next Neville.

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “It Only Takes One…

  1. I read this Heartiste article, too, and was really saddened.

    If our churches had any backbone, we would teach this to our young women instead of sending them to those silly silver ring purity events. If a girl could hear first hand about the real dangers associated with pre-marital sex, we’d have some small hope of getting them to listen when we tell to avoid men like the one in this story.

  2. I suspect that it was the message, in part, that was told to young women a century or more ago. It might even have been more brutal, and thus more honest: men don’t want to marry a broken, ruined woman. Even more brutal: they won’t marry a ruined woman.

    And that is exactly what that women was. Ruined. Frankly, Shakespeare had the right advice for this situation: “Get thee to a nunnery, woman!”

    Part of me finds it rather hilarious that so many Protestants promote the “purity ring” charade, yet at the same time decry some of the more mystical traditions of the Catholic Church. If purity rings aren’t magical talismans against evil, I don’t know what is. [Ed: This was not meant as an attack against Protestants, but to merely point out that hypocrisy is inherently human]

    I’m glad to see you back again SSM. Many of us quite miss your site, it was an excellent place for discussion and debate. I’m sorry about the personal troubles that it caused you, however. But if anyone falls into the category of Matthew 5:10 in this part of the web, it is you and women like you, such as Sarahsdaughter.

  3. deti

    ditto on SSM’s triumphant return.

  4. deti

    I’ve said this before elsewhere and get routinely pilloried for it. But just about every woman I’ve ever known who was sexually active before she got married has one of these. Maybe she’s not an alpha widow who simply cannot pair bond. But she never ever forgets that alpha, and he colors and taints her sex life forevermore unless she makes a concerted effort to “get over” him.

    Men should screen for this by listening to descriptions she gives. Sometimes these women are brutally honest and will say things like:

    — He was just perfect.
    — He swept me away.
    — I just couldn’t help myself!
    — He was beautiful.
    — I was so in love with him.
    –It was just such a magical, beautiful time.

    The man pushed all her attraction buttons just right, in the right way at the right time, and she responded just the way she wanted. All this acted as a sexual and emotional superglue. The epoxy of sex and emotion caused her to bond so hard and so quickly that she’s never really broken it.

    And unfortunately for her, the question becomes whether she’ll release that bond.

  5. deti

    And by the way: This hard bonding is what is supposed to happen. Women are designed this way: Save it for the man who really trips her trigger so that when they finally do the deed, he is titanium rod hard and she’s literally begging him to penetrate her. The two then bond so hard to each other that separating them is nearly impossible.

  6. Here is the money quote supporting your contention Deti:

    This time, I sought the help of a trauma psychotherapist to try to get him finally out of my system. He told me that my story was surprisingly common.

    Reading stories like this convinces me that the so called sexual liberation movement (which is really just part of the FI) has been perhaps the worst thing to ever happen to Western Civilization.

    And I think you are correct, that hard bonding is supposed to happen. But it is supposed to happen with the woman’s life-mate (husband), not with some male equivalent of a ship passing in the night.

  7. deti

    donal:

    Yes. And this is precisely why a woman should be careful about who she has sex with. From reports like the one you linked to at Roissy’s, this kind of bonding can happen whether she wants it or not; and whether she expects it or not.

  8. SSM, so glad you are back!

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  10. WWW

    Reading stories like this convinces me that the so called sexual liberation movement (which is really just part of the FI) has been perhaps the worst thing to ever happen to Western Civilization.

    The worst thing to happen to Western Civilization was that it turned its back on God and walked away from Him. The Sexual Revolution was His abandoning the West to its lusts — and what has ensued has all but destroyed what was left.

    And so we see today’s West: a technologically sophisticated Gomorrah.

  11. WWW

    D’you ever get the feeling that we’re simply reinventing the wheel here?

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